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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24292198">Objectivist On Fire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/myracingthoughts/pseuds/myracingthoughts'>myracingthoughts</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alone's The Only Way I've Ever Known [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avengers (Comics), Hawkeye (Comics), Marvel, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Fluff and Smut, Assault, Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Blood and Injury, Everyone Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mild Smut, Past Child Abuse, Post-Concussion Syndrome, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Slow Burn, Swearing</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 01:13:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>44,761</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24292198</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/myracingthoughts/pseuds/myracingthoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>[Complete]</p><p>Sequel to A Call To Arms.</p><p>A violent attack, an overprotective brother and a whole lot of secrets. Danielle Fisher struggles to find her own place in a world of superheroes, aliens and artifacts.</p><p>Part 4 of a larger series.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Avengers Team &amp; Original Female Character(s), Clint Barton &amp; Original Female Character(s), Clint Barton/Original Female Character(s), Tony Stark &amp; Original Female Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Alone's The Only Way I've Ever Known [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1683040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <b>The following chapter contains a violent and descriptive assault scene.</b>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If you or anyone you know is struggling, please reach out for help. You can find a list of international crisis intervention hotlines and online resources <a href="https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres">linked here</a>.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>May 29, 2014</b>
</p><p>Dani heard the smash of the mirror shattering before she realized where it came from. </p><p>She didn’t even have the chance to feel scared of the brown-haired man in a perfect suit and tux, hand arched around her neck in a tight hold. The trickling down the back of her neck and the spots in her vision were the only things she could feel as she struggled to make sense of what was happening. </p><p>She was losing focus fast, the fist around her windpipe cutting off her oxygen and making it impossible for her to scream for help.</p><p>She tried everything, thrashing against him, trying to land any sort of punch or kick as her body screamed in pain. But it she was running out of air and he just stood above her, laughing.</p><p>“Dr. Edwards didn’t mention you’d be this easy,” he sneered, brown eyes glinting in the overhead light. “It’s almost no fun.”</p><p>He slammed her against the tiled wall, broken ceramic clinking at where her feet should have been on the floor. Instead, they were dangling just below the sink basin, her body twisted against the wall, spine forced into jagged angles as it molded to the sink underneath her. </p><p>It was too loud outside. The bathroom was too far away. They’d never hear her. They’d never know. Dani’s eyes started to droop under the weight of her fear, giving into the lack of oxygen to her brain and pressure building in her skull.</p><p>“Oh, no no, sweetheart,” he crooned letting her neck go just enough for her to hastily gulp down another breath. “You’re not getting off that easy. Let’s see if this wakes you up.”</p><p>The knife glinted in the dim light and he quickly shoved the tip under her chin, lazily drawing it up and down her neck as her eyes widened. He hastily sliced through the straps of dress, catching the skin underneath in long, thin strokes as she tried to squirm away from it. She hissed and clamped her eyes shut as the cuts opened and seeped down her arms. </p><p>Her limbs were so heavy, lead weights hanging from her body as she tried to focus her thoughts. The only thing she knew was that she needed to get out of this hold.</p><p>“Who do you think is going to save you? Big brother to the rescue? Or maybe your Captain?”</p><p>She could only splutter as she tried to feed breath into her lungs. She wanted so badly to cough, to break free, to take a real breath. Tears were streaming down her face of their own volition, dripping down onto the open slits on her collarbones.</p><p>“How much of a mess should we leave for your friends?”</p><p>She wondered if she gave in, would he loosen his hold again? Letting her eyes droop again, she waited, hearing his hiss in frustration as he re-adjusted his grip and lost his focus.</p><p>Jerking herself back in an attempt to squirm out of the way of the blade, she managed to contort her body enough to land a swift kick between his legs. Just as she expected, he drew his hand back, giving her the chance to scream as loud as she could. The strangled sound sending him into a rage as he threw her against the steel bathroom stall.</p><p>“You little bitch,” he seethed. “We were just getting started.”</p><p>He grabbed her by the hair, pulling in her up to stand as he legs wobbled beneath her. The edge of the blade trailed down the remains of her cream dress. Dani kept her eyes on the ceiling, willing herself to look away as he snarled and started tracing lines through the fabric into her skin with the sharp blade.</p><p>The outside world sounded so distant. Somewhere there was the pulse of the music in the next room, cheers from the crowd thumping through the walls of the bathroom. She let herself be carried away from what was happening, hoping to distract herself from the waves of pain. </p><p>Every hiss, every gasp, every involuntary jerk of her body sent her further into black, taking away from her limited oxygen supply. Though his hands were no longer around her neck, it was still so hard to breathe. The swelling and bruising in neck was closing around her windpipe.</p><p>She knew his eyes were boring into hers as he held her in place, but she couldn’t look at him, couldn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her terror. </p><p>Someone was pounding on the door, calling her name as she whimpered. Her attacker didn’t seem to care about the noise anymore, too focussed on carving into her torso. Her vision was starting to go sideways and back and forth until she could barely comprehend up from down.</p><p>“Time’s almost up,” he said coldly into her ear, like it was a joke between the two of them. “But don’t worry, we’ll be back for you.”</p><p>He dug the blade deeper into her abdomen, sending Dani into a world of white, unseeing eyes trying to find anything beyond the searing sensations in her torso.</p><p>The next few seconds seemed to happen in slow motion. Someone pulled her attacker off of her, throwing him across the room where he landed with a thud. Unable to hold herself up any longer, Dani slid down the side of the bathroom stall, slipping on the pooling blood below her. She could hear that sinister laughter punctuated by punching, swearing and frantic calls of her name.</p><p>“Don’t move her!” ordered a woman’s voice, maybe Nat?</p><p>She couldn’t seem to focus on anything, grasping at bits and pieces of what was going on around her. There were suddenly people there in the room with her. She could hear the footsteps and gasps, see shadows looming around the room.</p><p>She couldn’t hone in on the details.</p><p>Someone was pressing down on her chest and abdomen, and she winced at the contact, suddenly feeling each and every oozing slice in her skin. The adrenaline must have been wearing off, she could feel herself starting to shiver.</p><p>She was so cold.</p><p>“Paramedics are five minutes out!”</p><p>It was becoming harder and harder to breathe, and Dani found herself gasping for air, struggling to connect air from mouth to lungs. Someone’s hand was on the back of her neck, adjusting her into a better position as she continued to wheeze.</p><p>The laughter had stopped, replaced by that same cold voice. She could see two figures across the room, one hunched over the other, both covered in blood. Was that Tony?</p><p>“Cut off one head—” his voice broke at the words; he was already gone, gurgling and foaming at the mouth.</p><p>The edges of Dani’s vision were starting to fuzz, and she couldn’t quite focus on the scene in front of her. </p><p>“Dani?” Was that Clint’s voice? There was a hand at her cheek, hitting her lightly. “Stay with me for just a couple more minutes. Dani, you have to stay awake.”</p><p>But sleep was easy, the darkness was warm and oddly comforting, and Dani was tired. Limbs heavy, eyes fluttering, the voices faded and she drifted into unconsciousness.</p>
<hr/><p>
  <i>”That’s my <b>fucking</b> baby sister in there, Barton. When were you going to tell me? Why weren’t you watching her?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Tony, I don’t think this is the best time for this—”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Don’t you dare tell me what it’s time for, Romanoff. This reeks of your bullshit too.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It just happened, OK? I had just gotten her—“</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“<b>Gotten</b> her? Like she is just something to be <b>had</b>—?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“You know damn well that’s not what I meant.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Yeah, well. You read the fucking file, Barton. You should have known—”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Tony—“</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“No. Alright? I <b>knew</b> we shouldn’t have had it outside the tower…”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Wait, guys—“</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Dani? Are you…”</i>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <b>May 30, 2014</b>
</p><p>
  <i>“…she could have anything from memory problems, to vision issues, trouble with balance, sensitivity to light or sound. It’s hard to know until she wakes up, and even then, with a hit this hard, there could be symptoms that last weeks or even months.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“How long could she be out for?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“It’s hard to say. The good news is she avoided a haemorrhage or a hematoma, and she hasn’t needed to be intubated. The infection risk is still real, but now her body’s got to put in the work. I’m sorry I don’t have…”</i>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <i>“Does she have any other family we should notify?”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Her mom—“</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“No, Pepper. Dani was crystal clear that her mom is out of the picture. I don’t… I don’t think she’d want us to reach out to her.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Tony, it’s already hit the news.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>“Then let her mom put in the work if she cares. Let <b>her</b> call.”<br/>
</i>
</p><p>
  <b></b>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <b></b>
</p><p>
  <b>May 31, 2014</b>
</p><p>
  <i>“God, Dani. Please wake up. I’ll pray to whoever the fuck is up there if they just bring me back to you.”</i>
</p>
<hr/><p>It was the pulsing mechanical tones that carried her out of the darkness, a beacon guiding her into the sterile smelling room. Bleach — she hadn’t smelled that in a while — and something else she couldn’t quite place. Flowers maybe? </p><p>Her eyelids felt like they were made of lead, and she couldn’t seem to feel the rest of her body as she tried to stretch out her limbs. </p><p>How long had she been out?</p><p>“Dani?” A hopeful voice at her side. “It’s OK. You’re OK. You’re in the hospital.”</p><p>The sound that came out of her throat was inhuman, somewhere between TV static and a croak as she tried to groan. Her throat was on fire. She managed to crack her eyes open, squinting at the lights above, her eyes recoiling into slits. Who made lights that bright anyway?</p><p>“Shit, can you turn off the lights?” The voice was back again, sounding more urgent.</p><p>A flick sent the light off, leaving just a stream of soft sunlight coming through the windows. Or at least that’s what the hazy colours and shapes seemed like. Dani tried to open her eyes wider, but her vision was still too blurry to make out the faces in the room. At least three figures standing and sitting by her count.</p><p>“Dani?” That was Pepper; she’d know that voice anywhere. “Tony, hit the call button.”</p><p>“Pe-Pepper?” She managed to get out, scratchy voice not sounding remotely like her own.</p><p>A choked sob rang out in the room, floating above the titters and beeps from the machines beside her. Dani coughed, struggling to clear her throat, but the tightness was still there.</p><p>“Don’t worry about talking, just focus on us, kid,” Tony’s voice cut through the haze.</p><p>A squeeze of her hand made her realize she had a body she could barely feel below her, bringing her out of the aimless floating she kept drifting away to. She tried to blink away the filter distorting her vision, straining her eyes in frustration but still not being able to see quite clearly.</p><p>“I can’t,” it was barely a whisper above the machines, but he squeezed her hand in acknowledgment. </p><p>“It’s OK, kid,” he sighed. “Doctors say you have a concussion. Just try to stay with us a little while, OK?”</p><p>She nodded, fighting her eyes open.</p><p>“Are you in pain?” Pepper’s worried voice was closer, the scrape of chair legs following close behind.</p><p>She winced at the noise and tried to gesture to her throat to answer her question.</p><p>“Clint, pass a cup of water, please,” Pepper asked softly. “Here, Dani.”</p><p>She managed to take a couple of sips, the cold water feeling like heaven against the raw insides of her mouth and throat. </p><p>“Is he dead?” her scraggly voice ripped through her throat, but it was the only thing on her mind.</p><p>“Yeah,” Tony responded in a thick voice. “Fake tooth.”</p><p>She exhaled shakily, realizing that the fragmented memories she had of what happened were real. She struggled to pull together a narrative, the flashes of memories jumbled together in her head.</p><p>“Must have knocked it loose with those punches,” Clint’s voice this time, hard and angry, tones she’d rarely heard from him herself.</p><p>“Well if someone had spotted—“</p><p>“I wasn’t the only one at the stupid party, Stark—”</p><p>“But apparently you made yourself responsible for her—”</p><p>“Just because you don’t like us together doesn’t mean—”</p><p>“A lot of fucking good it did—”</p><p>The raised voices were becoming too much for her, pounding through her skull. She could hear a deep ringing in her ear drums. Hands over ears, she screwed her eyes shut in pain and tried to go back to the darkness, the quiet.</p><p>“That’s enough!”</p><p>Ringing overtook her ears, carrying well above the loud and angry tones at her bedside. The beeps, buzzes and voices slipping away like just another dream.</p><p>

</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>June 1, 2014</b>
</p><p>“Hey sleeping beauty,” a raspy voice called out to her from the darkness.</p><p>Blinking away the fog from her eyes, she could make out the red hair and green eyes of the woman in the seat beside her bed. Something softly traced shapes on her hand, beckoning her from falling back to sleep.</p><p>“I seriously doubt Disney princesses wake up looking like this,” Dani groused. “Nat?” </p><p>“The one and only,” she said with a small smile. “Can you see a little better today?”</p><p>It took her a few moments to realize what she meant, remembering jumbled pieces of being awake before, but Dani slowly nodded.</p><p>“What day is it?” Dani asked in a voice that sounded like cigarettes and straight whisky.</p><p>“Sunday. You’ve been here for a few days now,” she explained. “I’m going to hit the call button, OK? The nurses have been asking about you.”</p><p>She nodded as her friend reached over to press the button.</p><p>“Aren’t you supposed to be back in the field by now?”</p><p>Nat’s forehead creased for a microsecond, enough to tell Dani she caught her off guard with that question. </p><p>But she brushed it off with a wave of her hand, “I’m not going anywhere. Don’t worry about me.”</p><p>Dani nodded, not quite satisfied with her answer, but unable to rasp out anymore words. Instead, she just looked at Nat, tried to focus on her face and sharpen her vision and take in the details. Dark circles under eyes. Chipping red nail polish. Hair in a hasty ponytail. She’d been there for hours already, her wrinkled clothes gave her away.</p><p>“You still with me?”</p><p>Another silent nod, watching as a nurse popped her head in the room for rapid fire questions.</p><p>“Dani, right? I know your throat probably hurts, so I’ll try to make this quick. Do you know what year it is?”</p><p>She appreciated both the sentiment and efficiency.</p><p>“2014.”</p><p>“President?”</p><p>“Obama.”</p><p>“How’s your vision doing?”</p><p>“Still blurry.”</p><p>“And your head?”</p><p>“Still weird.”</p><p>“Pain?”</p><p>“Sore, itchy.”</p><p>“Nauseous?”</p><p>She shook her head.</p><p>“OK, let me just test your eyes,” she said quietly, saddling up to the side of the bed. “Follow my finger.”</p><p>“This feeling familiar to you, doc?” Nat teased from her bedside.</p><p>“Only if Clint was on this end of the pen light,” Dani joked, trying to pay attention.</p><p>She immediately regretted the longer sentence, bringing her hand to her throat as she tried (unsuccessfully) to cease the burning sensation. Clearing her throat, the nurse turned off the light and tucked it into a pocket.</p><p>“Your pupils are still a little off,” the nurse hummed before turning to Natasha. “Let me know how long she stays up, and you,” turning back to the brunette, “call me if you need anything, OK?”</p><p>Dani watched as she flitted out the door before she finished her sentence.</p><p>Eyes lingering a little too long on the closed room doors, she realized she had zoned out for a few seconds. Fingers were gently nudging her open hand on the blanket, bringing her back.</p><p>“Do you remember being up before?” Nat’s voice was gentler now.</p><p>Dani nodded, “They argued.”</p><p>A sad smile spread, “Yeah. Those idiots are taking a break from coming in together — they nearly got us all kicked out.”</p><p>Us. Did that mean there were other people here?</p><p>“Who else?”</p><p>“Right now? Me, Steve and Clint. Your favourite blonds are just getting coffee.”</p><p>The corners of her mouth lifted slightly at the joke</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Not feeling much of anything except,” Dani motioned to her throat. </p><p>And it was true, she didn’t. Was it the brain injury talking, the pain meds, or was she was simply just that numb? Dani had only remembered she’d been injured when she saw the bandages that weren’t covered by her hospital gown. She could feel the pressure of the stab wound the most, but even that…</p><p>The simple statement’s meaning wasn’t lost on her friend. Nat frowned slightly, squeezing her hand as the door behind her opened, and two people walked in.</p><p>“Dani,” Clint’s voice rang out first and she could hear the smile on his face before it came into focus.</p><p>He shuffled over to the other side of her bed, pulling up a seat as the other blond stood over his shoulder. Clint set down his coffee and quickly grasped her hand, bringing it up to his mouth and pressing a quick kiss on her knuckles. She could feel <i>that</i>, the tingle carrying up her arm at the simple gesture.</p><p>“How long have you been up?” Steve’s voice was more subdued, glancing at Nat as if for confirmation.</p><p>“Not long,” Dani rasped. “Still a little foggy.”</p><p>“You’ll get there,” Clint assured. “Docs even think you’ll be able to go home soon.”</p><p>She nodded, not sure if that was comforting or not. For all she knew, whoever organized the attack was still out there. And while no one could be sure she was completely safe at the hospital, she felt wary about leaving when she still didn’t quite know the full extent of her injuries.</p><p>Brain trauma was a big deal, she knew that from her professional life, but it didn’t make sitting here drifting in and out of sleep any easier. She was trying to be patient with herself, but it was frustrating sitting in a hospital bed and being watched like a hawk. Even if those hawks were her friends.</p><p>The more she thought about it, the more she was starting to feel more like an obligation and not a human being.</p><p>“Is Tony still mad?”</p><p>The trio’s faces dropped at Dani’s question, and they all looked at each other, trying to silently figure out how to handle the curveball. Clint’s eyes dropped to the floor and stayed there, mouth disappearing behind his fist.</p><p>“I think Tony feels— He’s frustrated. I think we’re all feeling guilty that none of us found you sooner. We should have been there,” Steve worded carefully.</p><p>It was a diplomatic non-answer if she ever heard one. But she could read between the lines, the body language around the room, and decode the worried expressions on her friends’ faces. Clint couldn’t even look at her, eyes now locked to the bruised and scraped hand he was still holding. </p><p>Her eyebrows creased in confusion at their guilt. No one could have known they were going to attack <i>her</i>.</p><p>If anything, it was <i>her</i> fault she couldn’t defend herself after years of SHIELD training.</p><p>“You saved my life,” Dani breathed.</p><p>Clint’s eyes screwed shut in pain at the memory, breaking her heart in two. Dani reached out towards him, brushing her fingertips over his hand — it was the only thing she could reach from where she lay.</p><p>“You did,” she assured softly, looking into his red-rimmed eyes.</p><p>Her eyes suddenly ached, pain shooting through her skull. Gritting her teeth, she tried to wait it out, tried to focus on not feeling as the three surrounding her stood in a flurry. </p><p>“Dani?”</p><p>Were they calling out to her? She couldn’t quite hear it as she cried out and cradled her head in her hands, squeezing, pressing and massaging into her scalp to try to rid herself of the sensation.</p><p>“Natasha, press the—”</p>
<hr/><p>The room was dark the next time Dani opened her eyes. Just the blinking lights from the machines beside her visible. But even in the moonlight, she could see a wall of flowers lined up along the windowsill, the bright colours looking out of place in the cold, sterile room. </p><p>Her vision was nearly back to normal, Tony fast asleep in the chair pulled up to the side of her bed as his hand held hers. She debated letting him sleep, knowing it was a rarity for him on the best of days, but she also knew he’d probably want to see her awake right now.</p><p>She traced his knuckles with her thumb, feeling him stir.</p><p>“Tony.”</p><p>It was barely a whisper, but she watched as he pulled himself out of sleep. It took a few blinks for him to settle on her face, the corners of his lips turning up at her open eyes.</p><p>“Hey, how are you feeling?”</p><p>“A little sore,” she admitted, absently scratching at the edges of the bandages on her sternum. “I can see straight, though.”</p><p>“That’s good. That’s really good,” he said with a tentative smile. “Any headaches?”</p><p>She shook her head, “The last one was really bad.”</p><p>“I know, kid,” he sounded pained. “The doctors think they’ll go away, but it’s something we need to keep an eye on.”</p><p>“Is Pepper—?”</p><p>“She had to go back to California,” Tony explained a little too quickly. “Work stuff.”</p><p>His expression said anything but. Guilt ate away at her insides as she remembered the fight in her hospital room, wondering if that could have been the straw that broke the camel’s back. But, she didn’t want to pry.</p><p>She groaned slightly, trying to sit up a little further in bed. Tony adjusted the pillows behind her back.</p><p>Catching his hand again, she traced over his knuckles with her thumb, trying to focus on the details. They were coming in clearer now, enough to see the still-fading bruises and scrapes that ran up her arms. She wondered what the rest of her body looked like under the bandages, feeling slightly nauseous at the thought.</p><p>Shaking herself out of zoning out, she looked back to find Tony observing her carefully, holding himself back from saying something. It was a rare look for the billionaire, not one to hold his tongue, so Dani shot him a quizzical look.</p><p>“How much do you remember?” he asked before quickly adding, “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”</p><p>She blinked, trying to piece together the scrambled fragments of that night in her mind. She wanted to do this, to walk herself through the night. It was better for her brain to talk it out sooner rather than later, before they could get warped by others’ remembrances. She knew that.</p><p>With a grimace she started, “He was waiting for me in the bathroom. I froze. He-he grabbed my neck so I couldn’t scream,” her voice broke a bit at the memory and she found herself fighting tears a lot sooner than she’d meant to. </p><p>She couldn’t look at Tony, couldn’t see anymore of that broken expression on his face, so clear, even in the dark.</p><p>“He uh, mentioned Doctor Edwards, the shrink I saw at SHIELD,” she managed to choke out. “Mentioned you and Steve. Ask…asked h-how much of a-a mess he should leave for you an-and Steve…” she was sobbing, heaving breaths as Tony tried to get her to calm down.</p><p>Her chest was so sore now. Feeling rushing back into the forgotten creases, the movement bringing the stinging tightness of healing scars to the forefront. But she needed to push through. They needed to know they were still in danger, she owed it to them.</p><p>“It’s OK, you don’t have to go there,” Tony soothed, looking concerned. “You’re safe.”</p><p>But she was already there, the memory imprinted on her mind’s eye, and in some sick way, dumping it out was helping to relieve all this pressure that was burning a hole into her inside. She managed to get her breathing down to a more natural tempo with some painful deep gulps of air.</p><p>“He… said there’d be more of them, more coming. I don’t think he was tryi—trying to kill me, but it um… it gets hazy after he stabbed me,” she managed to stutter out, unsure if any of what she saw after that point had been real.</p><p>“You lost a lot of blood,” Tony explained, looking pale at her words. “I didn’t know…” he stopped, taking a gulp of air. “I didn’t even know if you were still alive when we got to you. Dani, I’m so sorry. We never should have had that party. I should have listened…”</p><p>“No one could have known.”</p><p>“<i>I</i> should have known.”</p><p>They sat there for a while in silence, not sad, just processing. Gentle squeezes to her hand reminding her she was still awake as her eyes drifted across the room, across her brother’s pensive expression, across the white board on the wall at the end of her bed that listed her progress.</p><p>She didn’t know how long she was up, slipping into sleep before she even knew she was tired. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>June 2, 2014</b>
</p><p>The sun peaked through the blinds, making her squint to see Tony replaced by an equally tired looking Clint at her bedside. Hair sticking up at odd angles and eyes drooping slightly, it looked like he just rolled off the couch in his living room.</p><p>Based on the ratty t-shirt and wrinkled jeans he was wearing, he might have.</p><p>“There she is,” he said softly, bringing her hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the cool skin. “I missed you.”</p><p>“I missed you too.”</p><p>“Nurses said you were up for a few hours last night,” Clint offered. “Doctors think that’s a good sign.”</p><p>“Do I get to go home soon?” She asked hopefully.</p><p>“As soon as you can start staying up and walking around,” Clint replied, looking a little wistful at the thought of her getting out. “Let me get the nurse so they can check on you.”</p><p>A bouquet of flowers was perched on the table beside her bed, separate from the ones lined up against the window on the ledge. It looked new, the bright blooms shining in the dim light. Dani could just make out the tell-tale loopy writing of “-B” and knew immediately it was Bobbi.</p><p>Lump lodged firmly in her throat, her eyes were too blurry to read any of the rest of the cards.</p><p>Clint found her staring at the card with shining eyes. She quickly sniffed away the almost tears at the sight of the blonde nurse behind him with a name tag that read ‘Lexi’. She was nice, soft spoken as she asked the usual questions and checked her eyes. She was just checking her IV drips when she snuck in a recommendation.</p><p>“Might be good to go for a little walk, see how you feel after,” the nurse nudged with a glance at Clint.</p><p>After she left the room, Dani and Clint traded looks with latter offering an eyebrow waggle. She rolled her eyes and nodded at his silent question, and he quickly moved to the side of the bed to help untangle her wires a bit.</p><p>“Alright Speedy Gonzalez, don’t leave me in the dust,” he joked as she hung her legs over the edge.</p><p>He helped hoist her to her feet, holding on as she found her footing. It was so much harder than she thought it would be. The rush of pain and pressure to her legs and torso feeling so foreign, like she hadn’t walked in years.</p><p>Clint was incredibly patient, not saying a word as she got comfortable with the idea of standing. She took a couple tentative steps, wobbling slightly but getting used to the motion. She managed to make it out of the room with Clint’s arms hovering around her waist and forearms.</p><p>And suddenly the hallway split in two, spinning slightly. She quickly leaned herself against the wall, sinking into Clint’s waiting hands as she tried to catch her breath. The hospital hallway was suddenly a funhouse mirror, tilting and turning around her.</p><p>“Talk to me, Dan. What’s wrong?” his voice was low, serious.</p><p>Clint tried to catch her gaze, but her eyes were acting on their own volition, darting around and trying to make the hallway a straight line again. She couldn’t steady them. Could focus on one point.</p><p>“Dizzy,” she managed to spit out as Clint propped her up by her elbows.</p><p>“OK, sit down,” his forehead creased as he watched her face as she lowered herself into a nearby chair that he dragged closer to her.</p><p>He squatted in front of her, hands on her knees as she tried to keep her head straight.</p><p>“M’not gonna faint,” she breathed out, unsure if she was trying harder to convince herself or Clint.</p><p>He brushed back some hair from her face and observed her for a few seconds, kissing her temple. </p><p>“You’re fine. You made it out of the room, that’s a great start.”</p><p>She felt like she just did a 5k run, she was so tired. Sitting for a moment, shuddering chest and trembling hands, she managed to slowly catch her breath. She could have sat there for the next hour with the way her limbs were screaming at her. But the Stark name came with a streak of stubbornness, right there next to the restless gene. </p><p>Leaning into Clint’s hand, still cradling her face, she kissed his palm and started to lift herself out of the chair as he bolted upright.</p><p>“Hey, hey. Are you sure you don’t want to rest for a little bit?”</p><p>“No,” the barely verbal grunt left her lips before she could edit herself.</p><p>He nodded anyway, taking her by an elbow gently, body poised to catch her. One foot after the other, shaky steps as the floor seemingly rose up to meet each foot. The room was going slightly sideways, beer goggle vision still in full effect as she worked her way toward the bed. </p><p>Clint didn’t say anything about her wobbling or lack of balance, he just helped her get where she needed to go. She was beyond thankful it had been him there and not Tony. Her brother’s tightly wound ways and incessant need to <i>fix</i> everything would have sent her spiralling.</p><p>She slid into the bed, under the covers Clint propped up for her. The simple act combined with his tired appearance sending waves of guilt through her. </p><p>He shouldn’t be here.</p><p>She shouldn’t be leaning on him. He didn’t sign up for this. This wasn’t in the “us” agreement. It wasn’t fair to him. Natasha’s non-answer from yesterday rang through her brain. They were putting life on hold for her. That wasn’t fair, not when their stakes were so much higher than her own.</p><p>She said the words before she could stop them, “I’m sorry.”</p><p>Perplexed, he asked, “Sorry for what?”</p><p>It was like all the anxiety and fear of asking too much of her friends poured out of her in that moment, rattled by the fear of knowing the road ahead was going to be hard. Her heart was racing, chest tight at the thought of all the things she could have done to not be there in that moment, taking advantage of his kindness.</p><p>The beeps on the machines beside her started to get louder.</p><p>“That night. I froze. I shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t be here. I could have— I should have—“</p><p>“Dani, Dan it’s OK,” he soothed, taking her hand between his own and trailing kisses across her knuckles. His voice was just floating above the frantic heart rate monitor as his eyes shone, “You’re here, I’m here. You’re alive.”</p><p>She could feel her breathing level out as found his blue eyes in the frantic search around the room for anything steady to look at. Her vision still wobbling slightly, she tried to breathe, fighting the hitches and stutters.</p><p>“You’ve got it. In and out,” Clint instructed softly.</p><p>The frantic beeping was gone after a minute or two, blinking into the background with the rest of the tones around the room, leaving just the two of them breathing.</p><p>“You did nothing wrong, Dani,” he assured. “I’m going to be here no matter what, OK? Unless you sick the nurses on me, because frankly, I don’t really want to mess with them.”</p><p>That was his way of reassuring her without feeding her fear, in his goofy, roundabout Clint way. He knew, he could see the guilt in her. She couldn’t understand what she had done to deserve someone like him. And whether it was the exhaustion, the frustration or the meds, she could feel her eyes fill with tears at the thought.</p><p>“Aw, no. Nat says she’ll hit me if I make you cry,” Clint groaned playfully.</p><p>Dani gave him a watery smile and squeezed his hand. He stood up and pressed his lips in her hair, cradling her face.</p><p>“Happy tears,” she explained quietly. “Thank you.”</p><p>“This is nothing. I’ll be here every day until you’re home, OK?”</p><p>But that wasn’t what she’d meant.</p><p>“Thank you for that night,” she clarified with a slight shake of her head. “I’m sorry Tony took it out on you.”</p><p>His eyes widened, clearly having taken his off guard with the comment.</p><p>“I didn’t know how much…” he trailed off, frowning slightly as he lost himself to the memory. “He was right, I should have—“</p><p>“If you’re about to tell me that my brother was <i>right</i> about something, you can stop right now,” she sniped. “If anything, <i>you</i> were right.”</p><p>“About what?”</p><p>“I’m here. You’re here. I’m alive.”</p><p>


</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>In this chapter: TBI's are no joke, friends.</p><p>Here's hoping the emails for this update don't get lost to the void!<br/>Aiming for a mid-week update next.</p><p>Thank you, as always, for the reads/comments/subscribes/bookmarks and support.<br/>This amazing community really warms my cold, dead heart, and I'm very grateful for you all.</p><p>PS: I posted a <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24304594">TaserHawk one-shot</a> a few days back, for anyone interested.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>June 7, 2014</b>
</p><p>“I’ve got you,” Steve Rogers said quietly as he supported Dani into the waiting SUV.</p><p>Stepping up into the car was proving to be more of a challenge than she’d thought it’d be. Tony was already in the back seat, helping Steve ease her down.</p><p><i>Steve</i> was on duty, assisting Dani make it home from the hospital because <i>Clint and Tony</i> still weren’t playing nice. Or talking without fighting. Or talking to each other at all.</p><p>Their snide remarks and pot shots didn’t seem to let up, even as she started making progress.</p><p>If anything, they had gotten worse the closer she got to her release date. The last few days, even she could hear them bicker in the hallway and watched the exasperated expressions of everyone else in the room who’d clearly been subjected to even longer (and likely louder) disagreements. As much as they tried to hide their frustration, it had clearly been grating on the group.</p><p>Her visitors had started dwindling too, coming on their own instead of in groups, at odd hours. And sometimes not at all, leaving her alone with the pleasant enough nurses and her room full of flowers. She couldn’t take it personally — they had to work, she had to heal and neither of them could really help one with the other.</p><p>But it still stung when Tony, her brother, didn’t show up for three days straight. Or when Pepper’s only visits were via video chat. And her walks around the hospital had to be escorted because of the risk of media wandering the halls looking for a story. Dani was just sick of being in the hospital, basically no man’s land, behind a barrage of armed security and tight-lipped staff.</p><p>As a result of all of the above, she didn’t have much patience for Tony — the main instigator — at the moment. </p><p>Instead, Dani, at this very moment, was simply thankful the hospital was letting her use a lesser-known exit in order to avoid the cameras and TV crews parked out front. </p><p>Somehow the news of her discharge had hit the press before <i>she’d</i> even known she was going home.</p><p>She managed to buckle herself in, hissing slightly at the pressure on her still-healing wounds. She wasn’t looking forward to having to change her bandages herself. Tony had tried really hard to convince her to let him hire a Personal Support Worker for the next month or two. </p><p>Stubborn as ever, Dani had convinced him down to the first week to help her transition to home life.</p><p>She was able to walk for up to 20 minutes now, unless a dizzy spell stopped her dead in her tracks. And then there were the headaches, debilitating beasts that came and left with no warning. It’d been almost a week since her last one, but she was on eggshells most days, knowing they could return at any point.</p><p>The doctors cautioned that Post-Concussive Syndrome could last up to three months, something they couldn’t even diagnose until a month after her attack. So, for her safety she agreed to a little bit of help on top of JARVIS’ vigilance. </p><p>Mostly so she’d stop feeling so guilty for putting a stopper in her friends’ lives over the last week and a half. </p><p>Between rotating shifts with her, the security detail, and now extra consideration with her lack of mobility, she had been monopolizing way too much of their time. It would be easier on everyone once she was back home in the tower.</p><p>“How are you feeling?” Tony’s voice broke her train of thought.</p><p>“I’m fine, Tony,” she sighed, leaning her head back on the seat with a thud. “I’ll be even better once people stop asking how I’m feeling.”</p><p>Steve chuckled from the front seat as Tony shot him a glare.</p><p>“Some days I forget you two are related and other days…” Steve trailed off, watching as a smirk crept up on Dani’s face.</p><p>“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that. Your physiotherapist starts tomorrow,” Tony said, which wiped the smirk right off his sister’s face. “Don’t give me that look.”</p><p>It was hard not to cringe. She knew she couldn’t treat herself, but she’d never imagined she’d have to completely hand over the reigns. She felt so useless in this state.</p><p>And Dani hated feeling useless.</p><p>“And she’s been fully vetted,” Tony said in a lower voice, and Dani could see Steve’s face harden in the rear view mirror. “JARVIS and Hill have been through the SI staff roster twice to review floor access and anyone working internally.”</p><p>They still didn’t know exactly how the attacker had gotten into the restaurant. After the press field day with the SHIELD files, and then Dani’s attack, they had to be particularly careful about anyone who might be in a position to leak information.</p><p>The pitter patter of her heartbeat was steadily climbing in her ears at the thought.</p><p>“Wait, <i>Maria</i> Hill?” The name had blown by her at first, taking a few moments to settle in.</p><p>Tony watched her face carefully, “Yeah, we hired her after the… thing. Why?”</p><p>That was news.</p><p>“No, no reason. Just caught me off guard. I liked working with her,” Dani admitted, but now she was desperate to change the subject and save her blood pressure. “How’s Pepper?”</p><p>Tony adjusted his glasses and looked out the window, “She’s good. Busy. Sends her love.”</p><p>Wrong thing to say, apparently. Tension crept into the vehicle as Tony tried to busy himself with his phone. Dani caught Steve’s look in the passenger seat as he thankfully made the save. </p><p>“Uh, so the team wanted to watch a movie once we get in, to celebrate you coming back,” Steve said.</p><p>“What movie did you guys land on?” Dani asked, watching Tony’s face shift back to neutral from the slightly pinched expression he was sporting seconds ago.</p><p>“We thought you might need a little pick-me-up, so we went with a classic. Mary Poppins,” Tony said with a smile she couldn’t help mirroring.</p><p>“Steve, have you seen it before?” Dani asked brightly.</p><p>“Can’t say I have,” he replied.</p><p>Realizing Steve had been working on catching up on media and pop culture, she was suddenly glad that she’d get to see his reaction to the fanciful musical numbers.</p><p>“I think you’ll like it,” she wistfully.</p><p>It was one of her favourite movies from her childhood, a fact she’d let slip in front of Tony maybe once in the past, so she was shocked that he remembered. Or it was a really lucky guess.</p><p>Or more than likely, he asked JARVIS.</p><p>As the SUV pulled up in the tower’s underground, Tony’s attention turned to his buzzing phone, eyebrows raised as he stared at the screen.</p><p>“Steve, do you mind walking Dani up? I’ve got to take this call.”</p><p>Steve turned around in his seat to watch Tony’s expression or shoot him a look. Dani couldn’t tell from where she was sitting, but either way, Tony’s expression softened a bit as he looked at her. </p><p>She realized she was nervously chewing on her lips.</p><p>“Of course,” he said as he hopped out of the car and supported her arm as she climbed out of the seat. </p><p>She tried not to let the soreness show in her expression, biting back a wince as the skin on her torso contorted as she settled onto her feet. Steve was good about taking his time with her and not being too suffocating, keeping pace beside her as they made their way to the elevator.</p><p>“Do you want to stop by your room and get anything? Or head straight to the media room?” He asked before they entered.</p><p>Worried about the extra walking, she settled on straight upstairs. She was already tired by the time they made it up to the common room floor, thankful Steve offered to get her some water in the kitchen so she could lean on the countertop for a break.</p><p>“Do you want to sit down for a bit?” Steve called over his shoulder, noticing her form slumped against the island.</p><p>She shook her head, “No, I can make it to the room.”</p><p>Steve raised his eyebrows and slid a glass of water across the counter to her. </p><p>“You know, you don’t always have to push through, Dani.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” she assured.</p><p>In truth, she was getting impatient with herself. She was fed up with her slow progress, with how tired she felt all the time. The fact that it was completely irrational didn’t escape her. If <i>anyone</i> should know better than to treat brain injuries lightly, it should have been her. She knew she was just being stubborn, but the patented Stark trait buried inside her wasn’t about to admit it out loud. </p><p>Steve wasn’t an idiot, he knew as much too. He was just too polite to call her out on it.</p><p>“Hey, look who’s home,” Sam’s voice carried through the kitchen and she could hear the smile in his voice. “I hope you’re not standing on my account.”</p><p>“Very funny,” she admonished, giving into his hug.</p><p>“Well, you’ve been missed. I know Clint’s missed you,” he added the last bit a little quieter.</p><p>The words flew out of her mouth, brows furrowed, “Has…has he been OK?”</p><p>“All things considered,” Sam’s expression softened, no doubt picking up on her rigid, pained stance. “I just thought you should know — you know, with everything going on.”</p><p>She nodded, knowing he wasn’t trying to guilt trip her. He was just looking out for his teammate, his friend. There were whole parts of Clint locked away somewhere, a fact tucked away in the back of her mind. Bits and pieces spilled out sometimes, in the small things, in the larger admissions.</p><p>A small voice in her head scolded herself; she should have known, should have seen it. But really, she couldn’t judge if he was struggling and not ready to let her in. After all, most of her past had been sealed away for a decade or longer up until last month. All she could do was just be there for him.</p><p>“I looked into the local VA for you, by the way, for when you’re ready,” he added, voice returning back to his normal cheery tone. “Whenever you want, I’ll introduce you to the team over there.”</p><p>She smiled, appreciating that Sam didn’t focus the conversation on her recovery. She was so sick of being treated like she was made of glass, of hospital speak, and of being prodded and tested that it was nice to think about the things she’d be able to get back to doing soon. </p><p>“Thank you, Sam. I really appreciate it.”</p><p>“It’s nothing,” he brushed off. “You’ll be back at it in no time.”</p><p>There were footsteps trailing down the hall toward them, and she turned to find Clint, freshly showered in some jeans and a t-shirt. Hands in his pockets, he smiled as soon as their eyes met, and she couldn’t help but return it.</p><p>“Welcome back,” he said softly, hands settling on her hips as he gently covered her lips with his own. “Here, come sit with me,” he stole her hand and started guiding her toward the couch.</p><p>Steve snorted from across the room at the third suggestion to get off her feet, Sam following shortly after while Clint looked around like he missed the punchline to the joke. He did.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You guys are the worst,” Dani griped, eyes darting to all three men with a weak glare.</p><p>She let Clint lead her to the nearby sectional, placing her down before taking the spot beside her. Arm wrapped around the back of the couch, he toyed with the fabric of her shirt sleeve absentmindedly as they both watched Sam and Steve chat in the kitchen area. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, rest was nice, especially on the nice soft couch. Especially with Clint beside her.</p><p>“Discharge go OK?” Clint asked quietly.</p><p>Steve and Sam busied themselves, backs to them as they continued their own conversation. She knew full well they were purposely giving them some privacy, but couldn’t be more grateful after spending two weeks in the equivalent of a fishbowl.</p><p>“As well as it could have,” Dani sighed. “Are you OK? You look tired.”</p><p>And he did. She trailed her thumb across his cheek, lips upturning as he leaned into her touch. Unshaven face bristling under her palm. Sky blue eyes tracked her own as she searched his face.</p><p>“Not sleeping great,” he admitted, looking at her own expression a little closer. “What about you? What’s on your mind?”</p><p>She could write a novel with all the worrying her mind had been doing lately, but settled on the lowest hanging fruit.</p><p>“I don’t know what’s up with Tony,” she sighed. “I know he doesn’t do feelings — I mean, neither do I — but he’s been really off lately.”</p><p>The arm on the back of the couch moved to stroke the nape of her neck. Her eyes closed, relishing the small but thoughtful touch. She leaned her head into the crook of his neck, realizing just how much she missed this closeness in the confines of her hospital room.</p><p>“Hey, don’t let him stress you out,” Clint said. “I can handle my own against his extended shovel talk.”</p><p>“I don’t even think it’s just that…” Dani couldn’t bring herself to say the rest.</p><p>She didn’t know what was going on between Tony and Pepper — frankly, it wasn’t any of her business —but whatever it was, it was clearly bleeding into the rest of the tower’s lives with his sulking and moodiness. She could tell as much, and she hadn’t even <i>been</i> in the tower for the past week and a half.</p><p>“Oh, I see how it is,” Nat’s dulcet tones carried over the silence on the couch. A merciful escape from the awkward, heavy conversation. “I didn’t get an invitation to the welcome wagon.”</p><p>The redhead plopped herself down on Dani’s other side, leaning her head on her shoulder, careful to not put too much weight on her. </p><p>“Don’t tell me Barton’s started the sob fest again,” Nat whispered in her ear, breaking Dani out of the somber tone by making her giggle.</p><p>“Hey, they were happy tears. You heard the lady,” Clint defended, leaning over to flick Nat’s ear.</p><p>The redhead shot him a death glare and he promptly retracted the hand.</p><p>“What is this, a love-in? What are you all waiting for?” Tony’s booming voice echoed through the hall as he paced into the room.</p><p>“Uh, we were waiting for you?” Steve explained, hands full with two bowls of popcorn.</p><p>Tony didn’t give him the satisfaction of a response, merely waving everyone towards the media room until they got the hint.</p><p>“Get this show on the road, got it,” Sam muttered with a smirk, beelining into the room.</p><p>Dani managed to pry herself off the couch without assistance — not that Nat didn’t have to physically hold Clint down from trying — attempting to make eye contact with her brother who was trying desperately to avoid her gaze. </p><p>“Everything OK?” Dani asked her brother hesitantly, trailing behind as Clint to made his way into the room.</p><p>“Yeah, everything’s fine. I sign the cheques, I make them look cool. It’s all hunky-dory,” Tony rambled. “Seriously, don’t worry about me, kid.”</p><p>She knew it was anything but <i>hunky-dory</i>. But she wouldn’t push unless he let her, and he was doing the trademarked Tony Stark denial dance in front of her eyes.</p><p>“It’s part of the job description,” she said flatly. “And we both know it goes both ways.”</p><p>He shot her a knowing look. He wasn’t ready to talk about it.</p><p>So she left it at that, patting him on the shoulder and took the elbow he offered her for support. He dropped her off at a seat on the first level, not wanting to risk stairs. Clint was already waiting for her, leaving the seat empty for her to sit down in first.</p><p>And sit down she tried.</p><p>But it wasn’t so easy to get comfortable in the seats, feeling every pinch of skin and healing muscle scream in pain as she shifted. Whether it was the stiff leather or the reclining mechanism under the seat, Dani was having a hard time getting situated.</p><p>Shifting sent daggers through her chest, but worst of all, she could feel everyone’s eyes on her as she struggled. She could see Tony rise from his seat, itching to do something, say something, <i>fix</i> something. </p><p>She wished she could melt into the floor.</p><p>It was like she was a goldfish in a bowl, repeatedly hitting the glass as everyone watched. Tears of frustration were already welling in her eyes and her breathing was becoming shallow. Dani had to turn her head to face forward, so no one else could see her embarrassing reaction.</p><p>Was this karmic payback for something? She’d spent the last week wondering. Why couldn’t she just do this one thing right?</p><p>“Can I help?” Clint’s voice was small, hands already comfortingly rubbing her arms as she nodded.</p><p>She felt him lift her onto his lap, angling her slightly sideways and using his chest to keep her upper body more upright.</p><p>“Is that better?” His breath tickled her neck and all she could do was nod, squeezing his hand in appreciation so the rattling in her throat wouldn’t give way to a shaky response. “Just tell me if it gets uncomfortable, OK?”</p><p>Tony must have dimmed the lights, chatter returning back to normal levels as the movie started to play. It took her a while to focus on it, too wrapped up in her own thoughts and insecurities to really enjoy the intro. She couldn’t stop thinking about how everyone in this room had seen her at her worst, stripped down and helpless. </p><p>Would they ever be able to see her as someone who didn’t need saving, need fixing?</p><p>The pity and sympathy at every stumble felt like acid, just eating away at who she was beyond this charity case in front of them. And sure, she was in the privacy of the tower now, in front of people she trusted, but what would happen once she started going out into the real world again?</p><p>It was Clint’s breath on her neck that brought her out of it and back to the screen. He trailed light kisses along her neck, letting the rigidity melt away as Dani sank into his hold.</p><p>He knew how to distract her much too well.</p><p>She took his draw hand into her own and tried to ground herself back into the moment. Tracing the edges and rough patches, the scars old and new. She soaked up the feeling of his face in the crook of her neck, the scratchy stubble, lips and all. </p><p>And in the dark she wondered whether this would ever get easier, the healing and the scabbing and the scars.</p><p>But at least she was home now. She held onto Clint a little tighter at the thought.</p><p>

</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aiming for a Saturday or Sunday release for the next update, so I can try to get ahead in writing the upcoming chapters.</p><p>Hope you're all safe and well!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>June 14, 2014</b>
</p><p>It had started off as a good day, a decent end to a long week.</p><p>The past week’s back-to-back PT sessions were wearing on Dani, leaving her exhausted emotionally and physically, but in a good way. It was the quieter sessions of the past week neither he nor Dani loved the effects of. The ones when it felt like she was running into the same walls over and over, frustrating her to no end. </p><p>And as much as she tried not to beat herself up about it, that sting of failure hung over her head like a black cloud for the rest of the day. Most days she’d shrunk into herself, staying in her own suite with occasional visits. </p><p>Finding her thoughts drifting a lot to that night, she didn’t really feel up to being social yet.</p><p>But yesterday had been the last day with her Personal Support Worker, Leslie. Dani had worked up enough strength to be able to make her way around without too many stumbles, and she was ready to be on her own. And this morning her physiotherapist —Dr. Khatri— had been over for a productive session in her suite. </p><p>Despite how insistent Dani had been telling Tony she wouldn’t need her past the first week, they’d managed to extend her services into the next month, with fewer sessions as she tapered off into self-care. Dani finally admitted, out loud, that she couldn’t be in charge of her own PT care. </p><p>Tony wanted to throw a party in her honour, really.</p><p>Today’s session had been great, a sense of accomplishment running through her. Purpose, maybe. Sure, the motions were tedious and repetitive, boring and sometimes painful. But she was working at getting better, getting her body back. It had been nice to hear her assessment of her improvements, even being given additional exercises to complete more often. </p><p>Dani knew that meant progress, and progress was good.</p><p>So she decided to treat herself with a shower. She’d been relegated to sponge or cloth “baths” since getting back from the hospital, not wanting to get the still-healing wounds wet. But they’d healed enough to handle a gentle shower, according to her post-op appointment yesterday. </p><p>And after more than two weeks without, a shower sounded like a luxury.</p><p>With her physio appointment done, Tony and most of the team away on an assignment, and no other responsibilities beyond getting better, Dani headed to the bathroom. She heated up the water, starting to undress. Folding her sweatpants onto the counter, she caught herself in the mirror. Caught the jagged, raised edges. The raw evidence of that night. </p><p>The deeper stab wound in her abdomen was the one they were still keeping an eye on, still bandaged below the mirror’s view. The shallower cuts were already mostly out in the open. Her stomach still lurched at the thought of the raw red and pink scars scattered across her torso, culminating in the deep red gash by her hip bone. </p><p>She’d gotten over it enough to change her own bandages, mostly out of stubborn pride, not wanting to force anyone else to be responsible for taking care of her. </p><p>But here she was, breath stuck in her chest at the sight of herself — white tank-top, white bandages peeking out, still battered, still bruised, still tired. Visions of bloody cream clothes jolted into her mind, tearing her gaze away from the mirror like she’d been struck.</p><p>She whipped her head around to doublecheck the bathroom door wasn’t closed.</p><p>It couldn’t be shut.</p><p>After her first night back at the tower, Dani had almost asked Tony to remove the lock from the door altogether, having woken up from a particularly vivid nightmare. It had since remained open, but it didn’t stop her from checking whenever she was in the vicinity of the bathroom. </p><p>She knew she wouldn’t have fastened it. She knew it was safe here. But none of that registered in the heat of the moment. No amount of logic could calm her restless mind. Her heartbeat didn’t slow as she peered through the open doorway. Her breath didn’t restart. Her hands still felt clammy, and looking down, she realized they were already shaking. Why couldn’t she breathe? </p><p>She was back where it all started. She was back to that night.</p><p>Dani couldn’t tear her eyes from the door. Brain firing on all cylinders, the only thought pulsing through her body was telling her that she was in danger. Someone was there. Something was there. They’d get her as soon as she closed her eyes. </p><p>These was this bubbling urge to stand watch, to be sure she couldn’t be taken off guard. </p><p>Climbing into the shower, she backed herself into the corner, so she’d have full view of the room. Sliding down the wall, she landed on her tailbone, cradling her knees, shower-head splashing at her.</p><p>“Dr. Fisher, do you require assistance? Your heart-rate is quite high.”</p><p>The words were trapped in her throat, rough and raw and swollen. Why couldn’t she speak? Coughing, clearing her throat, frantically feeling for some sort of external deficiency to explain why her windpipe was being crushed. She was gulping for air, gasping, sobbing.</p><p>“Dr. Fisher, I’ve notified Sir per our safety protocols.”</p><p>Head to knees, she could feel the pulsing in her body, hear the squeaks around her as she jolted and shifted in place. Her body was not her own anymore.</p><p>“Dr. Fisher, I’m allowing Ms. Romanoff into your suite to assist you. Please don’t be alarmed.”</p><p>Nat sprinted into the bathroom holding something white — she couldn’t make out the blur, eyes too unfocussed to see straight. Hands scrambling to turn off the water in the shower, the squeak echoing in the bathroom. Someone knelt down, hands gently at her back, to wrap a fluffy robe around her.</p><p>“Did you hit anything? Does anything hurt?” She could see her green eyes darting around, analyzing her as she struggled to say anything.</p><p>Nat cupped her chattering cheek with her hands, gently nudging her gaze into her own.</p><p>“God, you’re freezing,” she winced. “Dan, can you get up for me, love?” </p><p>Dani twitched at the sudden hand around her arm, fighting the urge to tear it out of her grasp and retaliate.</p><p>“You’re OK, you’re safe. It’s just me.”</p><p>The redhead spoke slowly, emphasizing the words like she was speaking to a child. Eyes wide, Dani could see telltale redness among her bottom lash-line — the worry, the sadness — a look mirroring her own, she was sure. She struggled to remember if she’d ever seen Natasha cry.</p><p>Mostly because her mind wanted to be anywhere but this moment.</p><p>Dani groaned as she stood with Nat’s assistance, stab wound screaming in pain as she got herself out of the tub. And she couldn’t stop the trembling. Every footstep feeling like three with the shudders running through her body.</p><p>“We’re going to go over to your bed, OK? I’m going to help you,” the calm voice walked her through every step. </p><p>Somewhere inside Dani registered that Nat had done this before, that she knew how to handle the fight or flight response that came with trauma. And somewhere not quite as deep she was grateful for her.</p><p>“I’m going to lift you onto the bed, Dan.”</p><p>More hands, more wincing, more flinching. Every touch was a struggle with herself, willing herself not to fight back against her friend. Sat on the bed, propped up with pillows against the headboard, she could finally breathe again. Like she’d just snapped back into her senses. </p><p>But the sensations, the emotions and the adrenaline crash were all too much. The first few attempts at air came out as gasps, shaky exhales releasing tears from her eyes.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I thought I could do it,” Dani was rambling through teeth chatters, trying to avoid biting her own tongue at the sharp movements. “It was just a goddamn shower, I thought I could do it. I couldn’t do it.”</p><p>Nat hushed her, cradling her body against her chest as she shook with sobs.</p><p>“No apologies. None. I’m right here, Dan. I’m here for you, I’ve got you,” she soothed, rocking her slightly as she stroked her wet hair.</p><p>They were quiet for a long time. Her breath and the excess water dripping down from her hair onto the comforter below being the only audible sounds in the room. Her hair was already half dry before either of them decided to speak.</p><p>“Do you need anything? Do you want me to get someone for you?” Nat’s voice was just above a whisper, fingers gently nudging her through the robe.</p><p>There was only one person who came to mind, one person she could really trust enough to see her like this. Undone in the worst way.</p><p>“Clint?”</p><p>Lips planted into her hair in reply, Nat replied, “Of course. JARVIS?”</p><p>“Mr. Barton is currently on a mission and is anticipated back later tonight.”</p><p>Nat frowned slightly at the response, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Dani’s ear, “Do you want me to stay with you?”</p><p>Dani nodded without hesitation, eyes locked to the blankets on the bed and face hot with embarrassment. She was a fully grown woman who didn’t want to be alone in her own home. She was terrified.</p><p>She was a disgrace.</p><p>“I can hear you thinking from here,” Nat mused in a low voice. “This is normal, love. It’s part of getting better. You didn’t do anything wrong.”</p><p>A long inhale pushed back the burgeoning tears, “I shouldn’t have to depend on you guys to save me all the time. I’m being a burden.”</p><p>Natasha stiffened under her, tone turning serious as squeezed Dani slightly, “Don’t you dare think you’re a burden, Danielle Fisher. You’re family. We do this for family.”</p><p>Dani could see the fire behind her green eyes, hear the words a little harsher. Maybe she needed a little harsher. Letting go of the white fabric, letting the white knuckles release, the redhead rubbed her arms in comforting circles.</p><p>“And I’ll be here to remind you of that as many times as you need me to.”</p>
<hr/><p>“Allowing Mr. Barton in.”</p><p>Dani’s eyes snapped open at the sound of JARVIS’ voice, realizing she must have fallen asleep in Nat’s lap. The spy was sitting upright beneath her, still playing with her hair. How long has she been out? It might have been minutes or hours; her body weighed down by the grogginess and exhaustion, her bones and scars aching.</p><p>Footsteps. She could hear heavy footsteps trudging down the hall towards the bedroom.</p><p>Nat must have realized she was awake, looking down to assess her. Nat pulled the collar of Dani’s robe closer together, fussing the fabric around her more tightly as she gave her a motherly once over. She laid a kiss on the brunette’s forehead and she hoisted herself up off the bed.</p><p>Clint had just rounded the corner into the bedroom in full tac gear, staring at the pair from the doorway with those apologetic blue eyes. Dani watched the spies’ silent conversation before Nat made her exit, leaving Clint to cross the room. </p><p>Taking both of her hands, he sat himself on the bed beside her. His grasp was tentative, light and airy, leaving room for the tremor in her hands to take hold again. She felt like she was holding on for dear life, threading her fingers through his to hide the shaking.</p><p>“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here. Did you get dizzy?” Clint asked softly. “Was it your head?”</p><p>Worry marred his face, deep lines and wide eyes searched her for visible damage, lingering a little too long on the raised and raw edges peaking out from the robe.</p><p>Dani shook her head in response to his questions, trying to find the words. </p><p>“It w-was just too cl-close to… That bathroom… I panicked, I—“ she sucked in a breath to help steady her voice. “I thought I was back <i>there</i>. I just wanted to take a shower.”</p><p>She had to stop looking at his eyes once the tears sitting between his lashes started to register in her brain. That was something she couldn’t take that, making him cry. Sniffling at the thought, balling her fists and trying to hold back the tears. She was so frustrated with herself. </p><p>Why couldn’t she just get through this?</p><p>“Dani, this is not your fault,” Clint soothed, the corners of his lips downturned. “This is part of the healing process.”</p><p>Sniffed back tears, she couldn’t hold back her own frustration.</p><p>“I don’t see Tony not able to be in a bathroom without feeling like he’s dying,” she barbed.</p><p>A beat of silence reinforced that wasn’t the best response, guilt prickling inside her as she waited for Clint’s reaction. But he didn’t tense, face didn’t break, no fury or wrath.</p><p>He looked at her in understanding.</p><p>“Some people just hide it really well,” Clint replied quietly. “Myself included. You didn’t see a lot of me after New York for a reason, Dani.”</p><p>Breath caught in her chest at his words, she stared at him. She’d been so stuck in her pity bubble back that she hadn’t even considered the implications.</p><p>“How long?”</p><p>“Months,” Clint admitted. “It took me months to get back to somewhat normal. I was doing a lot of therapy when I wasn’t at the office. When I wasn’t with you.”</p><p>She’d seen pieces of it, the tired eyes, the more morose days. Those odd times Nat pulled him away from a room for some excuse or another. But she’d never put it all together, never realized the two of them had been looking out for each other in the same way they were taking care of her now.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” she breathed. “I didn’t know.”</p><p>“I didn’t want you to know,” he said, rubbing circles into her hands. “I didn’t want you to worry.”</p><p>Eyes wide with realization that they had both been there on that same journey with each other, she nodded weakly. The guilt was still there, firmly lodged in her throat.</p><p>Had she done enough for him when he needed it? Would she have done more if she’d known?</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?” Her voice was still rough, but she’d do anything to hear his voice over her own internal dialogue at this point. </p><p>And she cared. She wanted to know what he went through, what he shielded from her. And from the look on his face, she could tell he understood. She was looking for a light at the end of the tunnel, some assurance that it wasn’t going to be this bad forever.</p><p>Maybe he could offer that kind of perspective.</p><p>“Now’s a good a time as any, right?” A dark chuckle left his lips as he wrapped his arms around her. “I’m still not sure I remember everything from when Loki…” he trailed off, voice getting quieter. </p><p>He was having a harder time holding her gaze, eyes darting away to corners of the room behind her as he spoke. She grasped his hands a little tighter, sitting quietly as he pieced together the words.</p><p>“But I remember being so scared he was going to send me after Katie, after Nat… or even after you. I just remember fighting so hard against it. I remember when you asked me to train you, I was worried I would crack, slip into that mode and just…” his voice broke, crackling into nothing as they both stared at each other. "Th-there were a lot of nightmares — still are,” he admitted with a sigh.</p><p>She didn’t know what to say, but she felt awful making him go to that place, wondering if her current state would send him back there.</p><p>“I’m so sorry, you shouldn’t have had to—“</p><p>“No, it’s OK,” he soothed. “I’m telling you because I don’t want you to think you have to hide any of it from me,” Clint told her, as if hearing her thoughts. “We’re in this together, and I’m here however you need me. Some days will be good, and some days will be more like this. And that’s OK.”</p><p>Tracing lines up his arms, she could feel the skin underneath twitch and taut under her touch. It was hard to meet his eyes, knowing what he went through, and knowing there might still be tears there. She was lost in thought, still wrestling with the idea of opening up to anyone further.</p><p>It was terrifying, having yourself laid raw like this in front of someone.</p><p>Her hands were reaching for something, snaking around his waist in an effort to pull him closer. Clint got the hint, moving to lean himself against the headboard, so she could curl in him under his arm. He planted a kiss in her hair, not letting go of her hand. The rise and fall of his chest reminded her to breathe.</p><p>“Talk me through it, Dani,” that quiet insistence coming through full force. “Hit me with it, whatever you’re worrying about.”</p><p>Her gaze fixed firmly on the sheets beneath her, she started, “I feel guilty. You’ve already been through so much, and you didn’t sign up for this. Not me like <i>this</i>. Not brain injury me.”</p><p>“I signed up for you, Dani,” he said firmly, not quite as forceful as Nat earlier. “If anything, what I went through helps me see <i>you</i>. All of you, no matter what. Whether you’re having an amazing day, or going through something like this… or picking fights with Tony.”</p><p>She chuckled, a little more hollow than usual, but she could tell he took it as a win. </p><p>With all of their cards on the table, or at least the ones they held close to the chest, some weight seemed to slip off Dani’s shoulders. That thrumming exhaustion, the buzz under her skin was starting to pick up again.</p><p>“I’m going to need back-up on the last one,” she said softly, eyes feeling heavy again.</p><p>“I’m happy to help,” he said softly, pressing his lips to her hairline. </p><p>She’d never tire of that feeling. Selfishly, she never wanted to let it go.</p><p>“I promise I’ll get better,” she said as if it would have made a difference to the man beside her.</p><p>“I know, darlin’,” he replied, his mind long made up.</p><p>

</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aiming for the next update to go up on Wednesday.</p><p>Hope you're well and hanging in there.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>July 4, 2014</b>
</p><p>Dani was tired.</p><p>And angry, no thanks to Tony blowing up at her that morning for leaving the tower for coffee with Clint the day before. He’d spent a solid ten minutes berating her for not taking a security detail along with them. Apparently <i>Clint</i>, marksman and literal assassin, wasn’t enough protection.</p><p>But she knew it was classic Stark deflection from the get-go.</p><p>What Tony was <i>really</i> mad about was that today she was leaving the tower and staying at Clint’s for the night because he was throwing his annual red, white and blue party. </p><p>Yeah, let that sink in.</p><p>Perhaps he felt (rightly) guilty, or perhaps he was just big-brother-concerned and was just taking it out on her, but either way, it didn’t make her feel any better about being treated like a teenager sneaking out to a party in the middle of the night. Especially when she was being completely honest and open with him as to why she couldn’t stay in the building.</p><p>Dani used to joke it was probably for the best he’d missed her in her teen years, but she didn’t expect for him to make it up to her now.</p><p>So, she was now on her way to Brooklyn in a black, bulletproof SUV of course, because Tony insisted on a full escort. Two men in tac gear were in the front seats, vigilant and completely silent as they drove. </p><p>They’d loaded up in the parking garage to avoid being spotted by photographers. While the media machine had slowed down on coverage of her once she’d left the hospital, she didn’t want to risk drawing unnecessary attention to herself.</p><p>“Miss Fisher?”</p><p>The guard in the passenger seat, Michael (she’d insisted on using her first name too, but they had other ideas), looked back at her as she leaned her head against the headrest in front of her. He’d thankfully learned not to ask if she was OK after his first week. It had only taken seven days of her getting progressively more annoyed by the question before he finally dropped it. </p><p>But still, she knew was he was asking.</p><p>“I’m just tired,” she said plainly, conveniently missing the usual ‘I’m fine’ preface, but he didn’t seem to notice. </p><p>If he did, he didn’t call her on it.</p><p>Truthfully, her head was pounding already, thoughts swimming as she tried to push back the frustration. She shifted back in her seat, staring at the passing pedestrians and vehicles longingly. </p><p>Dani would do anything to go back to how things were before. How easily she could get around the city, flit about freely on errands and outings. Spending a beautiful day exploring Brooklyn or Central Park. She’d give almost anything to be able to do that — but between Tony and her own anxieties around leaving the tower, that likely wouldn’t happen anytime soon.</p><p>“Are you both sticking around overnight?” She asked lightly, figuring she should warn Clint if they were going to be hanging around his building.</p><p>“I’ll be covering the fire escape, and Dom will take the halls,” Michael said a little gruffly.</p><p>Dani gave a nod, still uneasy about the whole thing. Tonight was a test, for her, for them and for Tony, on whether she could start acting like a normal human being in this small capacity. </p><p>Baby steps, she reminded herself. </p><p>By the time she’d arrived at Clint’s place that day, already exhausted with full security detail in tow, she was beyond frustrated. She was getting to the end of tapering off her pain meds. Her chest ached. Her abdomen prickled. Her brother was being kind of an overbearing asshole.</p><p>All she had to do once she got in the door was take off her shoes. </p><p>It was such a tiny, insignificant little thing.</p><p>Her anger was locked and loaded before Clint gestured down to her feet and asked, “Do you want me to—?”</p><p>It was stupid. It was the smallest gesture. It was even a nice one.</p><p>But somehow it just made Dani explode.</p><p>“I don’t need you to do everything for me,” she snapped, suddenly feeling quite useless. “I’m not made of glass.”</p><p>He immediately retracted at her tone, completely shrinking into himself as she seethed.</p><p><i>Fuck</i>.</p><p>The pained expression made her stomach lurch in the silence that followed. </p><p>Why did she always have to push people away? Why couldn’t she just accept the help and stop hurting people she cared about? Why was this still so raw?</p><p>Dani scrubbed her face with her hands, not caring about the foundation that was now long gone. She was trying to rub away the shame and guilt that were taking over her insides, screaming in her skull.</p><p>“Shit, I’m sorry, Clint. I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have…” her voice broke off mid-sentence, and she didn’t have the words to finish.</p><p>She couldn’t even look at him. How could she face him after taking that out on him? </p><p>“It’s OK, Dani,” he told her softly, hands planted in his pockets as he shuffled slightly. </p><p>She shook her head, pulling him into an apologetic hug, arms wrapped around his as he stood against her.</p><p>“No, you didn’t deserve that,” she sighed, running her fingers through his hair, trying to soften his tense stance as well as ground herself. “I’m just tired.”</p><p>His arms wrapped around her waist gently, careful not to put too much pressure on her and she leaned into his touch. He tucked his chin into the crook of her neck and pressed a quick kiss to the exposed skin there.</p><p>“That’s code for Tony’s being an asshole right?” Clint had a playful smirk on his face as he pulled out of the embrace. “Just so I can keep up with the lingo.”</p><p>The corner of her lips tilted up at the dig, relief flooding through her at the first sign of smartassery.</p><p>“Yeah, that’s exactly what that’s code for. Freaked out at me over yesterday. There’s agents outside by the way,” she added, pointing to the front door and the windows.</p><p>“Aw, really?” Clint groaned. “I get being safe, but geez…”</p><p>“Chaperones,” she groaned. “I just remembered, he called them <i>chaperones</i>.”</p><p>Clint pulled a face as Dani finished getting her shoes off, holding back the wince as the skin around her wound stretched. It was then that she realized she had clearly interrupted him — the TV was still on, and a half-eaten bowl of popcorn sat on the coffee table.</p><p>“What are you watching?” Dani shrugged towards the TV.</p><p>Clint’s entire face lit up, “John Wayne marathon. Can we?”</p><p>She barked a laugh and headed towards the couch, getting herself comfortable before he sat down beside her.</p><p>“You <i>would</i> be a John Wayne fan,” she snorted.</p><p>“Most famous person to come out of Iowa,” he explained, casually putting his arm around her.</p><p>She smiled, “Besides you.”</p><p>He didn’t acknowledge her smooth line with a word, he simple pulled her into a kiss. Digging her fingers into the fabric of his shirt, he framed her face with his hands to deepen in. Pulling back a few inches they both caught their breath. </p><p>She quietly made a note to herself to compliment him more often if this was going to be the result. </p><p>Clint gave her a lopsided smile, “You’re the best.”</p><p>They managed to make it through an entire movie before chatter from outside Clint’s apartment door interrupted them. Thinking it was security harassing some poor unsuspecting resident, Dani was halfway off the couch before Clint grabbed her arm and pointed to his ear.</p><p>Dani could just make out the voices.</p><p>“And you are?” Dom’s deep voice rumbled.</p><p>“I’m Hawkeye,” a brighter tone chirped.</p><p>“Isn’t he inside?”</p><p>All Dani could hear was a loud sigh.</p><p>The reply came out as (almost) a whine, “The <i>other</i> Hawkeye.”</p><p>Chuckling from beside her, Clint decided to save her, jumping up and walking towards the noise.</p><p>“She’s good, man. Official dog walker,” he called out through the door.</p><p>A jingle of keys sent the lock clicking and a bright-eyed black-haired Kate Bishop walking through his front door holding Lucky. The dog immediately bounded over to Clint, jumping up to lick at his face.</p><p>“Excuse you. I consider this co-parenting,” she quipped. “Heavy on the me and less on the you.”</p><p>It took her a moment to realize Dani was in the room, but when she found her sitting on the couch, her eyes lit up.</p><p>“Hey, she lives!” Kate exclaimed with a fond smile.</p><p>Clint’s tone was much more stern, face serious, “Kate.”</p><p>Kate grimaced, “Sorry. Too soon?”</p><p>“Too soon.”</p><p>“It’s OK,” Dani placated, knowing what she meant. “It’s good to see you, Kate. Thank you for the flowers, by the way,” she added, fondly remembering the beautiful purple arrangement she’d sent.</p><p>Dani liked Kate; she was a breath of fresh air compared to the strait-laced agents, medical professionals and tower security she’d been around lately. It was actually refreshing to be around someone who didn’t feel the need to ‘handle with care.’</p><p>“Aw, it was nothing,” she replied with a soft smile. “Just glad to see you’re feeling better. You <i>are</i> feeling better, right?”</p><p>Dani laughed, “I am.”</p><p>“You going out tonight?” Clint asked the youngest of the three.</p><p>“Not sure,” Kate replied noncommittally.</p><p>Dani couldn’t tell if it was because she didn’t want Clint to know her plans or if she felt bad talking about them in front of her after being chastised. Either way, Clint seemed to get a little more fatherly every time she saw the two together, so she figured they should have their moment.</p><p>“Wanna stay for dinner? It’s on Tony. We were just going to order in,” Dani offered.</p><p>“Tony <i>Stark</i>?” Kate asked as Clint nodded. “And Tony Stark is paying for dinner because?”</p><p>“He’s throwing a big Fourth of July party like an asshole after his sister, Dani, got attacked at his last party two months ago,” Dani shot Clint a look, but he shrugged. “What? It’s true.”</p><p>She sighed, he wasn’t wrong, but still, it wasn’t her life to live or choice to make.</p><p>“Tony throws parties so he has an excuse to drink, surround himself with people and not deal with his feelings,” Dani sighed. “He’s entitled to his coping mechanisms. I just don’t have to stay the night at the tower when he chooses to do so.”</p><p>Kate snuck Clint a wide-eyed look.</p><p>“Yeah, better not to go there,” he groused.</p><p>Several classic cowboy flicks and a lot of take-out later, Kate left to meet her friends, asking Dani to personally thank Tony for “futzing up that bad.” Oh, and dinner. </p><p>The sun was starting to set, and with no plans to the leave the apartment, she decided to change into her pyjamas so they could camp out on the couch for a little longer. She managed to peel herself out of her clothes without incident, slipping into one’s of Clint’s shirts and some light cotton shorts.</p><p>It was nice to look down and not see the bruising on her legs anymore. Now she was down the scars, which were getting to be a little harder to hide in the summer months. She’d started to catch herself tracing the raised edges on her skin absentmindedly, still getting used to the idea they’d be there forever.</p><p>But she was nervous of what they would heal into. Would she have to wear turtlenecks forever? Would she always catch a glimpse in every passing mirror of the remnants of that awful night?</p><p>Would Clint look at her differently?</p><p>Even now, he struggled with how to approach it. The sneaky glances at jagged lines peeking out from hemlines. The way he always locked his eyes to her own when they were alone. Her heart sunk at the thought of him feeling awkward around her body, even though she knew him well enough to know it was never really like that.</p><p>“Dan? You OK up there? Need help?” Clint called up from the lower level.</p><p>“Yeah,” she replied, straightening out her vocal cords with a cough. “Sorry, just got distracted.”</p><p>“Well, whatever you do, don’t look in the third drawer from the top.”</p><p>If that wasn’t an invitation, she didn’t know what was.</p><p>With a raise of her eyebrow, she waltzed over to the dresser and pulled open the drawer in question, finding a navy velvet box. Clint was halfway up the stairs as she pulled it out and stared at him.</p><p>“What—?”</p><p>“Open it,” he had a small smile on his face as he stood at the top of the stairs</p><p>Inside sat a silver bracelet, long enough to wrap around her wrist several times. In the middle was a shiny silver arrow, the shaft in line with the rest of the strand.</p><p>“It’s beautiful,” she said in awe as she traced the tiny fletching with her fingertip. “But why—?”</p><p>“This was going to come with some long, awkward conversation about how we want to define <i>this</i>,” he said, looking a little nervous. “Full disclosure, I’ve been married before, and I <i>sucked</i> at being married, but I don’t want to go without you,” he was starting to ramble, eyes darting between her face and the box in her hands. </p><p>The thought of bashful Clint set a soft smile on her lips. </p><p>“So, yeah. I couldn’t imagine the last few years of my life without you in it. If you’ll have me — I mean, I assume we’re on the same page here,” he looked a little concerned as he spoke. “If I’m way off base—“</p><p>“You’re not, Clint,” Dani said with a chuckle. “And I know. Bobbi told me, kind of.”</p><p>He looked a little confused, but much more relieved at her words.</p><p>She went on, “She also said you’re a good man, and I have to agree. You’re the only one I want. I want you.”</p><p>He was halfway to her when she set the box down on the nightstand and wound her arms around his neck, pulling him down, closer. Her body melded to his, fingertips massaging the nape of his neck. It started as a sweet, chaste kiss, but quickly turned bruising as he curled his fingers into her hair and deepened it. </p><p>It was a total free-fall of sensations that she could have lost herself to forever. The drop at the top of a rollercoaster, that reckless abandon that comes with a good adrenaline rush. </p><p>Whatever this feeling was, Dani knew was that she wanted more.</p><p>His fingers splayed on her bare back, quickly slipping under the loose shirt to explore the skin there. He walked her toward the bed, lifting her slightly to lay them both down without breaking the kiss. Clint’s hands roamed, tracing light patterns as the kiss slowed, both needing to catch their breath. </p><p>She propped her head on her hand and looked up at him just to see if he had the same dazed expression she could feel on herself. She felt the tiniest bit smug when he did.</p><p>“So, dating?” he asked breathlessly.</p><p>“Dating. Officially,” she threw in for good measure, knowing they’d basically held that status since that day in the parking lot.</p><p>“Do you want me to…?” he motioned towards the box and her arm, making her quickly nod.</p><p>He carefully slipped and wrapped it around her wrist, clipping it into place.</p><p>“There’s no secret Tony-level tracking device in this, right?” she said with a playful smirk.</p><p>Though somewhere in the back of her head, she seriously wondered.</p><p>Clint snorted, “If there was, he’d definitely be the one giving it to you. Has that man ever backed down from being credited for something?”</p><p>She tilted her head in concession, staring down at the silver strands shimmering in the light.</p><p>“You didn’t have to get me anything,” she said softly.</p><p>“I wanted to,” he defended, puffing out his chest slightly. “It’s as much for you as for me. I’m a selfish guy; I want to tell everyone you’re mine.”</p><p>“And you’re <i>mine</i>,” Dani punctuated with a kiss. “You royally fucked up that one. Do you know what you got yourself into?”</p><p>He grinned, mapping her cheekbone with his thumb.</p><p>“Hm. Well, <i>I</i> think I lucked out. I think you’re the one who fucked up,” Clint challenged.</p><p>“I told you that you were all the trouble I could handle, Clint Barton,” Dani mused with a smile. “And I’m a woman of my word.”</p><p>With that, they headed downstairs to the couch, being sure to spend commercial breaks so wrapped up in each other that they completely lost track of time. It wasn’t until the fireworks started going off that they realized it was even dark outside.</p><p>It’s that night Dani has her first full-blown nightmare in Clint’s presence. Not of the attack at the restaurant. Not of The Incident. She wakes up all clammy skinned and practically screaming, thinking she’s still on the streets of Harlem. </p><p>It’s strange how trauma tends to dredge up everything, even those things she was so sure were already dead and buried.</p><p>She doesn’t know if it’s the armed guards outside, or the fireworks, or Clint being there in bed beside her. Maybe it’s all of the above. But somehow that memory doesn’t seem so distant anymore.</p><p>Dani didn’t get back to sleep after that. Not after Clint wakes her and holds her and whispers assurances that she’s safe and everything’s going to be fine. She closed her eyes and tried, but the flashes of memories and what ifs racing through her thoughts were too much to quiet.</p><p>She tried to focus on her breath.</p><p>She stayed awake and listened to Clint’s steady breathing. She felt the familiar hand holding hers for dear life. She watched for the guard on the fire escape, only catching his shadow once. She heard the crackle of fireworks in the sky above. And she tasted the bitter aftertaste of the tears she’d shed in her nightmare state.</p><p>She wonders how many times Natasha had done this for him. How many times he’d have to do it for Dani. How many more of these they’d both have to handle between the two of them. She knows damn well none of them are going to be able to do this alone.</p><p>At least not well, and not for very long.</p><p>And when sunlight streams through the windows, if there’s anything she’s sure of, it’s that she can’t give up. </p><p>Not on this, not on them and most of all, not on herself.</p><p>

</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I really loved this scene. It was a lot of fun to write, so I hope you enjoyed it too.</p><p>I'm aiming for a Friday or Saturday update.<br/>Hoping to get back to writing some more one-shots since my hell week at work is tapering off.</p><p>And as always, I hope you're all safe and well.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>June 4, 2011</b>
</p><p>Harlem was on fire.</p><p>The medical team was flanked by SHIELD agents in black uniforms, armed to the hilt. Dani shadowed a few doctors that night, learning quickly and trying to take note of how they scrappily cobbled together care.</p><p>They wove their way through the car fires and broken buildings, scattering to assist the injury, to confirm the dead. It was quick and dirty; just trying to get as many people out of the way as possible, even if that meant they were limping. As long as they were breathing, as long as they weren’t about to bleed out.</p><p>There were agents digging people out of collapsed buildings, and mothers crying over children lying limp in their arms. Explosions rocked the earth, maybe just a block away.</p><p>This was her second week on the job, and while she didn’t know it then, Clint Barton didn’t stray far from her that night. She’d learn later that it was unusual for agents to pair up with the medical team that closely, that it was more about defending the herd than the one. But even that night she’d felt his eyes on her, felt him squeeze her shoulder in reassurance as she brushed the sweat off her brow and moved onto the next patient.</p><p>But even then, she knew Clint Barton protected his own.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>August 1, 2014</b>
</p><p>“Can we talk?”</p><p>Dani turned away from her kitchen sink to face him, offering a quizzical look and a hope that she’d somehow misheard him. When she realized she hadn’t, she sighed, throwing down the dishtowel she’d been holding.</p><p>“Clint, no where in the history of relationships has that line ever led to something good,” she groaned.</p><p>He looked taken aback by her reaction, eyebrows shooting up as he hissed, “Ah <i>shit</i>. I’m really bad at this.”</p><p>She bit her lower lip, half to hold back a laugh and half to stop herself from asking what the hell he was thinking. Instead, she settled on indulging him. </p><p>“Bad at what?”</p><p>“Relationships, communication, the works,” he chuckled humourlessly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s nothin—it’s not like <i>that</i>.”</p><p>She looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to dig the hole deeper, honestly.</p><p>“Um,” he rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, with what happened in D.C.—” insert him casually glossing over what happened here in New York “—I started thinking we should probably have an emergency plan. Just in case.”</p><p>Well, that’s not where Dani was expecting this conversation to go. Did Tony ask him for this? Is this some extension of the house arrest he had tried to keep her under? Now she was suspicious. And scared, scared that he was doing this for a reason. That there was some case or person out there he’d gotten wind of that he couldn’t tell her about.</p><p>This whole conversation started with what sounded like a bad intro to a break-up, and the more Clint talked without actually saying anything, the more she wondered if it was better or worse than what she’d expected.</p><p>“What kind of plan are we talking about?” She tried to keep her voice level, but there was the slightest hitch in her tone.</p><p>“There’s a house.”</p><p>Blood was thumping in her ears.</p><p>“A house?”</p><p>Eyes wide as she started settling into where this was headed. She froze in place at the realization.</p><p>“A safe house,” he explained. “It’s all kitted out. I want you to go there if anything ever happens.”</p><p>Biting down on her lip, harder than she meant to, Dani tried to hold back the nausea settling in the pit of her stomach. It lurched at the thought of having to need an escape, at the thought of going through another D.C., or worse yet, another attack.</p><p>On either of them, she realized. On any of the team.</p><p>Logically, she knew this could be a possibility. Her friends were Avengers, they went on missions, they saved people, sometimes they got hurt. Sure, that was easy enough to process. But they also got death threats, stalkers, media following their every move. There were thousands of reasons why she might need to make a hasty exit again one day and she hated every single one of them.</p><p>What she hated more was that he was so focussed on <i>her</i> that it sounded like he didn’t factor <i>himself</i> in his emergency preparedness plan.</p><p>She could barely bring her voice above a whisper, “And you’ll meet me?”</p><p>She sent him a panicked look, not sure how long she could hold it together. </p><p>He hesitated before nodding, sending her heart into a flurry and that familiar thumping sound louder still. His eyes darted between her face and her hands, and following his gaze, she could see the telltale white knuckles of the fists her fingers had formed.</p><p>The questions tumbled out of her mouth before she could stop them, “Is everything OK? Is someone coming after us? Where is this coming from?”</p><p>“Dan,” he soothed, crossing the room to meet her. “I just want you to be safe. I didn’t mean to… I didn’t realize you would…”</p><p>Defeated by verbal and settling on tactile instead. He wrapped her up in his arms, her arm to his chest as he kissed her shoulder. Threading her fingers through his, she squeezed them tightly and let out a shuddering breath.</p><p>“I’m sorry for scaring you,” he sighed into her skin. “This isn’t because there’s a specific threat, it’s just been on my mind a lot lately. You know all I want is for you to be OK, to be safe, to have options if anything does happen. Dani, I just need you to tell me that you’ll be there. It’ll… I’ll sleep better at night just knowing.”</p><p>She searched his eyes and saw the fear there, that same cold blue she could swim in just staring back at her.</p><p>“I need to know that you’ll be there, Clint,” she countered with her strongest voice. “I’m not safe if you’re not there. And I don’t mean knowing how to shoot a gun or get out of a hold.”</p><p>“I know,” he admitted quietly. “You know if there’s any way I can, I will be.”</p><p>It might have been the truth, but it was <i>so</i> not what she needed to hear. Dani knew she was avoiding making promises, but she was too uncomfortable with this whole idea to just blindly agree to something.</p><p>“Is this normal for people dating? Having emergency escape plans?” she wondered aloud.</p><p>She knew the unsatisfying answer before he’d even opened his mouth to respond.</p><p>“There isn’t exactly a manual for this. Kind of have to make it up as we go along,” Clint’s voice was still a little gruff. “And even if there was, you and I both know I’d never read it.”</p><p>She knew he was just trying to lighten up the tone, but she couldn’t really smile. </p><p>Dani nearly jolted out of her skin when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Clint quickly read the screen and groaned.</p><p>“Wheels up in ten,” he looked at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, darlin’. We can talk about this more when I get back, OK?”</p><p>She nodded, kissing him goodbye. He was out of her suite in 60 seconds flat, leaving her laid out on her bed staring at the ceiling. Still feeling a little jittery after the unresolved talk, she knew that if she lay there any longer she was going to start spiralling.</p><p>And she really didn’t feel like throwing herself a pity party right now.</p><p>A couple deep breaths later, she was tugging on her leggings and trying to find her yoga mat. She had tossed it in the back of her closet, somewhere with the her winter jackets when she realized she’d be out of commission for a while. But now she was cleared for exercise and she was ready to start making good decisions again. </p><p>If by good decisions she meant using exercise as a distraction tactic.</p><p>Making her way to the common floor, something she’d started to do more often lately, she peeked into the gym to find Sam curling weights in front of the mirror.</p><p>“What’s up, buttercup?” he called out with a smile. She tried to match it, but based on his expression it came out more of a grimace because he quickly added, “That good, huh?”</p><p>She sighed, leaning her rolled-up mat against the wall and sitting on the bench in front of him. Maybe she should run this by him, see if she was just overreacting. He looked at her expectantly.</p><p>“Clint just rolled out a whole ‘emergency plan’ and I don’t know how to feel about it,” she admitted to the floor, sneaking a glance in Sam’s direction to try and gauge his response. “And he just left for a mission so I’m left sitting here stewing about it.”</p><p>“Like a whole get out of dodge situation?”</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>“I think more people than just Clint have been having those kinds of conversations lately,” Sam said knowingly. “I know you weren’t quite conscious those first couple days in the hospital, but there was a lot of talk. And not strictly about you.”</p><p>Dani wasn’t sure if he was hinting at the Tony and Pepper situation or something else, but either way it was a little comforting to know this wasn’t just because she was the weakest link in the tower or anything.</p><p>“Is it weird that it frustrates me? That we <i>need</i> to have a plan in the first place?” she asked Sam.</p><p>He replied with a low whistle, “I mean, it’s kind of a bigger question, right? Planning for the future is a big step in a relationship. Did he <i>ask</i> you or <i>tell</i> you?”</p><p>“I don’t know if he even got that far… But I guess it was more of a tell than an ask,” she said flatly.</p><p>His response surprised her, “Would your reaction have changed if he’d asked instead?”</p><p>That question stopped her thoughts dead in their tracks. Until Sam had mentioned it, she hadn’t even thought about in the relationship context, as a logical next step of being the partner of a spy, an <i>Avenger</i>. </p><p>Suddenly she realized this was a bigger conversation than she’d initially treated it as. She trusted Clint more than anyone else, and he’d proven that trust time and time again. He was planning a future for <i>them</i>. He wasn’t thinking about himself because his participation was implied. </p><p>Wasn’t the smart thing to do in a relationship is figure out boundaries? Contingency plans? Safety issues?</p><p>“Probably not… I trust him, I just…” she struggled to get the words out, realizing she’d acted on instinct and not logic. “Shit, now I feel like an asshole.”</p><p>She hung her head in her hands in defeat. Yep, totally an asshole.</p><p>“Hey, there’s no one right way to react to something like that. Especially not after what you’ve been through,” he comforted, patting a hand on her shoulder. “You might want to ask yourself <i>why</i> you feel that way. Whether it’s the idea that you might need it, or if he overstepped in the way he told you, or if it’s just that you’re just having a shitty day,” he broke off into a half-smile.</p><p>Try a shitty <i>year</i>.</p><p>He continued in lieu of silence, “I mean, whatever it is, you’re talking about it and not just internalizing. That’s a good start.”</p><p>“More than I would have done before,” she said softly, looking up at him.</p><p>“That’s a good perspective. Listen, I know your last go at ‘therapy,’” Sam’s air quotes were much more cynical than Dani expected, “was terrible, but if you think you’re ready, I know some professionals that people like us can trust.”</p><p>People like us. The words felt foreign to her.</p><p>It was still weird to know that she was a part of this now too. As much as she liked to think about it as superheroes and the regular people around them, this year had taught her that she was at risk just as much as them. Sometimes more.</p><p>“Or, you know, I’m around if you just want to talk.”</p><p>“Appreciate it, Sam,” she gave him a real smile. “It’s just a lot, you know?”</p><p>“I hear you. Half of what happened in the last year would be enough for most people to run screaming,” he joked cautiously, watching for her reaction. “But otherwise, you doing OK?”</p><p>“It was um,” she took in a deep breath, looking him in the eye as she spoke. “It was rough, but yeah, yeah. I think I’m getting there.” </p><p>He patted her on the arm, “That’s what it’s all about. One day at a time.”</p><p>The corner of her lip quirked up as she nodded and gave him a slight wave as he left the weight room. </p><p>She took her time getting set up in the studio, laying down her mat and grabbing a couple blocks from the bins against the wall. It was a slow session, taking more modifications than she even thought she’d have to, but she managed to get through most of a flow.</p><p>It wasn’t until she was showered and back in her suite that her phone buzzed.</p><p>
  <i>”ETA 1hr. Debrief + then your place?”</i>
</p><p>She messaged him back to confirm and continued getting dressed. Sitting on the edge of the couch, her knee was bouncing again in anticipation. She was always a little restless when he was off on missions, even without the thought of having to continue this adult conversation that she wished neither of them had to entertain.</p><p>Normally she could distract herself with others, with physical therapy, appointments, but the more she was getting back to herself and her typical stamina, the more restless she was becoming. </p><p>She’d already told Sam last week that she was ready to meet the team at the local VA. Anything to distract herself from all this time she had on her hands while she figured out some sort of long term plan.</p><p>The door clicked open and Clint limped through the door, wincing and favouring his left side.</p><p>“You didn’t mention you had to stop at medical,” she frowned as she jogged over to meet him. “Are you OK?”</p><p>“'Tis but a flesh wound,” he murmured, to which she sighed. “What? Bad reference?”</p><p>She gingerly wrapped her arms around his midsection, lightly leaning her head against his chest before looking up at him with a light glare.</p><p>“Bad reference.”</p><p>“Sorry,” he chuckled, planting a kiss in her hair. “How are you doing?”</p><p>“I’ve uh, been thinking about what you said,” she admitted, guiding him toward the couch so he could get off his feet. “I’m sorry I freaked out earlier, it just brought up some memories. And it just… just reminded me of how dangerous this job can be. I don’t want to lose you.”</p><p>“I don’t want to lose you either, Dan. You know I’d do anything to make sure that didn’t happen,” he punctuated by clasping her hand. “So would the rest of the team.”</p><p>“I know,” she gave a dim smile. “I’ll do it, whatever the plan is. I trust you.” </p><p>He nodded with a relieved expression, face hardening slightly as he started to explain, “I’m going to give you a few ways to get the coordinates, but it’s going to take a little memorization and some sneaking.” </p><p>She nodded, trying to take everything in as he listed off the different ways she could get the location details, the different ways it’d be coded or hidden somewhere that she’d be able to access in an emergency. Secret enough that bad actors couldn’t get their hands on them if they stole something of hers, but easy enough that she could remember how to get to them in a high-stress situation.</p><p>“Once you have that, you just need to get there. Don’t tell security, don’t tell anyone,” he squeezed her hands, eyes narrowing slightly. “We won’t know if they’re compromised or who we can trust, so I need you to grab one of Tony’s cars, one they don’t know you can drive and just get the hell out of the city.”</p><p>“How far is it?”</p><p>“About four hours,” he said vaguely, “if you do the limit, which you should. Don’t stand out anymore than you have to. Just like last time. The place is biometrically locked — pulled some strings from my spy days — so you’ll have no issue getting in once you get there,” he explained. “It’ll have everything you need. Weapons, food. It’s the Fort Knox of safe houses.”</p><p>“And you did this all by yourself?”</p><p>It was hard to believe this whole operation had gone unnoticed by anyone else.</p><p>“Mostly.” He nodded before asking, “Are you sure you’re OK with this? You can tell me if you’re not.”</p><p>She offered him the ghost of a smile at the thought of him putting this all together.</p><p>“It just kind of scared me that you’ve been working on this behind the scenes and I had no idea. Makes me think the worst, you know? How long have you been planning this?” She asked softly, ironing over any leftover anger or frustration in her voice.</p><p>“Since Loki,” he admitted, looking down at his lap. “I needed something to distract me, to make me feel a little less like I was at the total mercy of some space asshole.”</p><p>Quiet awe overtook her as she realized Sam was right; this conversation was a whole lot bigger than her. She took one of his hands in hers, trailing her fingertips over the veins, knuckles and scrapes there. Grateful that he was opening up to her about things like this.</p><p>Thankful they could talk freely about the harder parts of the job for once.</p><p>“So this was originally for you?”</p><p>He shook his head, “It was mostly for Nat, Kate and you. So you’d have the option if something happened. Nat’s already been there — she helped with some of the setup.”</p><p>“And Kate?” he brows raised at the thought of him keeping something from his protégé.</p><p>“She knows there’s a plan and how to find the coordinates if she needs them. She also knows to get you if it ever comes to it.”</p><p>Her breath hitched, “Get me?”</p><p>His left arm wrapped around her hips, playing with the hem of her shirt and catching the skin underneath with his fingertips. He wound her closer to him, careful to avoid the bruising on his body.</p><p>“You three are the only ones I trust with <i>everything</i>. We’re all in this together, Dan,” his blue eyes looked at her, pleading almost. “Takes a village and all that.”</p><p>She stared at him, stunned by this admission, this softness. He took a horrible situation, a total loss of control and turned it into an action plan to protect the people he loved — yeah, that was definitely the right word for it. </p><p>She couldn’t put into words how proud of him she was.</p><p>“You’re something else, Clint Barton.”</p><p>

</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aiming to have the next chapter up on Wednesday or Thursday.</p><p>Also, this chapter brings this series to 100k words! Thank you so much to everyone who's still reading along. I appreciate every kudos, comment, subscriber, bookmark and reader ❤️</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>August 29, 2014</b>
</p><p>It was time to get out of the city for a bit.</p><p>Or at least, that’s what Tony seemed to think. He’d planned a Labour Day weekend away with the team, to some cabin he had upstate. </p><p>Honestly, Dani had stopped listening as soon as he said Clint could come. Not that he and her brother had been actively talking to each other or anything, but they’d made it to the point where they could be in the same room now, at least. It’d only taken three and a half months.</p><p>Her weekend bag was packed and ready to go at the door, including a set of work-out clothes since she’d finally been cleared to get back to running. Free of bandages, check-ups and all-too frequent physical therapy appointments, it felt like she was finally getting back to herself again.</p><p>“Did you get everything?” Clint had his own bag slung over his shoulder</p><p>They’d been spending about half their time at Clint’s place when he wasn’t away on missions, the other half in the tower. One small perk of being under Tony’s roof was being able to wake up to Clint in her bed when he came in late (or super early) from missions.</p><p>Considering all the mileage he’d been putting on the QuinJet lately, it was a small mercy.</p><p>And otherwise, she’d kept herself busy with trying to set up a private practice, volunteering her services at the local VA once a week, and forcing herself out of her suite on lunch dates and coffee with friends. The VA had been especially great; while they didn’t always need a physical therapist on-site, Dani was happy to take veterans to and from appointments, deliver meals or even just spend time with them.</p><p>Some days it still felt like she had to trick herself to get out, some days she wanted to hide in a hole and pretend the outside world didn’t exist. But those days were fewer and far between.</p><p>“Yeah, I think I’m good to go. Who’s driving?”</p><p>“Security,” Clint replied with a sigh. “But at least that means we can nap on the way up.”</p><p>Leave it to Tony to pack his guards for a long weekend getaway. She hoped they’d at least get somewhat of a break.</p><p>She picked up her bag off the floor and followed Clint into the hallway, taking the elevator down to the common room floor where they were going to meet everyone. Dani led the way, following the sound of voices coming from the kitchen.</p><p>Her brows furrowed at the angry tones. Whoever it was, they weren’t even trying to keep it down. The pair slowed to a stop, not wanting to interrupt the conversation, but also wanting to overhear it.</p><p>“And you don’t think we’re testing fate here?” Dani recognized that as Steve’s voice.</p><p>“The cabin is fully outfitted. JARVIS, safe room, boobytraps, the whole works,” Tony’s reply was light and airy but slightly sharp.</p><p>There was a beat of silence, and Dani’s mind raced with possibilities in that moment.</p><p>Was he right? Was this too soon?</p><p>“If you’re sure.”</p><p>But Steve didn’t sound convinced. Dani looked back at Clint who squeezed her hand in response.</p><p>“Tony’s sure, Dan,” Clint said, and <i>wow</i> she didn’t expect those words to come out of his mouth in a non-sarcastic context. But she nodded, trying to wipe her face back to neutral as they made themselves known and stepped into the kitchen.</p><p>Sam, Bruce and Nat trailed shortly behind them,</p><p>“Ready to get this show on the road?” Sam asked, clapping his hands together.</p><p>The group nodded, looking expectantly at Tony for instruction.</p><p>“So…why no QuinJet?” Clint asked, clearly not stepping down from his usual role of stirring the pot.</p><p>“What do you think this is, <i>SHIELD</i>? No QuinJet, no work,” Tony explained with a quirk of his eyebrow and an eye roll. “Just good ol’ wholesome American family fun.”</p><p>Dani mirrored his eye roll at that one as Clint snorted, bumping his elbow into hers playfully.</p><p>“Two cars, folks!” Tony continued, unperturbed. “Cap, Sam, Bruce, you’re with me. The other three, you’re with the Rent-A-Cops.”</p><p>Rubbing her forehead to alleviate the newly formed crease there she sighed, “God, Tony. Don’t call Dom and Michael that. Please.”</p><p>Her brother shrugged as she slapped him on the shoulder.</p><p>Two black SUVs were waiting for them in the parking lot, the guards already outside and waiting to help them all with luggage. Once everyone piled into their respective vehicle, they were on the road and ready for the hours-long journey.</p><p>The trio took the backseat. Dani sat in the driver side corner with Clint in the middle and Natasha on the other, the redhead’s legs stretched out over the laps of the other two. </p><p>Nat was asleep before they’d even hit the freeway. </p><p>“You OK? You know, after overhearing that,” Clint asked quietly, not wanting to disturb Nat.</p><p>“Yeah, actually I am,” she admitted with a smile, more confident in her brother than Steve seemed to be. “I think this will be good for everyone.”</p><p>It was true. Something about being away from the prying eyes of the city made her feel more comfortable with going out. Strip away the tourists, the cell phones, the paparazzi and somehow it all felt more normal. She couldn’t blend into a city with millions of people in it, but she was damn well going to try to savour this shred of normalcy as much as she could.</p><p>Leaning her head on Clint’s shoulder, she tuned herself into the bumps and rattles of the drive.</p>
<hr/><p>“We’re here.”</p><p>Dani hadn’t even realized she’d drifted off, rubbing her face as she tried to blink away the sleep. Nat was already up, probably had been for some time, opening the door beside her and ushering them all out. Dom and Michael helped them with the luggage, and they quickly dropped it off in the foyer.</p><p>Sunlight was streaming in through the floor to ceiling windows in the kitchen, looking out on the vast expanse of green and browns.</p><p>The house wasn’t unfamiliar to her, but it’d been years since they last visited. She remembered Tony had set up some targets on the edge of the property, well past the tree line through a worn path. Memories of better days between the two Avengers, clearly. But Clint wasn’t one to waste a good target, so even though they might have been on shaky ground, he’d packed a couple of bows and his quiver (including a couple of his favourite trick arrows) to test out on the property.</p><p>Somewhere behind her, Dani could hear Steve come to the conclusion while staring at Clint’s pile of equipment, “I thought you said no work?”</p><p>But Clint didn’t seem to hear.</p><p>“There’s nothing like an outdoor target range,” he hummed, happily toting his gear into the house. “And since <i>you</i> never want to go shooting — the closest thing I can get in the city — I’m going to take full advantage.”</p><p>It was true, she’d turned down his last three offers to go the shooting range, still not feeling great about the idea. Her gun was left in D.C. with Nat after SHIELD fell — since NYC had a strict gun policy and she was no longer a part of a secret intelligence agency. Since then, she hadn’t really missed it. </p><p>It wasn’t so much the gun, or even that it was a weapon; it was the thought that it was a skill she needed to hone again, the implication she needed to know how to protect herself from threats. </p><p>She knew what he was doing. </p><p>He carefully watched her expression, as if gauging just how much he could get away with pushing.</p><p>“Have you ever shot an arrow before?”</p><p>Her eyebrows quirked, “Am I secretly Merida in my other life? Is that what you’re asking?”</p><p>His lips twisted into a grin at the sound of her even entertaining the idea.</p><p>“Come on, Hunger Games. I’ll help you find your inner archer,” he called over his shoulder as he bounded to the back door.</p><p>She caught up to him in the backyard, looping her arm through the crook of his elbow as they tromped through the grass and past the trees. The clean air was nice, fresh. Smelled like something other than garbage on a beautiful summer day, which was nice. </p><p>More than she could say about the city.</p><p>And Tony was more casual out here. With the property line stretching out much further than they could easily walk, and the whole place rigged with Stark Tech security, he wasn’t forcing her to drag along chaperones every time she left his sight. The fact that he hadn’t forced her to ride with him on the way up was even an improvement.</p><p>Frankly, she’d take Michael and Dom’s quiet company to his in an enclosed space any day.</p><p>Clint had apparently packed a training bow with him, clearly having dreamed this up some time ago. She was thankful considering she knew just how heavy his draw weight was; it was one of the whispers that worked its way around SHIELD if any agent pissed him off. </p><p>The bow felt awkward in her hands, and it took a couple tries for Clint to get her positioned perpendicular to the target. But his hands were gentle as they shifted her hips and upper body, and he explained everything without any judgement.</p><p>“So you’re going to pull back.” </p><p>He helped guide her hand to show her the motion and she could feel the bow tighten in her grasp. </p><p>“Find your anchor point. It’s where you’re going to set your hand on your face to help steady the shot and it’s different for everyone.”</p><p>He pulled her arm more in place and she tried to hold the posture as still as possible.</p><p>“For beginners, they generally suggest the corner of your mouth. Some prefer under the chin,” he explained as he adjusted her again. “But just find one that feels right for you. And breathe.”</p><p>She consciously tried to slow her breathing.</p><p>“Good, now you’re going to exhale, relax your hand and let it fly.”</p><p>Working herself through the motions, she watched the arrow jet through the air towards the target…and it kept flying past, landing somewhere in the grass behind. She chuckled, not really expecting to get it on the first go, but Clint seemed excited by any sort of progress. He got her to try it a few more times until she managed to hit one of the targets; no where near center, but Clint was thrilled.</p><p>“Hey,” he wrapped his arms around her middle, leaning back to lift her off the ground slightly. “You got it!”</p><p>“Clint, that was awful,” she chuckled, unwilling to take his praise as he set her down.</p><p>“Hey, you managed to get the arrow in the air on the first go, <i>and</i> hit a target eventually… and that’s a lot more than most people can say,” he praised with a smirk.</p><p>He framed her face with his hands and pulled her lips to his. She could see the look in his eyes and knew it spelled trouble. Dani laughed at his low standards, “You’re just trying to butter me up, aren’t you?”</p><p>She wasn’t sure if it was his excitement about being able to teach her something, or the embrace, but her heart was pounding in her chest. Dani couldn’t help but take in that sparkle in his eye, the quirk in his grin.</p><p>“Oh, by the way… I think we missed the room tour,” Clint chuckled, <i>completed unrelated</i>. “Wanna go find ours?”</p><p>He was leading her into the house by her hand before she could get a word in, having left the bow in place for Clint to pack up later. They were two steps into the only unclaimed bedroom in the house when Clint picked her up, and she straddled his hips in response, kicking her feet off the ground. The weightlessness didn’t last very long; he dipped her backwards onto the bed and she landed in the soft duvet.</p><p>“Incorrigible,” she hissed with a smile. “I knew you were playing me.”</p><p>He hovered over her, hands planted on either side of her head as she stared up, lost in the ocean blues. Her hands played with his shirt, hanging slightly loose from the angle. Holding his gaze, she watched his eyes wander and take her in.</p><p>“Can you blame a guy?”</p><p>Hands quickly finding his face, they brought it down towards her, lips locking together. His arms encased her, fingers threading through her own above her head as his tongue begged for permission. Clint’s lips drifted, following her jawline until they met the soft skin of her neck, right in the hollow. Right hand leaving hers and skimming over the skin on her side, her breath hitched in her throat. </p><p>She could feel the smirk form on his face.</p><p>“Clint, don’t you dare start something you can’t finish right now,” she scolded as sternly as she could muster.</p><p>Which was hard. It was hard to do anything besides lose herself to the sensation.</p><p>“Why couldn’t we fini—?”</p><p>“Bird boy!” Tony’s voice rang through the house and Dani watched his cocky look get wiped clean off his face.</p><p>“Because Tony is currently conscious and without Pepper in the middle of nowhere, so <i>that</i> was bound to happen,” she laughed at his annoyed expression. “Be nice-ish to my brother. We can carry on where we left off later.”</p><p>“I’m holding you to that.”</p><p>He sighed, walking out the door to try to find Tony. Dani followed shortly behind, running into Natasha in the hallway. A towel in one hand and already dressed for the water, the question was just begging to be asked.</p><p>“You want to take a dip?” Nat motioned to the lakefront on the West end of the property.</p><p>“I didn’t bring a suit,” Dani responded stiffly, shoving her hand in her pockets.</p><p>Not that it wasn’t true, but it wasn’t the whole truth. Dani hated making it awkward; she was so conscious of it in situations like this, when it was really obvious that there was a life before and a life after the attack. </p><p>To her credit, Nat seemed to understand, offering a sympathetic look.</p><p>“No worries,” she said without missing a beat. “I just thought…” she motioned to Dani’s bare shoulders.</p><p>It wasn’t presumptive or accusatory. It was a reflection of the progress Nat had been seeing in Dani lately, and it was oddly comforting. </p><p>She trailed her fingertips across her scars, feeling the pink jagged lines there. Dani had been trying to get used to seeing her scars more, and with a summer as hot as this one, it was hard to wear sleeved clothing. Her collarbone scars were the easiest for her to accept, the shallowest. </p><p>Maybe that’s why it seemed easier to forget they were there.</p><p>The rest were going to take time, she knew that. It wasn’t lost on Dani how peoples’ expressions changed even now at the sight of them, or when her shirt rode up or danced in the breeze. Even now it set a lump in her throat to think of their uncomfortable reactions.</p><p>“I’m working on it,” she replied with a half-smile.</p><p>And so was everyone else.</p><p>"You look good, Dan. Proud of you."</p><p>Nat ruffled her hair and sauntered off to try to convince Bruce, or at least that’s what she seemed to overhear. They <i>had</i> been spending a lot of time together lately.</p><p>Dinner was a barbecue, which Tony took way too much control over (and enjoyment from). For someone who probably never cooked a day in his life growing up, there was something about barbecues that just seemed to light him up from the inside. </p><p>Maybe it was all that pining for a traditional family unit that drew him to these team-building activities. Or maybe it was just because he was having a hard time not having Pepper around. Either option made Dani’s heart clench a little, and she found herself wandering towards him as he casually flipped burgers.</p><p>“Don’t think I don’t know what you did here,” Dani accused.</p><p>He feigned innocence with a dramatic eye flutter, “I have no idea what you mean.”</p><p>“You feel bad for throwing a party that your sister couldn’t come to, so you planned a party that wasn’t <i>called</i> a party out in the middle of nowhere so we could both relax,” Dani explained plainly.</p><p>“I didn’t realize that was an essay question,” Tony murmured, seemingly unimpressed at being found out.</p><p>“Well, whatever you did or didn’t do,” she chuckled. “Thank you. This is really nice.”</p><p>He looked up at her as if to make sure she was being serious. A common Stark problem. When he realized she was, he smiled, not smirked. </p><p>“Anytime, kid.” He looked pensive for a moment before he finally added, “You know, I thought it was going to be you and Rogers there for a while.”</p><p>“You and every North American news outlet,” she snorted. “But nah. Steve’s great, and I’m glad I had him on my side in D.C., but it was never like that. He’s no Clint.”</p><p>Tony looked at her more critically now, analyzing her expression like a human lie detector, “So Katniss turned Cupid, huh?”</p><p>She shrugged, “It’s always been Clint, Tony. Just took me too long to woman up and admit it. The biceps are just a bonus.”</p><p>“I <i>so</i> didn’t need to know that,” he retorted with a grimace. </p><p>“Considering your entire dating history, including performance in bed ranked on a ten point scale is public news, I think you can handle that very tame visual, Tony,” she sniped.</p><p>He took a beat to plate some burgers and dogs, passing them down the queue.</p><p>“So he’s good to you?”</p><p>She tilted her brows at him, side-eyeing him hard.</p><p>“Haven’t you already interrogated him? Run a full check? DNA sample?” she joked, avoiding his question.</p><p>That gave him pause, and his face seemed to soften at her words. She fully expected him to come back with a, ‘no, that’s the next phase,’ or ‘yes, I’ve already had Bruce synthesize five different ways to kill him if he ever crosses you.’ </p><p>But it never came.</p><p>“As long as you’re happy.”</p><p>“That’s it?” Dani asked in disbelief, giving him a skeptical look.</p><p>“That’s it.”</p><p>Dani knew she was pushing it at this point, but she couldn’t let it go. This had been such a hard fought battle on both sides, and while she didn’t always understand why her brother was so against Clint, it was even stranger to see him just give it up now.</p><p>“And what do I owe this sudden change of heart?”</p><p>His eyes subconsciously darted around the room, unable to meet her gaze.</p><p>“Wait, was there some big team intervention I wasn’t informed about? Because I will ask Nat and she’d definitely tell me all the gory—”</p><p>“No,” he sighed, rubbing his temples at the headache her line of questioning was clearly creating. “I’ve just realized that I don’t want to be my dad. I can’t keep pushing people away, especially not you. Especially after everything.”</p><p>Pepper. Of course. There was that heart clench again.</p><p>Even knowing it was going to fall on deaf Tony ears — considering he was in the middle of no where and was running from his problems — she still felt the need to said what didn’t need to be said.</p><p>“Listen, I don’t know what’s going on, and you don’t owe me an explanation,” she told him softly. “But I’m here if you need me, OK?”</p><p>He patted her on the arm and beelined for the bar, apparently all feeling-ed out for the night.</p><p>After dinner, Tony and Sam set up a bonfire in the backyard large enough for them to all gather around. With the only lights nearby coming from the cabin, it was only a couple hours later before the stars made their appearance in the sky above. Dani found her eyes wandering up there, wondering the last time she’d seen them that bright.</p><p>It had probably been almost a decade by now.</p><p>A squeeze from the arm Clint had wrapped around her brought her back to him. The warmth licking her face and him at her side was nice against the cooler night air.</p><p>He leaned down to peck her on the temple, offering a quiet, “You OK?”</p><p>“I wish we could do this more often,” she mused, smiling at Nat stealing Tony’s s’more out from under his nose as he talked to Steve. “You ever think you could do this for real?”</p><p>“Hm?” he mumbled against her skin.</p><p>“Settle down somewhere, get out of the city?”</p><p>“Long distance land-lording? It’s possible,” he chuckled, looking off into the fire. “What about you? What would you do? Get a country house and raise some kids?”</p><p>It wasn’t the usual smart ass tone he usually took to deflect from this line of questioning. Though, in fairness, she’d only seen him react that way when the ask came from someone else. It hadn’t escaped her that he referred to himself as a landlord over an Avenger, and somewhere inside she wondered if he too daydreamed about a simpler life.</p><p>She hummed coyly, “Maybe.”</p><p>Dani couldn’t tell if it was the crackling, dancing fire light playing tricks on her eyes, but she could have sworn she saw an excited glint in Clint’s eyes at her words.</p><p>“I can work with maybe, baby,” Clint winked, but she knew he’d tucked away her response for a later date. “Anything for you.”</p><p>She tucked her head under his chin and looked out to her friends laughing and chatting around the fire.</p><p>Just trying to take it all in so she could always remember this moment.</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi! Quick mid-work check-in for anyone interested in where this is going. </p><p>This work is completely pre-written up to chapter 12, and I’m just finishing up the last two chapters.</p><p>There will be another part to this series, and it’ll be the longest one yet. I’ve actually already started writing it, and the ideas are coming in fast and furious. Estimated final work count for this whole series at completion will probably be nearly 200k.</p><p>All that to say, please continue to expect regular updates 1-2x a week for a while. I'm aiming for Friday or Saturday for the next one.</p><p>Hope you enjoy the ride!<br/>MRT</p>
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<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>November 26, 2014</b>
</p><p>“Come on, Dan. Let’s go!”</p><p>Dani groaned, burrowing her face further into the pillow, as if she could hide from Clint’s insistence. She reluctantly pulled herself upright, leaving the comfort of the warm sheets and blankets on Clint’s bed— <i>their</i> bed, really. </p><p>Lucky had his cold nose against her knee in an instant, tail slapping against the covers.</p><p>“Morning, pup,” she croaked as she scratched his head, voice still rough with morning.</p><p>Tomorrow was Thanksgiving; she should be dreaming of mashed potatoes, turkey, and gravy. Not getting ready to get her ass kicked <i>again</i>. Why did she decide to give up her perfectly good mornings and let Clint train her again?</p><p>Quickly putting on her workout gear, she met Clint downstairs where he’d cleared out enough room and set down mats to spar. Stretching her arms out overhead, Dani cracked her neck and tried to work out some of the kinks from yesterday’s session.</p><p>Their time at the cabin had eased her back into the idea of training. Yes, Clint’s not-so-secret plan worked. </p><p>And now, here she was, feeling a lot less confident about the whole thing. It had been a few weeks back at it, and Dani was finding it harder and harder to remember being good at this. It definitely wasn’t like riding a bike or shooting a gun. This work, this re-education was the kind of thing she knew she had to practice often to retain.</p><p>The still-fresh memory of healing after her concussion was getting in the way more than she liked; she found herself faltering in spots she normally never would have hesitated with before. </p><p>And as much as Clint urged her to get out of her head in those moments, it was a lot harder than she thought it should be.</p><p>“Just like old times,” he said with a smirk.</p><p>She gulped, dreading the memory of her back hitting the mat over and over again in the SHIELD training rooms. </p><p>“I hope not,” she joked, but had fully accepted her fate.</p><p>True to his word, he didn’t go easy on her. By the end of the session, she was drenched with sweat and panting, heading to the upstairs bathroom to shower while Clint worked with some weights. After pulling her wet hair into a quick braid, she was just buttoning up her blouse when he finally made it back upstairs, glistening with sweat and stripping off his shorts. Her eyes lingered a little too long on the peaks and valleys of the muscles.</p><p>“Going into the office?”</p><p>His voice snapped her out of the slight daze, and she forced a small smile on her face.</p><p>“Yeah, I have a couple of appointments,” she replied, pecking him on the lips to avoid getting his sweat all over her work clothes. “Got a new patient.”</p><p>It had felt really good to get back to working, even better to be getting referrals from some of her previous clients. The new cases were enough to get her practice up and running relatively quickly — at least enough to afford her office’s rent, and maybe hire a receptionist in the near future. </p><p>But most of all, it was nice to know she was still trusted among the community, and her shorter client list made background checks and risk assessments manageable. After all, there were likely still ex-SHIELD members of Hydra hidden in plain sight, so she could never be too careful.</p><p>“Wanna celebrate?” he asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.</p><p>As much as she’d love to take him up on it…</p><p>“I don’t think I have that kind of time,” she laughed, looking down at her watch. “I’m stopping by the VA to do some pick ups and drop offs after my appointments, and then I’ll see you tonight, OK?”</p><p>Dani did one more mental check to make sure she had everything before grabbing her bag and heading to the door.</p><p>“You got it, darlin’. Have a good day. Don’t hurt anyone too bad,” he called out from the bathroom. “Unless they deserve it.”</p><p>Dom was already waiting outside the building in the SUV for her, so by the time she pulled into her office in Greenpoint (Tony was none too pleased she wanted to stay in Brooklyn, but that was a whole other battle), she was early. Breaking out the coffee maker to pour them both a cup, she was just pouring out one for each of them when there was a knock on the door.</p><p>She opened it to find a young, bright-eyed brunette — who looked exactly like JARVIS’ file on her — in some distressed denim and a leather jacket.</p><p>“Skye, right? I’m Dr. Fisher.”</p><p>She nodded as she shook her hand, still smiling.</p><p>“Hi! Nice to meet you. I’ve only heard good things,” she chirped before her eyes latched onto the doctor’s wrist. “Ooh, nice bracelet.”</p><p>Dani fingered the silver bracelet fondly, “Thank you.”</p><p>They passed Dom on the way into the exam room, flipping through a magazine in the waiting room as they headed to the back of the office. Skye subtly sized him up as they passed, and Dani wasn’t sure if it was a tactical or personal thing.</p><p>“So you’re a referral? Do you mind me asking who?” Dani asked, trying to break the ice a bit.</p><p>She seemed to stumble there, taking half a beat too long to answer, “A uh, SHIELD…colleague. But he said you were the best of the best.”</p><p>It wasn’t unusual for ex-agents to be reluctant to talk names. Dani wasn’t the only person who’d been targeted after the data dump earlier in the year. Which was also part of the appeal of private practice, being able to protect personal files  — after all, she’d been negatively impacted by the SHIELD leak as well.</p><p>“Well, welcome. I hope I live up to your expectations,” she chuckled nervously. “What brings you to me?”</p><p>The appointment was pretty standard, strains and tension that she’d seen regularly in field agents. Skye seemed nice enough, if not a little secretive. But that wasn’t uncommon. Dani knew better to ask about work or what she did, unless it was directly correlated to their discomfort (though even then, most of them went by the title ‘Contractor’). </p><p>A few things slipped: firearms, training, and mentions of field work, but they mostly made small talk about not-so-personal details while Dani filled out her records. She could feel Skye’s eyes on her as she made notes, and she wasn’t sure if she was being sized up or if there was something she was itching to say.</p><p>Possibly both.</p><p>“So, I’ve gotta ask,” Skye started apprehensively, answering Dani’s mental question. “What’s it like being Tony Stark’s sister?”</p><p>The corner of Dani’s lip quirked up. She was used to this. After all the media attention earlier in the year, she almost expected it at this point.</p><p>“It certainly keeps things interesting. It’s been kind of a crazy year,” Dani admitted as she tilted her head toward the door. “Hence the security.”</p><p>Sky looked a little relieved at the security dig, clearly having wondered about the strange man in the waiting room.</p><p>“Tell me about it,” Skye scoffed, as if she was also ready to write off 2014. “But I can’t even imagine having your whole life out there now.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s definitely weird going from nobody to having paparazzi waiting outside the Tower for me,” she chuckled. “But whose life isn’t weird when they’ve dealt with SHIELD?”</p><p>Skye raised her eyebrows like she was going to add something, but they quickly dropped back into place.</p><p>“Anyway, any other questions for me?”</p><p>The rest of Dani’s work day went without incident. </p><p>She managed to make it to the VA a little early, catching some moments with Sam as he <i>totally</i> wasn’t flirting with the woman at the front desk. Today she was just on courier and driver duty — dropping off meals, medication, and picking up some veterans that needed to get to appointments. </p><p>“Seeing the fam this weekend?” Sam asked as she looked over her pick-up list.</p><p>“Yeah, we’re heading to Malibu tonight. You?”</p><p>“I’m heading out of town for a bit,” he replied vaguely.</p><p>“Another Steve mission?” She asked, raising her brows.</p><p>She caught his brows raise a hair, clearly not expecting for Dani to have put two-and-two together. Shuffling his hands into his coat pockets, he looked like he was considering his response carefully.</p><p>“Just chasing leads.”</p><p>It was no secret that Steve was following up on any leads he could after the events of D.C. It seemed like, between him and Sam, they were out of the tower every other week. Dani could tell it was wearing on both of them; she’d managed to catch some frustrated exchanges in passing. </p><p>She tried her best to check in on both of them when she could, but it was hard to keep track sometimes.</p><p>“Hopefully it doesn’t take up your whole holiday season,” she added softly.</p><p>His eyes looked a little sad at the thought, and she could tell he’d considered that possibility already. Hopefully Steve didn’t burn the poor guy out — he was already doing a lot.</p><p>“Honestly, I’d settle for a Christmas miracle if one of them panned out for once,” he chuckled, trying not to look too sad about it.</p><p>Patting him on the shoulder, she wished him “Good luck.” And she meant it.</p><p>Dom, who was basically her personal chapero— <i>shadow</i> at this point, was mostly silent as they went through the list. He was nice enough, always polite and pleasantly snarky with enough caffeine in him. Truthfully, she’d grown to like him, especially once he started talking a little more like a friend and acting less like a statue.</p><p>They finished the last drop-off and were just heading back when they hit traffic.</p><p>“How’s Nina?” Dani asked Dom. “She getting through that science class alright?”</p><p>She loved hearing him talk about his daughter. The way his face would light up was incredible, so far removed from the stoic man she’d been introduced to months ago.</p><p>He nodded and chuckled, “Yeah, I feel like I’m learning more from her than I ever learned in school myself. I also tend to find a lot more glitter on me.”</p><p>She laughed as he told her about the galaxy model they’d been working on the weekend before, and how he was still picking blue sparkles off his work clothes.</p><p>“Mm I loved science as a kid,” she smiled. “Wife’s good?”</p><p>“Family’s all good. Finally got around to booking a vacation for us all over Christmas,” he smiled.</p><p>“That’s great! Where to?”</p><p>“Ah, just Mexico. All-inclusive.”</p><p>“Oh man, Christmas on the beach sounds amazing.”</p><p>“Better than a trip to the in-laws,” he joked.</p><p>She nodded like she knew, but she suddenly realized she didn’t.</p><p>She didn’t have in-laws— <i>wouldn’t</i> have in-laws. Neither would Clint, unless in some warped way Tony and Pepper served as parental gatekeepers. She shuddered at the thought of that particular visual, adding it to her running list of unconventional life experiences.</p><p>It was getting to be a long list.</p><p>The sun was starting to set by the time they made it back to Bed-Stuy. Her packed luggage was sitting by the door where she’d left it this morning, and Clint was staring at her expectantly, holding his own duffel bag.</p><p>“All packed?”</p><p>“I think so,” he said, pecking her on the cheek. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>She toyed with is belt loops, slipping her hands under his shirt and feeling the warmth of his skin. As much as she liked being useful and feeling productive, Dani missed the days they’d just spent in bed together doing nothing.</p><p>It was probably just the long day talking.</p><p>“I’m OK. A little tired. I’m just glad that I’ll get to see Pepper in person and not just on my phone screen,” she murmured into his chest, feeling a little more rambly than usual.</p><p>It was just going to be a small get-together with Tony and Pepper in Malibu this year, but Dani had been dreading it all week. Something about how Tony had been the last few months told her this wasn’t going to be an easy holiday season. And as much as she wanted nothing but to see Pepper (and get some sunshine), the trip already felt like a grey cloud overhead.</p><p>“Ran into Sam at the VA,” Dani added, trying to change the subject. “Steve’s got him on another hunt over the holiday.”</p><p>She rested her chin on her chest and looked up expectantly at him. Clint knew she was shamelessly fishing for information, hoping he might slip her some details. They’d played this cat and mouse game for weeks; Dani couldn’t stand how secretive he was being.</p><p>“Oh really?” he mused a little too uninterestingly, body stiffening slightly.</p><p>Suddenly the corner of the room looked very interesting to Clint and she sighed.</p><p>No dice. She tried, at least.</p><p>“OK, fine,” she surrendered. “I won’t ask.”</p><p>He relaxed under her and kissed her temple, “You know it’s safer if you don’t know anything.”</p><p>“I know,” she admitted quietly. “But it doesn’t mean I don’t worry about you guys. And it doesn’t mean I don’t know you’ve been doing work on the side for Steve too.”</p><p>His blue eyes returned to hers, no hint of surprise visible, but the corner of his mouth lifted enough for her to notice.</p><p>“Damn your perceptiveness,” he said, tucking a loose hair behind her ear. “But seriously, I’m not taking any risks here, Dan. It’s probably the safest kind of mission I do.”</p><p>“Also the most secretive,” she challenged. “But anyway, I just want to know you, Steve and Sam are OK.”</p><p>Clint took a long, hard look at her, watching her face carefully as if he was looking for something.</p><p>“Mostly Steve?”</p><p>It was her turn to look away, eyes drifting to the floor at being that transparent. Restless hands found their way to the edge of her t-shirt where she picked at a couple of loose threads. Sure, it was silly being scared for a super soldier, but Steve was human, with human feelings, emotions and attachments.</p><p>“He went through a lot in D.C., and after. I can’t even imagine,” she murmured before looking back up at him. “I’m glad you’re helping him. I just worry.”</p><p>“I know,” he replied, softly taking her hands in his so they’d stop playing with the fabric between them. “I still wish you wouldn’t.”</p><p>He planted his lips in her hair, making her smile.</p><p>“Sorry, love. It’s in my DNA,” she joked.</p><p>He seemed to light up at the nickname, burying his head in the crook of her neck. He planted a few kisses on the soft skin there, sending shivers up her spine. It came so easy to them, the touchy-feely side of them. The trailing touches serving as reminders of the present, being present in the moments together. </p><p>She closed her eyes and soaked it in, leaning into the touches and tracking each breath on her skin.</p><p>“Have I sufficiently distracted you yet?” he whispered, smiling into her skin.</p><p>“You’re a menace.”</p><p>Pressing his lips to his one last time, he grabbed a few pieces of luggage and headed toward the front door.</p><p>“I’m going to run these to the car and then we can lock up and head out?”</p><p>She nodded, and he was on his way to the car in a blink. </p><p>Dani’s phone buzzed in her pocket, and voicemail notification flashed on the screen. It wasn’t a number she recognized. Thinking it might be a new client, she pressed her phone to her ear, entered her PIN and the voice on the other end spoke.</p><p>“<i>Danielle, this is your mother calling. Anthony gave me your number when the whole thing happened</i>—” </p><p>Heart thumping in her chest, Dani wasn’t even sure which <i>thing</i> she was talking about. If she had to bet, it was likely The Incident, which was two years ago. </p><p>“—<i>Anyway, I just wanted to call since it’s Thanksgiving and you haven’t bothered to call me since you left home. I’m an old woman, Danielle, and you’re my only daughter. My only daughter doesn’t even call me anymore. Can you imagine? I could die any day, you know, and I’d be all alone.</i>” </p><p>She could hear the telltale fake sob on the other end of the line, the one her mother used when she wanted sympathy. </p><p>“<i>If you can find it in your heart to get over whatever you have against me, I would like to hear from you. I tried my best Danielle. I gave you a place to live, I fed you, and you can’t even call your own mother. Not for Christmas, or Thanksgiving, or my birthday. Not even for Mother’s Day. Do you really want me to sit here and apologize to you for trying my best? You weren’t exactly a perfect child. Far from it—</i>”</p><p>Hearing Clint’s footsteps nearing the door and not wanting (or needing) to hear the rest of whatever her mother was about to say, she hit the delete button before the automated message prompted her, and tried to settle her pulse.</p><p>“Who was that?” Clint asked, brows furrowed.</p><p>She shot him a half-hearted smile, one she was ready to blame on being tired if prompted.</p><p>“Wrong number.”</p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Had to throw a little Coulson easter egg in there :)</p><p>Aiming to have the next update up Wednesday or Thursday.</p><p>PS: For anyone interested, I just uploaded a <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24668380">TaserHawk</a> fic as a part of my new 'series'</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hi! Welcome to the chapter that no one (including me) expected or asked for. If you’d prefer to skip the last section due to the content warning, I totally understand. There aren’t any plot points after the smut starts.</p><p><b>Warning: Smut at the end of this chapter.</b>.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>February 14, 2015</b>
</p><p>Christmas and the holidays were a boozy blur. Between the obvious tension between Tony and Pepper, and Tony and Clint, avoiding being alone with each other, she had definitely used alcohol to lubricate the awkward situations. Thankfully nothing ever came from that phone call from her mother. Dani was happy to continue pretending she didn’t exist, along with the whole holiday season, honestly.</p><p>She didn’t want to think about it, never mind talk about it. So instead, she buried herself in work to try and outrun the feelings. It’d done the trick for the first month or so, but now she was feeling <i>off</i>. It wasn’t burnout; she was just restless. </p><p>Although she supposed working Saturdays didn’t help with that.</p><p>Her receptionist only worked three days a week, going to school the rest of the time. Dani handled the schedule and the paperwork when she wasn’t in, zipping between the front desk and her exam rooms throughout. It was those days that her Pavlovian response to the front desk bell would drag her to the front of the office like she was on autopilot, still trying to process whatever she’d been interrupted from.</p><p>Today, she heard the bell and was on her feet before she’d consciously realized it, eyes tilting up to meet those <i>very</i> familiar eyes of her guest.</p><p>Her mouth curled into a surprised smile, “Well, well, well. What did I do to deserve a visit from Hawkeye himself?”</p><p>From the scruff on his face to the quirk in his brow, Dani knew this look from Clint: head-to-toe trouble. She also noticed Dom wasn’t in his usual seat… what was he up to?</p><p>“As much as I <i>want</i> so badly to make a sexy doctor-patient joke here, we’ve got a reservation to make.” The smirk on his face only inspired more questions from her, but she settled on the most pressing one. </p><p>“A reservation? I thought we said we weren’t doing Valentine’s Day,” she said in a slightly scolding tone. “I remember you calling it a ‘glorified Hallmark campaign.’”</p><p>She didn’t mean it as a jab so much as her admission of guilt. His surprise had her feeling bad for not getting or planning something for him. Especially since she didn’t know he was taking it to heart this year.</p><p>“Well, last year you took pity on a poor, broken me,” he chuckled. “And you might have mentioned you’ve never been wined and dined on Valentine’s Day, so I wanted to surprise you. Let me treat you tonight.”</p><p>Her jaw could have dropped to the floor. That wasn’t exactly the type of trouble she’d expected from him. Suddenly she was struggling to form words, parroting his own back to him in some form of disbelieving conversation.</p><p>“Wined and dined?”</p><p>His grin widened at her disbelieving look, “I told you I listen sometimes.”</p><p>She snorted, snapping herself out of the awe and looked down at herself, realizing she definitely wasn’t dressed for some fancy dinner.</p><p>“Clint. I uh, am still in my work clothes,” she motioned at her outfit.</p><p>But the shake of his head said he didn’t seem worried.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter,” he replied. “We’re going somewhere private.”</p><p>“Private?”</p><p>Colour her intrigued. Not only did Clint manage to keep a secret from her, but he still wasn’t giving up the full details?</p><p>“Are you coming or not?” he smirked. “Dom’s already headed home. I gave him the rest of the night off.”</p><p>There was a flicker of doubt — a split second, really — before she settled on screwing the work she’d been trying to get ahead on. She was all in. Dani grabbed her puffer jacket, scarf and knit cap and they both headed down to his car. </p><p>Clint seemed to get more frustrated as the minutes went on, and about fifteen minutes into the drive she could tell he had no idea where he was going. Either that or he had just missed a very important turn.</p><p>“Are you lost?” she asked airily.</p><p>“No,” he muttered. “I know the city like the back of my hand.”</p><p>She watched him squint at the nearby street signs and mumble to himself under his breath. It was hard to stop the playful smile at the corner of her mouth, but she didn’t want to make him angrier. </p><p>“Are you sure?”</p><p>“Yes,” he huffed, eyes lighting up at the sight of some landmark that must have set him straight. “I’m just, uh—trying to lose a tail.”</p><p>“Mhm.”</p><p>Stubborn as he was, he could probably figure this out on his own, so she let him keep his secret.</p><p>They pulled onto a residential street, private and off the main strip and Clint led her inside the building. It was quiet, away from prying eyes, and they didn’t pass anyone on their way in. It didn’t escape her that he pressed the button to the penthouse once they made it to the elevator. </p><p>One door sat in front of them as they exited, which he opened via keycard.</p><p>It was extravagant. Floor-to-ceiling windows revealed a beautiful NYC skyline, lights peppering the buildings and lighting up the night sky. There was a kitchenette with a table setting for two (and two covered plates), a pair of open doors leading into a bedroom and a seating area. And that was just the parts of the suite she could see.</p><p>Even though Dani might have lived with Tony Stark, this kind of luxury was something she rarely knew. It took her a moment to find her words.</p><p>“A <i>reservation</i>, huh? You got us a room for the night? We live in the city,” she laughed.</p><p>“Yeah, but sometimes you don’t want to hear my neighbours or deal with potentially running into your brother on the way up.”</p><p>“Why? What would we be doing that we wouldn’t want to run into anybody?”</p><p>Was that a question or an invitation? Dani didn’t even know as the words slid out of her mouth. He tilted his head slightly as if he hadn’t heard her correctly, sizing her up for a moment to see if she’d really meant it.</p><p>He palmed her cheek, carefully running his fingers through her hair as he kissed her. It was a test, she realized as he searched her half-lidded eyes.</p><p>“Now who’s incorrigible,” he murmured. “Dinner’s going to be cold if we go down this path.”</p><p>“Well, we wouldn’t want that,” but she didn’t really care at all.</p><p>She was quite content to sit here on the end of the bed with him and just share the same space. Peaking up through her eyelashes, her heart pitter-pattered at the look those big blues were giving her. There was an intensity, a fire there.</p><p>“I love you,” his words, so new, felt so familiar.</p><p>They seemed to hang in the air for a minute and Dani realized just how right they sounded. This was the reminder she needed, the familiarity and the joy and the excitement that washed away the ‘off’ weeks and her need to do anything but <i>this</i>?. And now that she had it in her hands, she didn’t want to let it go.</p><p>Cracking a coy smile at his slightly worried expression (as if she’d ever not feel the same about him), she replied, “And I love you.”</p><p>“Really?” </p><p>The hopeful, disbelieving words made her heart clench. She ran her fingers through his hair, watching his eyes close at the sensation and kissed him gently.</p><p>“I'd never lie to you, Clint,” she made sure to hold his gaze at every word. “You’re a spy, you’d totally know anyway.”</p><p>“Not that I don’t love your faith in me, but that’s not exactly how that works,” he chuckled, still watching her closely, as if she was going to take back her words in a moment.</p><p>Squeezing his hand, she reinforced, “I’m serious.”</p><p>“I know,” he pressed his lips to her temple. “Here, let’s eat. I’m honestly starving.”</p><p>It was a beautiful meal, three courses with a personal chef and sommelier. It was something she never knew she’d wanted, never knew Clint even would have thought of. She’d have been just as happy in her pyjamas eating Ben &amp; Jerry’s on the couch in his apartment tonight — he knew that.</p><p>Because as long as Clint was there, she’d be there too. No matter what.</p><p>Tonight was decidedly different, though. She couldn’t remember seeing him smile this much in recent weeks, couldn’t remember the last time he’d surprised her with something. Dani couldn’t take her eyes off him the whole dinner, staring at his candlelit face like she was trying to piece together the man in front of her.</p><p>Somehow they made it to dessert, a sinfully delicious tiramisu without jumping over the table at each other. A bottle of wine between them made it a very real possibility. Dani could feel the heat in her face, and while she wasn’t drunk, there was a delightful buzz under her the surface of her skin.</p><p>“What’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”</p><p>Elbow on the table, he leaned forward, eyes alight in curiosity.</p><p>“I was thinking about when I realized I love you,” she replied softly, truthfully.</p><p>“Tell me about it,” he crooned. “I love hearing about myself.”</p><p>She giggled, playfully flicking his hand on the table and he captured hers in return. </p><p>“Well, if we want to get technical, it was actually a year ago today.”</p><p>He hummed in consideration, quietly urging her on with a stroke of his thumb along her knuckles.</p><p>“I don’t even know if you remember, you were half asleep,” she smiled to herself. “But, you knew so much more about me than anyone else and you never treated me any differently for it. And that night, Valentine’s Day, when we were on the couch and you said we needed to stick together, I just…”</p><p>She was getting misty-eyed just thinking about that moment, her heart feeling so full at the memory. He reached across the table to clasp her hand, looking a little worried at her reaction, but she lifted the corners of her lips weakly in an attempt to brush it off.</p><p>“And I honestly thought I’d never get this. That I’d be stuck in SHIELD’s bureaucracy tango for eternity and by then you’d find something else. Small mercies, I guess,” she continued, surprised she’d ever find a reason to be happy to go through SHIELD’s fall. “And then this past year just solidified it all for me. I was never fragile or broken to you, I just <i>was</i>. I honestly didn’t want to scare you off, so I never said it out loud. I guess I was just kind of waiting for you to say it first? To make sure I didn’t go full Alex Forrest on you or anything?”</p><p>She was rambling now, the Stark in her showing as she bashfully waited for him to save her from herself.</p><p>“Babe,” his voice was so calming, instantly brushing away every insecurity she had about her answer in one word. “You could never scare me off. You <i>do</i> know what my day job is, right?”</p><p>She chuckled, relieved at his reaction. </p><p>“What about you, mister? When did you know? New Years?”</p><p>He shook his head, “Are you sure I won’t scare you off?”</p><p>“Never,” she declared, ignoring the thumping in her ears and the sudden straightening of her spine.</p><p>Was there some embarrassing moment she was forgetting? Some obvious sign she missed? Was he going to tell her some anecdote she didn’t even remember?</p><p>“Your love of tacos the first day we met was just awe-inspiring,” he deadpanned.</p><p>“Clint!” </p><p>“No, but seriously… When I watched you in your first advanced assessment,” he admitted, making her eyebrows quirk. “I realized there was a lot more than just a beautiful, affectionate physiotherapist in there. And I realized I needed to get to know her better. That’s when I figured it out for myself, at least.”</p><p>The smile never left her face, “Why am I not surprised you fell in love with me with a gun in my hands?”</p><p>“That was just a bonus,” he said with a mischievous glint. “The real treat was hearing the commentary on the observation deck during the demonstration.”</p><p>They’d always had a connection, she knew that. It was obvious to anyone who’d been around them the last four years. But her heart still pitter-pattered at the thought of him having those same feelings she’d had all along, the ones she always tried to convince herself were one-sided.</p><p>“You looked really proud the next day.” She sighed, “And sore, you idiot.”</p><p>She wasn’t about to let him forget about beating the shit out of Rumlow on her behalf.</p><p>“I <i>was</i> really proud. And I still think I did the right thing, all things considered,” he said, offering her his infamous lopsided grin.</p><p>Clint made the first move, taking her by her hand and guiding them towards the bed across the room. She wrapped his arms around his neck and whispered in his ear, “Thank you for tonight.”</p><p>“Don’t thank me yet.”</p><p>Pushing back, she was just about to make a playful quip when he continued.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>She could have heard those words from him a million more times. </p><p>But instead, she’d happy settle on the sensation of him undressing her at warp speed. Her shirt seemed to be off in an instant, and she hitched Clint’s over his head in record time to meet it, taking her time and trailing her fingertips along the muscles below. </p><p>The clink of his belt buckle was the only noise above the shuffling, his hands deftly mirroring hers.  Their pants followed soon after, landing in a less-than-neat pile across the room with the rest of their clothes.</p><p>It was a good thing that Clint didn’t plan anything past the hotel room and dinner because there was no stopping them now.</p><p>His mouth chased hers with bruising kisses, hands finding her hair and pushing it over to one shoulder so he could access her neck. He trailed, open-mouthed, across the hollows, across the clavicle and down her torso. Not shying from the scars, Clint’s lips brushed over them just as reverently as the rest of her. And though they were long familiar and healed, she could watch him catalogue them with every touch. </p><p>Left first and then right, his tongue swirled her nipples, one at a time, teeth grazing just enough to elicit a gasp. “Beautiful,” She could feel him chuckle against her skin, distracting her slightly from the playful pinching and palming he’d busied himself with.</p><p>Strong, calloused hands held her hips in place as he kissed her with everything, tongue sliding past her lips, and leaned her back onto the bed. The lazy trail of nips and licks down her body was enough to drive her crazy. But it was the contrasting ghosting touches down her side that brought her rolling her hips into his impatiently.</p><p>“Darlin’, we’re just getting started,” he tutted.</p><p>Dani could hear the gravel in his voice as his grip moved to her thighs. Clint settled down between him, just watching her watch him. Watching as his fingers hooked through the straps of her underwear, as his mouth moved in for the kill. He was a total tease, nose skimming the inside of her thigh, scruff following soon after, making her breath hitched in her throat. </p><p>Hard as she tried to keep her eyes on him, because damn was Dani lost in those blown-out blue eyes, she found herself too far gone in the sensations. Back arched and thighs already shaking slightly, she was two minutes away from begging.</p><p>And he knew it, he always knew it.</p><p>“Clint,” the name rolled off her tongue so easily.</p><p>“How am I doing?” she could hear the smirk in his tone, but she couldn’t find the words to reply with anything but a whimper. </p><p>Impatient as ever, Clint slipped one finger between her slick folds and Dani couldn’t stop herself from trying to meet him. It was only moments before he added another, as if to spur her reaction. Crooked just right, hitting that perfect spot inside her, the coil in her belly tightened and she gasped under him. She was so close.</p><p>“Just don’t you dare stop,” she breathed in warning. “Clint,” she added when he didn’t immediately respond.</p><p>“I would never.”</p><p>It only took moments for her to completely unravel beneath him, stars shining behind her eyelids as her hips bucked. To his credit, Clint didn’t let up, tongue tracing every letter in the alphabet as she rode out her orgasm. Catching her breath, she sat up on her elbows and looked at him. His fingers threaded through her hair, roughly pulling her into a messy kiss.</p><p>“Mm, you always taste so good,” he crooned. </p><p>He easily lifted her into his lap, hands under cheeks. She ground down into the straddle, indulging in the feeling of him hard and ready beneath her.</p><p>“You are way too good at that,” she murmured against the skin of his neck, pressing kisses just behind his ear.</p><p>Soaking up the sensation of his calloused hands on her bare skin, she wasn’t sure whether she meant the orgasm or just how easily he worked her into a frenzy. Either way, commendable.</p><p>“Well, we’ve had lots of practice.”</p><p>Dani trailed her lips from his mouth to his jaw. She nibbled on his neck, chuckling at the breathy moans each nip elicited from him. </p><p>Now it was her turn to explore and she was happy to take her time. Clint was beautiful, every scar, every muscle, every mark made up the man she loved. Her lips kissed down his center, over the raised edges and jagged lines and just past his belly button. </p><p>Muscles taut with every touch, she couldn’t get over how he felt, how he reacted to every stimulus. The breathy moans, the rolling hips, the shudders. It was a better sight than her imagination could have ever dreamed up. She stared up at those half-lidded blue eyes of his as she placed her lips on the edge of the elastic band, teasing slightly. His groan in response sent shivers through her. </p><p>Her thumbs had just hooked under the waistband of his briefs when his hands swept in to take over.</p><p>“But baby—“</p><p>Clint quickly shucked his underwear, tossing them into the established pile before taking her face in his hands. Pressing his lips to hers, she took his bottom lip between her teeth and lightly tugged, trying to make his point. Taking charge for the night.</p><p>“No buts. Tonight is all about you,” he murmured against her lips. “And honestly after the show you just put on for me, I don’t think I’d be able to last.”</p><p>She was more than happy to sit back and enjoy the ride.</p><p>Shooting him a flirty smile, he shoved her back onto the bed, kneeling between her thighs. Her hands caressed his hips as he rolled the condom over the head of his cock. He entered her in one smooth stroke, filling her so well she couldn’t hold back a moan.</p><p>“Clint,” she pleaded. “Fuck.”</p><p>“Isn’t that what I’m doing?”</p><p>Her breathy laugh was cut off by his next thrust, bottoming out inside her. His fingers found her clit, circling until she was much too close again, still so sensitive from the first. They worked up a rhythm, their groans and sighs filling the room. He cocooned her, pelvic bone taking over for his hands as their bodies ground against each other. </p><p>The coil was tightening again, and her lips frantically found his neck, mouth searching for any skin to nip, to lick, to kiss. Her arms wrapped around his torso, fingers dragging up and down his back.</p><p>“You close, darling’?” he said, hot breath on her neck.</p><p>“Yeah,” she managed to get out, voice high and strained.</p><p>He bit down on the skin of her neck, growling against her, “Baby, I can’t wait to see you fall apart. You’re doing so good. Look at me.”</p><p>And that was all it took, that commanding tone, those blown pupils staring back at her. Dani’s head fell back against the sheets, cry ripping from her throat as she came. He rode her out, coming undone shortly after in a heap on top of her. Blonde hair sticking to his face, she lovingly brushed his hair back with her fingers.</p><p>He gave her a dopey smile and kissed her sweetly.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>“I love you too,” she replied, meaning every word.</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Aiming for Sunday or Monday for the next update.</p><p>Any bets on what we start next chapter?</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>April 28, 2015</b>
</p><p>“Why can’t I ever go to Europe for something fun?”</p><p>Dani chuckled at his grumbling, most likely made worse by the fact today’s trip cut into Clint’s sleeping time. </p><p>And <i>boy</i> did he get grumpy without enough sleep. </p><p>He flitted around the apartment, hastily packing his quiver with some spare arrows from his personal stash in the room lit only by an overhead light. Hunched over, he picked through the piles of boxes marked in what looked to be crayon.</p><p>“Hunting down evil Nazi organizations not exciting enough for you?” she joked from the bed, watching him with interest and wondering what exactly a ‘putty’ arrow did.</p><p>“You know that’s not what I meant.”</p><p>“I know,” she chuckled. “And all things considered, I think you’re allowed to whine.”</p><p>Quiver abandoned on the floor beside the boxes, he collapsed onto the bed beside her. Her thumb traced the rings around his eyes; the creases in his forehead were especially shadowed in the dim light. Dani ran her fingers through his hair and smiled as he leaned into her touch, eyes closed, face completely at ease for a brief moment.</p><p>“Good, because I’m very good at it. Excellent even,” he mumbled against her thigh, head quickly having found her lap.</p><p>This was generally how they handled him leaving for missions. The quiet moments of just the two of them, intimate and slightly subdued, but still in good humour. Some mornings (or middles of the night) she wished she could haul him back under the covers and hold him just a little longer, but this was their life. </p><p>And as unconventional as it was sometimes, she loved him enough to know it was what he <i>needed</i> to do.</p><p>Her boyfriend was off to do his job, help people, hunt down rogues, thieves and killers. Some nights she wondered if he thought he had a price to pay back, sins to cancel out, a sense of duty to the cause. Other nights, other assignments she just knew that he couldn’t sit around and see people around him in pain. </p><p>“Ugh, I have to go,” Clint groaned, looking at his phone. “I love you. I’ll see you later, OK?”</p><p>He pulled himself off the bed and pecked her on the lips.</p><p>“Love you too. Be safe.”</p><p>“Aren’t I always?” he joked, giving her his signature grin.</p><p>“I’m serious, Clint.”</p><p>He mock saluted as he walked backwards out the door, “Yes, ma’am.”</p><p>So she waited and hoped that he’d returned safely, setting out the comfy blankets and cleaning their space. And regardless of what time he got back, she’d be there to cook a hot meal when he did, wrapping him in her arms if he needed it, or giving him space if not. The missions and the outcomes varied, the days were good, bad and everything in between.</p><p>Clint’s assignments had become more frequent of late, though most of the leads they’d followed up on had been fruitless. Mostly henchmen, small-time splinter groups. Just the shells of a predator that’d already managed to escape.</p><p>Not that she worried any less. The concern was still there; she’d just found ways to distract herself from the fact she definitely wasn’t going to be able to get back to sleep.</p><p>Most days she’d try to find some human contact. But today, it was early; Sam was off on some mission, so it wasn’t like he could bother him. And Maria Hill, well, she wasn’t stupid enough to try to bother her while she was working. After-hours Maria was a different story, but all fun and games with her usually ended in a hangover.</p><p>She’d already cleaned the entire suite a couple of days back on a full-day mission. The sun was just starting to rise when she finished reorganizing her closet to pack away her winter clothes, and Dani even managed to fit in a workout in the exceptionally empty gym. If she didn’t stop soon, she was going to end up detailing the inside of her fridge, and that was a smidge past the line between productive and desperate.</p><p>But everyone had their own coping methods.</p><p>On days like today, when there was no word from Clint or the team and she was on her own, she’d have JARVIS play some music for her or end up quizzing him on useless facts. The chatter, the background noise, the thought of someone nearby was important to her.</p><p>She wasn’t sure if the attack had amplified that need in her, but if she was alone, she needed some sort of distraction to help drown out the incessant thoughts in her brain. So she asked JARVIS to continue where she left off in the audiobook version of <i>The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy</i> and set herself on the couch.</p>
<hr/><p>Everyone seemed to be in good spirits.</p><p>That fact solidified the annoyance bubbling in the pit of Dani’s stomach. Not about the vague and scary text she woke up to from not Clint (which in itself was worrying), not that she dropped everything to immediately head to the labs to see him, not even that her heart was pounding at a thousand beats a minute.</p><p>It was knowing that she <i>had</i> to be annoyed right now. </p><p>Otherwise, she would be a <i>total</i> wreck. So, knowing that A) that wouldn’t be helpful to anyone and B) she couldn’t take that right now, her jaw stayed tense, her body rigid as she rushed out of the elevator and crossed the floor. Dani had been lucky, she realized; Clint hadn’t come back from a mission hurt in months. So this was all probably just some cosmic payback for having too good of a go at things lately. </p><p>It didn’t make her feel any better.</p><p>“I’ve been told my idiot boyfriend got himself injured again?” Dani icily asked a passing Nat, who quickly pointed her in the direction she came from with a bemused expression.</p><p>She rounded the corner into Bruce’s lab, finding a smirking Clint Barton in a room with Dr. Cho and Dr. Banner. Somewhere between the lasers pointed at his abdomen and the intrigued look on Bruce’s face told her this had been more than just a scrape.</p><p>And judging by the fact they already look half-done, they — no, probably <i>Clint</i> — had likely waited to tell her to spare her the gory visual. It was fruitless, because her brain was already visualizing just how bad it had been, frown setting itself on her face.</p><p>“What are you smiling about?” she said with as severe of a face as she could muster, arms crossed over her chest.</p><p>“You said idiot boyfriend with so much <i>love</i> in your voice, honey,” he cooed playfully, clearly trying to lighten the mood.</p><p>She shot him a silent ‘we’re so going to talk about this later’ look.</p><p>“Suddenly I’m wishing you had gone to Europe for something fun,” she sighed, sinking into a chair beside Clint as he lay on the exam table. “What am I going to do with you?”</p><p>The frustration masking her worry was starting to crack, the relief settled in at him being safe, and Dani slumped in the seat, a tired and stiff feeling whooshing in with the rush of emotions.</p><p>“Love me and make me recovery pasta?” he tried, giving her his best impression of puppy dog eyes.</p><p>Dani, sighing, knew she couldn’t say no to those big blues, but she wasn’t about to cave without getting some more information out of him.</p><p>“So what happened?”</p><p>She knew they’d been searching for something, taking mission after mission to clear out the larger Hydra-operated bases around the world. At least the ones they’d been able to locate. In all likelihood, it would take them years to really snuff them out, and by then some of the splinter cells might have developed their own offshoots. </p><p>The post-SHIELD, post-Triskelion landscape was a mess and that was far from secret, even to the public.</p><p>“We found it,” he explained. “I got hit, sure, but we ended up finding the damn thing.”</p><p>“All this for a staff?” she questioned, chewing on her bottom lip.</p><p>“A <i>sceptre</i>,” he corrected, as if that made any difference to either of them.</p><p>Something about alien artifacts weirded her out; might have been the whole Clint mind control thing with Loki, or maybe the attack on the Helicarrier. It made her nervous to even have it in the same building as them.</p><p>“Got it. Acquire a World of Warcraft weapon and then?”</p><p>It was anything but funny, but if she didn’t try to lighten the mood in true Stark fashion, she’d probably lose it. Laugh or cry; it was always one extreme or the other in these sorts of situations, and if it wasn’t insufferably clear that Dani hated being vulnerable in front of others, her sense of self-deprecating humour always gave it away.</p><p>“Tony and Bruce are going to study it, and then it goes back to Asgard.”</p><p>Great. Another project for Tony to throw himself into. She couldn’t stop her forehead from wrinkling, hand reaching up to smooth the line and massage her temples. But Tony seemed to think this one was different. Not that he was the best judge of things.</p><p>He’d been so in the weeds lately she’d had to ask JARVIS to remind him to eat on more than one occasion. And she’d be lying if she claimed not to be worried every time she stayed at Clint’s. </p><p>Sure, he was a grown man with a multi-billion dollar company, and sure he had a whole building full of staff at his disposal, but without Pepper around to moderate him, Tony had been in a free-fall. He knew it, she knew it, pretty sure even Bruce knew it. </p><p>But no one could tell Tony Stark what to or not to do, and that was the problem.</p><p>“You OK?”</p><p>She wasn’t.</p><p>“Yeah, just tired.”</p><p>The concern didn’t drop from his face as he told her, “You don’t have to cook if—”</p><p>“No, it’s no trouble,” she assured.</p><p>“JARVIS keep you company?” he asked knowingly, as Dr. Cho and Bruce stopped their chat across the room and started inspected the machine’s work.</p><p>She nodded.</p><p>“Looks like you’re all done here,” Dr. Cho declared. “And no, no additional recovery time needed. You’re good as new,” she added in response to Dani’s raised eyebrows.</p><p>Clint ran his fingers over the newly formed skin and smiled, “Can’t even feel the difference.”</p><p>“That’s the whole point,” Bruce chuckled. “It’s quite remarkable.”</p><p>Dani traced her own fingers over the spot and agreed, it felt like nothing had changed. Her stomach still churned at the thought of what <i>had</i> been there, a couple of tangents whisking her thoughts in directions of what might have happened if they hadn’t had this technology. </p><p>For now she’d have to settle herself with the knowledge they did, and Clint was fine.</p><p>With that, Clint hopped off the table and thanked the doctors before taking Dani’s hand. She gave him a weak smile, and they headed toward the elevator, passing Tony and Bruce as they frantically switched between projections in the fishbowl of their lab.</p><p>Thor was hanging around just outside, looking a little unsure at interrupting the science bros. While she hadn’t seen a lot of him since The Incident, he’d been around a lot more lately in the team’s hunt for the sceptre. A wide grin was already stretched across his face at the sight of Clint walking around, and he greeted them from across the room.</p><p>“Ah, I see you’re fully healed, Barton.”</p><p>“That I am,” he confirmed. “Just glad this whole hunt is over.”</p><p>“Indeed,” he mused. “I’ll be happy to get this sceptre back to Asgard.”</p><p>As if that reminded Thor of something, he turned to Dani.</p><p>“And you, fair Dani, will you be joining us in revels?”</p><p>“Revels?” she parroted, staring at Clint.</p><p>She knew the definition of the word, having studied more than enough Shakespeare in school growing up. No, Dani’s confusion came more from the context, hoping Clint or Tony hadn’t promised she’d be there. </p><p>She felt Clint’s grip on her hand tense slightly at her clear hesitation.</p><p>“Oh, right. Well, Tony’s having a get together Friday to celebrate getting the sceptre,” he says aloud, his eyes asking silently both if she even wanted to go and if not, if she wanted him to handle the response.</p><p>“Of course he is,” she muttered.</p><p>Thor obviously hadn’t been in town when the attack happened, and while most in the Tower were well-versed, it wasn’t really anyone’s favourite topic of conversation. It wasn’t his fault, but even if she hadn’t just been woken awake by a text warning her of her boyfriend’s injury, she didn’t have the energy to try to explain the why without making it awkward. </p><p>After all, how do you sum up ‘I still very much have <i>issues</i> from the last party I attended and my brain won’t actually let me relax in large crowd environments anymore’ in a way that doesn’t scream <i>broken</i>?</p><p>“I uh, don’t think I’ll be able to make it,” she offered not-so-smoothly, the only words she could find feeling clunky as they drifted off her lips.</p><p>This was one of the first times she’d had to bow out of an invite to someone other than Tony, someone who didn’t know the backstory behind the scars she’d been able to hide throughout winter and spring.</p><p>“I’m very sorry to hear that,” Thor says. “Another time.”</p><p>She smiles and nods, the non-answer seemingly satisfying him. Clint rubbed her back soothingly as she swallowed hard and wondered when this whole thing gets easier. Should she be able to be at a party? Is it normal for her to still be this worried?</p><p>“Hey, it’s almost a year to the date, Dan. It’s totally understandable why you wouldn’t want to go,” he said quietly as if he could see the cogs whirring behind her eyes.</p><p>“You can go,” she says resolutely, knowing that’d be his next train of thought. “You shouldn’t miss out on a night with the team.”</p><p>“No, I don’t—”</p><p>“I’m a big girl, Clint. I’ll be just fine in my suite,” she assured with a wry smile, feeling a little better that Thor hadn’t questioned her answer. “Only a few floors down.”</p><p>He held her in the elevator, arms wrapped around her front, and face tucked into the crook of her neck. She loved that he knew just how to wordlessly comfort her, how to ground her in those uncomfortable moments without fanfare. To anyone else, it would seem like a normal embrace, but she could read between the lines of every touch.</p><p>“Shouldn’t I be comforting you? You were the one injured in the field,” she asked, voice small.</p><p>“I love you is all,” Clint mumbled. “And this is comforting to me.”</p><p>They made it to her suite, but Clint never left her side. He shadowed her in the kitchen as she flitted back and forth between the stove-top, the cupboards and the fridge. Dani always made sure to have the ingredients for Clint’s favourite pasta on hand for post-mission comfort food.</p><p>She doesn’t remember exactly when that became their tradition, but it did.</p><p>His hands barely left her, tracing circles on her hips, well-timed kisses to her neck, lips pressed into her hair. She wasn’t sure if it was for his benefit or hers. Maybe it was both. But either way, this homey feeling was nice, it was something she craved more of on the days and sometimes weeks he’d be gone from the tower.</p><p>So she’d gladly take it whenever she could get it.</p><p>“We should go on vacation,” Clint said suddenly after demolishing his bowl of pasta.</p><p>She wasn’t sure where that came from, staring at him skeptically. Sure, he’d been working more than usual lately, but he’d <i>never</i> broached this subject before.</p><p>“A vacation? Mr. Workaholic wants time off?” she asked his skeptically.</p><p>“You’re one to talk,” he retorts. “But seriously, we deserve some time away.”</p><p>She hummed, thinking through how to play along with his fantasy (because that’s definitely all it was), “Where would we go?”</p><p>“I think I’m still allowed in Thailand. Set ourselves up on a nice little beach there…” his voice drifted off dreamily.</p><p>“<i>Allowed</i>?”</p><p>“Oh,” he chuckled nervously. “Yeah, because of what Nat and I used to do, there are some countries we’re technically banned from.”</p><p>Her eyebrows raised to her forehead, but she quickly flattened them. “I don’t know why I found that so surprising,” she muttered, chiding herself on her naiveté. “Makes sense.”</p><p>A wicked smirk crossed his face, “Not that it would stop me if there was a good enough reason. I mean, it’d only be bad if they <i>caught</i> us.”</p><p>A roll of her eyes led into her reply, “I’m so not ending up in some overseas jail for a vacation.”</p><p>He bumped his elbow against hers and pouted, “You’re no fun. Nat would totally break us out.”</p><p>Dani pursed her lips and raised a brow. </p><p>“Something tells me you don’t really know <i>how</i> to take a vacation, Clint.”</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next update on Thursday or Friday.</p><p>The next chapter's a long one!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>May 2, 2015</b>
</p><p>“You sure you’re OK with this, Dom?”</p><p>Clint sounded hesitant from his spot beside the couch. From what Dani could gather, it wasn’t so much about the fact that his girlfriend and her guard were going to be spending tonight in the safety of her suite, moreso that Dani was going to subject her poor security guard to a girls' night in. </p><p>Little did Clint know, tonight had actually been Dom’s idea.</p><p>If anything, her boyfriend was happy Dom was there — even it was overkill considering she had Avengers Tower security, and she wouldn't be leaving the building for the night— but Tony had insisted. </p><p>Probably the guilt talking.</p><p>“Oh yeah, no worries. Wife’s been itching to have some time alone; she’s having her own little get together at our place,” Dom said even keel, waving his hand slightly as Clint stared at the title card for <i>27 Dresses</i> on the TV screen.</p><p>Dani watched Clint’s raised brow turn into a shrug at his explanation before turning back to her, “You sure you don’t want me to sneak down a bottle of champagne for you guys?”</p><p>“Nah, I already convinced JARVIS to reroute some hors d'oeuvres from the kitchen to us,” Dani replied with a wink. “All the fun and none of the crowd.”</p><p>Chick flicks, popcorn and five star cuisine. It was better than a party, Dani had convinced herself. And a hell of a lot safer for her — the last way she wanted tonight to end was her hyperventilating back in the suite.</p><p>“I’ll be right upstairs if you need me,” Clint assured.</p><p>“Go have fun. You earned it,” she said, pulling him down to her level and kissing him tenderly. “Just come back in one piece. Preferably not puking.”</p><p>He chuckled as he opened the door to her suite, “No promises. I hear Thor brought Asgardian booze.”</p><p>Yeah, so no hope on that front. </p><p>The door closed behind him, leaving her and Dom on the couch.</p><p>“So, face masks?”</p>
<hr/><p>Somewhere Dani she knew she’d fallen asleep, but blinking herself awake, she couldn’t quite grasp what woke her up. She looked around before realizing she wasn't alone. Right, Dom. The security guard had probably been awake the whole time and was now sitting stock still beside her on the couch, focussed.</p><p>On what?</p><p>The TV was already muted, tipping her off. Listening hard, she could just make something out through the heavily soundproofed walls. Were those not-so-distant crashes coming through… the window? She looked outside almost expecting to see smoke or falling debris or something, but there was nothing out of the ordinary. </p><p>Must be something above them sending vibrations through the glass. The party maybe? </p><p>“JARVIS, what’s going on?” her heart was beating in her chest, the only other sound in the suite as she stared up expectantly at the ceiling.</p><p>But there was nothing. </p><p>Dani couldn’t remember the last time the AI hadn’t responded to her, and that simple fact sent a shiver down her spine in the dark.</p><p>“JARVIS?”</p><p>It clicked as her eyes caught her front door again, seeing the white light of the back-up system’s floodlights peeking through the crack under the door. There was something wrong with JARVIS, sure, but this looked like something bigger. A power outage? A breach? She stared down at her phone to find zero bars. </p><p>There went the idea of texting Tony.</p><p>The possibilities whirred through her head (none of them good) as she looked over at Dom who seemed to be at a similar loss.</p><p>“Ms— Dani, I think there’s been a breach,” Dom’s voice was much too level, and Dani wasn’t sure if that was for her benefit or for his. “Looks like the system’s been dead for the last hour. I just thought it was an outage. I flagged it and IT is looking into it, but now comms are down,” Dom sounded more panicked as the full impact of the scenario started unravelling.</p><p>Were they safer in the suite? What even happens in a situation like this? They were more than fifty floors up. Her eyes flickered to the coat room where her go bag still was. There wasn’t a single real weapon in the whole suite, though, and suddenly she wished she hadn’t had to leave her gun in D.C.</p><p>“What do we do?” she asked, feeling very much like she was stuck in a time loop.</p><p>“Protocol is we head to the sub-level safe room,” he replied quickly, getting himself off the couch and heading cautiously towards the door. “We’re going to have to take the stairs.”</p><p>Running shoes it was. She winced at the thought of heading down fifty plus floors’ worth of stairs, but it was better than a bullet to the head. </p><p>On second thought, she should probably erase that turn of phrase from her lexicon. </p><p>Dom pressed his ear to the door and waved her over as he slipped on his shoes. Dani quickly followed suit, pulling the laces tight with her shaking hands. </p><p>“Listen,” he held her arm just above the elbow, eyes serious. “I know you’ve been doing better lately, but you have to tell me if you’re in pain. I will take you the rest of the way, just please tell me.”</p><p>She nodded, appreciating the gesture. She knew that in any other situation, she wouldn’t even be entertaining the idea, never mind considering taking him up on it. Today she was going to try. She could do this, she decided.</p><p>Dom’s gun was unholstered and in his grip in a moment, and she frankly wasn’t even sure where he’d had it on him the whole time. There was a brief moment of fear as she looked at his gun, realizing he'd never been in this position with her before. She trusted him, that was never in question, but the last time she'd been guarded like this… </p><p>Dom tracked his gaze through the door, hugging the walls of the hallway at the all-clear. Dani trailed behind him, slipping in through the stairwell door. He closed it as quietly as possibly behind them both before leaning over the railing and scanning up and down the narrow stairwell, lit only by the emergency lights.</p><p>Dani barely breathed, trying to be as quiet as possible as they made their way down. Footsteps inevitably clunking down the stairs, they both kept their heads down, focussed on not tripping. </p><p>She almost did, however, when Dom’s arm shot out to stop her in her tracks on a landing. </p><p>They were a little over halfway down at that point, and her eyes shot upwards with his at the sound of a door opening with a bang, followed by some crashing and crunching. Dani could hear a familiar whirring and couldn’t help herself, trying to catch a glimpse of what was above them when she came to a horrifying realization.</p><p>“<i>We are here to help</i>.”</p><p>“Is that Tony’s?” she whispered to Dom. “Iron Legion?”</p><p>The metallic tone was distinct; she <i>knew</i> that clunking, that humming anywhere. With wide eyes she looked at Dom and then at the door to the 22nd floor, “We need to get out of this stairwell.”</p><p>They quickly ducked onto the floor, pressing themselves against the walls and moving slowly. The lights were low, with most of the floor being lit only by a few computer monitors left on login screens. They rounded the corners carefully, and as soon as they managed to turn out of view of the stairwell, they heard it.</p><p>The thump and spring of the emergency exit door opening. She closed her eyes and focussed — it sounded like there was only one of them. </p><p>“<i>We are here to help</i>.”</p><p>They ducked into a couple rows of cubicles, keeping low to the ground. Dom held his arm out, motioning for her to stay behind him. It was useless, she knew, since the machine would easily be able to read heat signatures through the thin walls. But maybe it would give them enough time to line up a shot.</p><p>The way Tony programmed them, they’d likely only get one.</p><p>Dom readied himself and popped around the corner of the cubicle, but the bot had moved much faster than he anticipated. They traded shots, Dom’s landing lower than he intended, damaging a limb, but not stopping it in its tracks. With a bright beam of light, Dom stumbled back against the wall, cradling his shoulder as he slumped to the ground beside her, gun knocked out of hand and abandoned on the floor a foot out of his reach.</p><p>The robot continued towards them, teetering in mid-air, one of the repulsors clearly damaged. Off-kilter, it stumbled towards them, white and blue metal glowing in the dim lighting, seemingly glowing.</p><p>It happened so fast, Dani could barely register it. It was like her limbs acted on their own. </p><p>The next thing she knew, Dom’s gun was in her hand, and she’d just emptied the clip into the bot’s neck, managing to sever it. The head and body tumbled to the ground, dark fluid pooling onto the floor below where it’d been floating.</p><p>The gun clattered to the floor as Dani stood completely rigid, held upright in place by some unseen force, horrified. The heart beat pounding in her ears was as fast as a hummingbird. She could feel the same pulse carry through her hands, fingers twitching slightly as she stared at them.</p><p>“Dani?”</p><p>
  <i>What just happened?</i>
</p><p>She had to breathe.</p><p>“You never told me about your life before,” Dom’s voice rose above the pulsing in her ears.</p><p>She knew was he meant, before the accident. </p><p>"Y'never asked," she managed to choke out.</p><p>He was trying to keep her mind on anything beside the tremor running through her body. Dani tried to focus on his words as she steadied her breathing.</p><p>“You see the field much?”</p><p>There was a beat of silence, a moment where she realized he was watching her carefully, slowly rising from his spot on the ground. He gently reached over and grabbed the gun from the floor, as she started to pull herself out of it. </p><p>“Enough,” she replied shakily.</p><p>But the truth was, while she used to think she was able to defend herself in most situations, those days were long gone. She wasn’t that person anymore, not the person that would have had a go at Rumlow and his lackeys. These days she could barely stand up to a bot without reducing herself to a quivering mess.</p><p>“Well, thank God you know how to shoot.”</p><p>It didn’t escape her that he didn’t ask if she was OK or reach over to touch her, and she wasn’t sure if that was a reflection of how long they’d been working together or if she looked that bad off. </p><p>So she turned her attention to him instead, looking a little paler than usual.</p><p>“You OK?” she asked him, already looking him over for any other injuries. “I can patch that up if you want.”</p><p>He nodded, clutching the gash, “Yeah, wife might have a problem with me coming home bleeding.”</p><p>After making sure there weren’t any other rogue robots, she navigated them to the floor’s kitchen, which was thankfully on the same spot on every floor. She knew it would have a first aid kit stocked. Sitting him down on one of the chairs, she pulled out everything she needed and got to work.</p><p>“My first aid certification’s probably expired by now, so please don’t sue me,” she joked, but she was more worried about keeping her hands steady.</p><p>Dani tried everything to bring herself back to that clinical frame of mind she hoped was still somewhere inside her.</p><p>“This what you did in the field? Before?” he clarified, eyes curious.</p><p>“Yeah, I’d tag along with emergency response and help out,” she murmured as she stitched him up. “Harlem, The Incident. I’m surprised you didn’t see it on the news after the whole…”</p><p>Or in the online leaks, she thought bitterly. Although it wouldn’t be uncommon practice to Google one’s employer she supposed.</p><p>“I try not to watch that kind of stuff,” he admitted as she tied up the last stitch. “It’s not fair for them to use your life for entertainment.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, I’m a Stark. Comes with the surname,” she sighed, staring down at her buzzing phone. Comms were back, apparently. “Speaking of. Yeah?”</p><p>The voice on the other end of the line was frazzled, “Kid, where are you?”</p><p>“Twenty-second floor, with Dom.”</p><p>“You OK?”</p><p>No questions about why she was on a random floor in Stark Tower? </p><p>So he <i>clearly</i> knew what just happened. She almost threw the phrase back at him maliciously, but bit her tongue and settled on the truth.</p><p>“Had to take out an Iron bot. Just stitched Dom up. Tony what the fuck is going on?”</p><p>“Is he OK?”</p><p>She was split between rage and exhaustion at his answer, leaning towards the former. But at she stared at Dom, she realized this wasn’t the best time to interrogate him.</p><p>“Just a few stitches in his arm, he’ll be fine,” she said, giving Dom a reassuring smile though she was feeling anything but. “What did you do?”</p><p>“Send Dom home. Come up to the lab.”</p><p>
  <i>Click.</i>
</p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” Dom looked concerned, eyes darting to her hands which were shaking again.</p><p>As much as it would have made her feel better to have him around, he had his own responsibilities to deal with.</p><p>“No, go home. Be with your family. I’m going to go handle mine.”</p><p>He kept watch as she packed away the rest of the first aid kit, slipping it under the kitchen sink.</p><p>“I hope I’m not outta line in saying so, but your brother cares about you, you know,” Dom admitted quietly, obviously having noted the tension in the short phone call. “I’ve worked with a lot of assholes, seen a lot of people hire me for optics, to feel better about the risks they take and not much else. But Stark is just trying to keep his family safe, I think. I respect that.”</p><p>It was probably the most real he’d been with her throughout his employment, and maybe it was the adrenaline talking, but he wasn’t wrong. Dom was a lot of things, but easily bullshitted and a liar he was not.</p><p>Even if he wasn’t always privy to the whole picture.</p><p>“Sometimes it goes too far,” she warned sadly. “And that’s what my gut says happened tonight. But anyways, get home to yours. Hug Nina and Lana for me.”</p><p>“Thanks for the patch up. Stay safe.” His mouth was a firm line as he nodded, grasping her shoulder lightly as he took off towards the stairwell.</p><p>By the time she made it up the lab floor, tension was thick in the air. Dani knew she was walking into the middle of a fight, literally, because the usual team (plus Hill and Rhodey) were already verbally sparring by the time she made it to Clint’s side. He immediately looked her up and down, but she grabbed one of his hands without a word as they watched on from the corner of the lab.</p><p>It only took her a few seconds to get up to speed with the flurry of words being shot at from all sides. The sceptre was gone, Tony created an evil AI and the whole room was ready to kill him.</p><p>And somehow none of this really surprised her.</p><p>“Ultron,” the word sounded sour on Steve’s tongue.</p><p>“He’s been in everything. Files, surveillance,” Nat explained. “He probably knows more about us than we know about each other.”</p><p>Dani’s hand flew to her back pocket, suddenly realizing she’d had her phone on her the entire evening; those bots — <i>Ultron</i> — had known exactly where she was the whole time. They would have been screwed even if they had managed to hide. </p><p>If they had surveillance and JARVIS-level access… they could have easily opened up the safe room even if they had made it.</p><p>Her stomach lurched.</p><p>“He’s in your files, he’s in the internet. What if he decides to access something a little more exciting?” Rhodey challenged, clearly trying to get through to Tony.</p><p>“Nuclear codes,” Hill chimed in.</p><p>And suddenly, Dani felt like she was witnessing a conversation way above her pay-grade. She felt like she was right back on the Helicarrier, thoughts swirling as the commotion in the lab picked up. </p><p>She had to sit, the pulsing in her eardrums too much for her to handle. Clint helped her down, sensing her distress and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into his chest. Only Nat’s head turned to check on her, and Dani watched the silent conversation between the spies before her eyes went back to the group. Something about JARVIS, something about extinction and rage, she was finding it hard to concentrate.  </p><p>Dani only snapped out of it when Thor stalked across the room to wrap his hand around her brother’s neck.</p><p>A gasp crossed her lips before she realized it, and Clint tensed beside her. She couldn't focus on the words being tossed around the lab. Thor didn't look any happier as he reluctantly dropped Tony back onto the ground and everyone else looked just as frustrated at Tony apparently playing God.</p><p>Dr. Cho, who Dani didn't even realize was in the room until this point, was the next to voice her confusion. “I don’t understand, you built this program. Why is it trying to kill us?”</p><p>Bruce looked horrified at Tony’s chuckle, shaking his head.</p><p>“Is it so… it <i>is</i>, it’s so terrible. I’m sorry. It is funny. It’s a hoot that you don’t get why we need this.”</p><p>And here it was, the reason he’d been locked in his lab since The Incident, the reason he’d been pushing Pepper and her away. Space, outside threats, the whole frontier above their heads that could easily drop another deadly surprise in their laps at any moment. The fear and anxiety just spilled out in front of the whole team. making up the blueprint of what Bruce rightly dubbed murder bots.</p><p>Dani might have even called the very public admission <i>growth</i> if her brother hadn't just created his own worst fear.</p><p>Looking around at the room painted a very different scene than what she was used to. Hill picking glass shards out of the sole of her foot in an attempt to focus on something else. Natasha stealing glances at a flustered Bruce. Tony staring blankly at the remains of JARVIS projected just above the ground in front of him… This whole thing felt less like a team briefing and more like a haphazard group therapy session.</p><p>Everyone streamed out of the room no better off than when Dani had walked into it, but Clint and Dani trailed behind the rest.</p><p>Tony didn't even look at her as he called weakly, “Dani.”</p><p>She set her jaw and lifted herself off the floor with Clint's help, feeling a bit like a newborn fawn. The adrenaline was long gone and the fear and fatigue were about to set in. Clint put himself between her and Tony, looking her in the eyes as he whispered, "Do you want me to stay?"</p><p>Her eyes flickered from Tony to Clint as she shook her head, appreciating the gesture but not wanting him around for this.</p><p>“Wait for me by the elevator?” she gave Clint a tired look, trying to hide the panic at what her brother could drop on her now.</p><p>Clint pressed a kiss on her cheek and nodded, leaving the siblings in the lab alone. Dani couldn't even look at Tony right now. She just stood there and waited for him to start.</p><p>“Are you OK?”</p><p>“I don’t even know if you have the right to ask that,” she hissed. “Dom and I almost died fifty floors below where you’ve apparently been working on Hal 9000.”</p><p>He shifted his weight from one foot to another uncomfortably, hands in his pockets as he stared down at the floor.</p><p>“Listen—“</p><p>“No, <i>you</i> listen, Tony. You need to fix this. This has gone too far,” she tore into him, the words bubbling from some deep pit inside of her with way too much ammunition. “I’m done offering to be there when you won't take me up on it until it's way past too late. I'm done with listening.”</p><p>He finally met her gaze, eyes more fearful than he'd shown to the group.</p><p>“But you’re staying here tonight, right?” his voice sounded small, stripped of the bravado and the cold laughter he’d been projecting just moments before. “Please tell me you’re staying here.”</p><p>A part of her felt guilty at his fear for her. Sure, he created the situation, but she could see the way he worried, the haunted look behind his eyes that screamed of all the trauma he’d been trying to bury in the lab.</p><p>“Tonight, Tony,” she replied. “Here, with Clint. But I might have to find somewhere else to stay if this is going to be a regular thing… or if it gets out of hand,” she slipped the last part under her breath, but his eyes told her he caught it.</p><p>He nodded, “I was just trying to protect you, protect the world.”</p><p>In the doorway of the lab, she looked back at him and sighed.</p><p>“So was Oppenheimer.”</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Anyone else dealing with quarantine (or side effect) insomnia? Because man, do I miss being able to sleep regularly.</p><p>Next update on Sunday or Monday.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>May 3, 2015</b>
</p><p>Dani made it approximately three steps into her suite before she rushed to the bathroom, stomach immediately emptying itself into the toilet bowl. The heaving and lurching continued for a few minutes, with a very worried Clint holding her hair back and rubbing her shoulder blades. </p><p>She could barely keep her head upright as she wiped off her face, Clint helping her up off the floor. The acid lingered on her tongue as he guided her gently to the bed. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d tried so hard not to cry, the pressure quickly building behind her eyelids.</p><p>“Dan? Do you want to talk about what happened tonight? Tony wouldn’t say,” he asked, carefully brushing a piece of hair behind her ears as she struggled to meet his eyes.</p><p>Fists clenched, eyes shut and jaw strained, she fought so hard to push them back, but the whole night’s events swirled in her brain, forcing intrusive thoughts to the forefront. What if she hadn’t had Dom? What if Dom had been hurt worse? Or killed? He had a <i>family</i> at home. What about Clint?</p><p>It was the endless stream of what ifs pulsing through her head that broke the dam.</p><p>“Oh, darlin’…” the low whisper was followed by Clint slipping into bed beside her, scooping her up onto his lap. “You’re OK, we’re safe. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”</p><p>She shook with sobs, his lips pressed firmly in her hair as he rocked her slightly. She tried desperately to calm herself so she could get the words out.</p><p>“Dom and I we—were heading to the safe room and we g-got headed off by one of those…” she couldn’t even bring herself to say the word. “Dom got hit, so I… I had to take it out.”</p><p>His hands started wandering as they held her, looking for any signs of damage as his brows knit together and he muttered, “I’m going to kill Stark.”</p><p>Dani stiffened, curling herself up as if it would protect her from her own thoughts, “It knew where we were. I had my phone. What if…what if Dom…?”</p><p>The words didn’t make much sense on their own, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud for fear she’d jinx it. It took a few seconds into her rambles for a wave of understanding to cross Clint’s gaze, and he held her tighter.</p><p>“You’re both safe, Dan,” he whispered into her hair. “You’re always safe with me.”</p><p>As some point he lay her down onto the bed beside him, caging her with his body as if to shield her from the nightmares. But she couldn’t sleep. Wouldn’t sleep. Dani lay there torn between getting up so she didn't keep Clint awake, and staying with him because selfishly that made her feel good. Tossing and turning, Dani had gently woken him up from his own nightmares twice already.</p><p>It took about another hour of oscillation and a very asleep Clint before she wound up on the couch with the floor lamp on, unseeing eyes fixed on the front door.</p><p>Everything was going to change again, wasn't it?</p><p>The sun was barely up and Clint had only gotten a few hours of sleep before he was called back up to try and figure out the Ultron issue. It didn’t take the circles under his eyes to know he hadn’t slept at all that night. </p><p>But she hadn’t either, so she couldn’t really judge.</p><p>Knowing he likely wouldn't be returning to the suite, Clint treated his departure like a real goodbye. He wrapped her up in an embrace and quietly pressed his lips against any and all of her bare skin he could find as they traded <i>I love you</i>s.</p><p>“I’ll be back in no time,” he promised, kissing her sweetly and opening the front door. “We’re going to fix this.”</p><p>Had it not been for the threats of Tony’s psychotic science experiment, it would have been like any other day, any other mission and she would have believed him. And just like always, nothing could have told her or Clint what he was walking into.</p><p>But this was different, weightier, and the goodbyes hung in the air long after he’d left the room.</p>
<hr/><p>It was six hours later with no word when she started worrying.</p><p>Normally it set in around the four-hour mark, but she’d tackled some ambitious projects, so she actually managed to get sucked into the work. Her skin prickled at the realization she hadn’t heard <i>anything</i> in the time the sun had risen in the sky.</p><p>“JARVIS, any word?” She caught herself asking the AI, as if he were still there. “Right. Fuck.”</p><p>At a loss and starting to feel frantic, Dani flipped the television on and the footage started rolling in. She never did this; she knew better, but at this point any sort of warning around what was going on was better than sitting here in the figurative dark, just waiting for news. </p><p>Breaking news banners flashed across the screen as CNN dubbed over crowd-sourced footage from just minutes before. The shaky cell phone camera video showed a wave of destruction across busy streets and buildings, ruin and debris flying with every swing of the Hulk’s fists.</p><p>“Shit,” she hissed. </p><p>The mission must have gone sideways. She couldn’t watch it anymore, quickly grabbing the remote and turning off the TV just as an Iron Man suit dropped the Hulk into an under construction building.</p><p>This wasn’t going to be a good welcome home, she realized. This wasn’t going to be something that a warm cup of herbal tea could wipe away. Dani was about to wrack her brain for some sort of comfort she could have ready, something she could do, but her phone vibrating on the coffee table brought her out of her head.</p><p>The two-word text on the screen from an unknown number sent a shudder through her, "<i>Go time</i>."</p><p>With everything she’d just seen, she should have expected this.</p><p>Dani kicked into action, ripping the battery out of her phone, grabbing her go bag and heading down to the garage. Thankfully she didn't have to somehow shake off Dom since he was off today, though she'd managed to come up with some great excuses in her emergency preparedness chats with Clint. </p><p>Her fingers nervously tapped against the leather strap of her overnight bag, mirroring the thumping in her ears as she tried to focus on the present. </p><p>Car keys.</p><p>Burner phone.</p><p>Hat and sunglasses.</p><p>Breathe. </p><p>The elevators doors swung open to reveal, to her surprise, she wasn't alone in the garage. She’d nearly jumped out of her skin seeing the dark figure standing there, but on close inspection, it was a friendly. Wearing a ball cap and aviators, Kate Bishop was propped up against the driver side door of a black sedan, waiting for her. Dani tossed her the keys in her hands, not quite sure how she knew (or guessed) what car she’d be using.</p><p>"Should I even ask how you got in?" Dani asked as Kate easily snatched the keys out of the air.</p><p>”Probably not."</p><p>They slid into the vehicle and Kate flipped on the ignition. The thump of a wagging tail and a little yelp from the backseat clued Dani into the third passenger in the car. She reached back and ruffled Lucky’s fur as his tongue lolled happily out of his mouth.</p><p>Of course Lucky had an escape plan too.</p><p>"How did he get a hold of you?" Dani asked.</p><p>Kate offered the ghost of a smile, “We have our ways."</p><p>"Is there a secret Hawk phone I don't know about?"</p><p>"I'm glad Clint's knack for brushing things off with humour is rubbing off on you."</p><p>Kate’s quick call-out made her pause, made her take in the gravity of the situation. She’d never seen the younger Hawkeye this serious, never seen in her element. This was the only other woman Clint trusted with his life besides Nat, and selfishly that was the only thing that made Dani feel better about this whole situation.</p><p>“I wasn’t even sure you were in town,” Dani admitted. “Weren’t you—?”</p><p>“On the West coast, yeah,” Kate confirmed as she navigated them toward the freeway. “But I’ve been back for a few days. What the hell happened last night?”</p><p>Suddenly thankful for the sunglasses on her face, she gingerly cleared her throat and started with the bits and pieces she knew. Dani tried to ignore the hitches and awkward pauses along the way, tried to push back the tears and the shivers bubbling up, leftover from the night before. </p><p>But if Kate Bishop was half as perceptive as Clint was, she already knew a hell of a lot more than she’d likely say in polite company.</p><p>“Your brother’s a piece of work,” Kate growled at the end of her story. “Are you OK?”</p><p>“Not really,” her voice was smaller. “It’s stupid because Clint’s the one out there and I’m…” <i>Doing nothing but running</i>, she wanted to say.</p><p>“Your feelings aren’t stupid,” Kate assured. “Just like being <i>super</i> isn’t always brave.” It sounded like there was a story there, but she didn’t want to push. “I know I’m not Clint, but if you ever need a not-Clint sometimes, you can always talk to me,” Kate offered.</p><p>“Thanks,” Dani said quietly. “I’m here too, you know. In case you ever need a not-Clint.”</p><p>The corner of her mouth lifted slightly, “Well, Clint Clint <i>is</i> an idiot sometimes. Are you sure you know what you’ve gotten yourself into?”</p><p>Warmth crept across her face at what sounded very much like insinuation, “I think we’re all dumb enough to deserve each other.”</p>
<hr/><p>The four-hour drive passed in a haze of Hawkeye stories tossed back and forth between them. Dani managed to make Kate snort in laughter at some of her anecdotes, so she counted it as a win. It was the only thing the two of them could do to sanely pass the time and not just let themselves get swirled in a vortex of doubt. </p><p>They’d both seen the news. They both knew this wasn’t the mission outcome they needed, and they both had no idea what the hell they’d be walking into once the team arrived.</p><p>The house was unassuming. Chipping beige and pale green paint chipping away from the exterior of a wall-worn farmhouse. There next house was miles away, tucked through the tree-line along a barely marked dirt road. Kate quickly swept the exterior before they used a cleverly hidden retina scanner to get them through the front door.</p><p>Lucky bolted from Kate’s side through the door and bounded through the house, stopping to sniff around before finding a spot on the couch in the front room.</p><p>Dani didn’t know what she was expecting, but it wasn’t this. Somewhere she supposed she envisioned walking into an old house, dust on every surface, sheets and tarps covering the furniture. After all, how often was a safe house used? Instead, it smelled like floor polish and fresh lumber, every surface immaculate with a little wear and tear on some of the heavy wood furniture.</p><p>The bay windows in the front room let in the last bits of light from the day.</p><p>“Wow,” Kate breathed. “The idiot did good.”</p><p>They didn’t get a lot of time to snoop, as the sound of a QuinJet overhead broke the curious silence. They both rushed to the front door to find the ramp lowered and the team lumbering off the aircraft.</p><p>Dani’s heart clenched as Nat limped under Clint’s grasp. It took everything for her not to run into their arms, but the group didn’t look to be in any shape for it. Their expressions were hollow, haunted as they approached the house.</p><p>As soon as he got to the front porch and saw her there, Tony pulled her into a hug; she almost stiffened, not used to the unprompted gesture. She shot Clint a ‘what happened’ look over her brother’s shoulder, which he shook off in a ‘we’ll talk later’ kind of response. After exchanging serious looks, Kate and Clint helped Nat upstairs as the rest of the team streamed in.</p><p>“Hey. You OK?” she quietly asked Tony who finally managed to let her go.</p><p>“Yeah,” he said a little too quickly. “Just glad you’re safe.”</p><p>“Ditto.”</p><p>She wasn’t going to pretend she wasn’t still seething about him creating a murderbot and sicking it onto the world, but he was her brother, he was clearly distressed, and she still had no idea what the hell had happened out there. How did things get so out of hand?</p><p>Tony turned to head outside, probably needing some air, and she in turn found Kate who was rummaging through the cupboards.</p><p>“I guess we’re going to have to feed them, hm?” Dani posed as Kate’s head turned towards her.</p><p>Kate looked uneasily out the window at the group gathering, “Are they normally this…?”</p><p>Looking around, it looked like everyone had cleared out of the first floor. Clint looked busy trying to mitigate some lingering tension between Steve and Tony. She didn’t envy him. And Thor, Thor seemed to have disappeared not long after they walked through the front door.</p><p>“Volatile? No… no this one must have been really bad.”</p><p>Everyone seemed to need their space, so Dani found herself in the fully stocked kitchen — not sure how he managed that — trying to figure out where everything was so she could prep food. Kate popped down to the cellar to see if there was anything else they could work with.</p><p>“He spent a lot of time on this kitchen,” Nat remarked, her unexpected voice making her jump slightly. “He never managed to get around to painting the rooms upstairs, though,” she chuckled to herself, tapping a paint can with her foot. “We got close.”</p><p>“I somehow can’t imagine you wielding paint rollers.”</p><p>“Hush. I can be quite domestic when I want to be,” Nat joked.</p><p>“Is that what you tell Bruce or?”</p><p>The redhead’s face dropped, arms folding against her chest in a defensive posture that was very unlike her.</p><p>“Shit, I’m sorry,” Dani said, horrified at hurting her friend with an off-hand comment.</p><p>“No, no. You couldn’t have known what happened out there. In here…”</p><p>And they left it at that, Dani reaching over for Nat’s hand and squeezing it comfortingly.</p><p>“I keep forgetting this is your first time being here,” Natasha mused quietly after a couple quiet moments. “Even when we were setting it up, it always felt like you were a part of it. <i>Clint</i> made sure you were a part of it.”</p><p>“You’re a part of here too.”</p><p>Nat offered a sad smile and nodded, understanding what she was really saying.</p><p>Between herself, Nat and Kate, they managed to scrounge together a meal. Thankfully the kitchen was big enough for them to all work, putting together enough food to feed a small army — which still probably wouldn’t be enough for the group. It wasn’t until the mains were almost done that she realized the plates were in the other room.</p><p>She piled them up, rescuing them from a dusty sideboard and was just about to bring them into the kitchen for a rinse. They jangled in her grip slightly as she rounded the corner, eyes landing on the man casually standing in the kitchen where she’d just been. </p><p>Wearing an eyepatch.</p><p>She caught Steve jump out of his seat, gauging whether he’d have to intervene and catch falling china. He settled as she caught the slip herself and stilled the stack of plates.</p><p>A quiet “Oh” slipped out of her lips. “You’re alive.”</p><p>It was such a stupid comment, she realized as the whole group turned to look at her, but they were the only words she could manage to get past her lips at the sight of the supposed dead man standing in the kitchen.</p><p>“As are you,” Fury confirmed levelly.</p><p>The thumping slowed a little in relief.</p><p>“Yeah, that was definitely going to be my next question,” Dani said levelly as she set the plates down on the counter. She looked at Clint with wide eyes.</p><p>“And no, you aren’t imagining this,” Clint supplied to the next question on her list.</p><p>“Right,” she breathed, trying to restart her brain in order to process this. “Right. Spy stuff. Staying for dinner?”</p><p>Fury gave her a curt nod, still observing as if he expected her to crack.</p><p>“OK. Sorry. Carry on.”</p><p>Somehow she managed to restart her brain and finish the last of the prep for the group. Not wanting to ask too many questions, unsure how deep the rabbit hole went, and not really wanting to ask Fury if he made a habit of wearing plaid now that he was on the run, she focussed on getting everyone fed.</p><p>Dinner was awkward and somber. The table wasn’t big enough to hold them all, so they scattered across the first floor of the house, standing, sitting and leaning on surfaces as they ate. Lucky was everyone’s shadow, prodding and pleading and sticking his nose against peoples’ plates as they piled them high. A testament to Clint’s soft-hearted idea of ‘training’, really. </p><p>The team paired off, talking quietly amongst themselves or not at all. Dani wound up with Clint, leaning her head on his shoulder as he quietly chatted with Nat and Steve.</p><p>A hand on her shoulder jolted her out of her seat, and a sorry looking Kate stared back at her.</p><p>“Didn’t mean to startle you. Just wanted to tell you to get to bed. I’ll clean up,” Kate assured, brushing off her protests. “Seriously, girl. Doesn’t take a PhD to see you need a break.”</p><p>By the time they got up to the master bedroom, which Dani hadn’t even seen yet, Clint looked like he could sleep for years. She cradled his face in her hands and traced his tired skin with her thumbs. Calloused hands slipped under the back of her shirt and wandered.</p><p>“Anyone else I should know isn’t actually dead?” she asked, trying to lighten the mood a bit.</p><p>“Probably,” Clint replied vaguely. “But I don’t think this is the time.”</p><p>She nodded, bitting her lip as she asked, “How bad is it?”</p><p>Dani could feel him go rigid beneath her.</p><p>“Those kids — they were just <i>kids</i>, Dani…” he paused for a moment, her thoughts rushing to his own history. “Those kids from the last mission when we found the sceptre, one of them can get in your head,” Clint explained, not looking at her. “They were there, put the team through their own personal hells.”</p><p>He had told her the night he got hurt about the boy who could run circles around them, a blur across his vision before he’d been hit. And she’d overheard Hill talk vaguely about the sister, but this whole <i>enhanced</i> thing was still new to her.</p><p>“You—?” she started to ask, stomach churning as she thought back to New York and Loki.</p><p>“No,” he assured. She could have sighed in relief. “But the rest of the team… Bruce got the brunt of the attention with the Hulk out, but they all got it pretty bad.”</p><p>Well, that explained Natasha’s reaction.</p><p>“Thor?”</p><p>“I think he figured something out, whatever she made him see. Went to see if he could find out more,” Clint explained. “I’m glad you and Kate are here.”</p><p>He was back in his uniform, she realized. Must have changed back when Fury made himself known.</p><p>“Me too,” she sighed, leaning her head against his shoulder. “You’re leaving aren’t you?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he admitted quietly. “We’ve got to head out and find Ultron. You and Kate stay here, I’ll come get you both when this is all over.”</p><p>She clutched at his shirt desperately, wishing she could throw him into bed and trap him there. Wishing she didn’t have to wait in this house without him, wondering if he was alright. </p><p>“You know I hoped this house would be more some day,” Clint said. “One day.”</p><p>“It still can be,” she supplied, noting his use of past tense.</p><p>He didn’t say the words, but she could feel his doubt. Every day the doubt that they’d be able to have a normalish existence was snuffed out a little more. Things were getting weirder, the threats were getting closer to home. The team was… well, barely a team right now. </p><p>But neither of them wanted to expound on that thought.</p><p>She tugged him to her, kissing him with every ounce of that pain and worry and fear. Clint placed the lightest kiss on her forehead, hooking his arms around her one last time. They walked back downstairs together, hands clasped. </p><p>Looking him in the eyes on the wraparound porch, she tried to put on her sternest voice, “Come home to me, OK?”</p><p>“I love you,” he whispered, giving her one last kiss.</p><p>It was an hour later when Kate found her on the porch, face still wet as she looked out into the night. She wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and guided her inside where they lay on either end of the couch closest to the front door, legs curled up beneath them. There was a quiet understanding between them.</p><p>Both of them wanting to keep watch of the much too-large house.</p><p>Neither of them wanting to be alone.</p><p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We’re so close to the end of this part, which is crazy to me! Feels like just yesterday I started this series, though I think I actually posted the first chapter on April Fools Day. I really loved writing this and some upcoming Kate scenes, so I hope you enjoy them too!</p><p>I’ll need a little extra time to prep the last two chapters, plus the first chapter of the next part of the series (because I wouldn’t ever leave you all hanging). I’m aiming to have the next chapter up on Friday or Saturday.</p><p>Hope you’re all safe, sound and hanging in there!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Chapter 13</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>May 5, 2015</b>
</p>
<p>The sun streaming in from the window peeked through Dani’s eyelids.</p>
<p>She woke with a groan, rolling off the lumpy couch that Kate was out cold on, still curled up into a ball against the opposite armrest. Lucky lay on the floor, lifting his head toward the doctor with tired eyes. She wasn’t sure how long they’d managed to sleep for, so she let Kate be and settled on finding the coffee maker. </p>
<p>After all, there was no way Clint would own a place without one.</p>
<p>After refilling Lucky’s water and food bowls, Dani found herself staring at the front door, out the front windows as the machine began brewing. Arms crossed, she could just picture Clint storming through with that toothy grin, with those bright blue eyes alight, assuring her everything was alright. But it was just a dream, a fantasy she’d escape to so she could push out the thoughts of destruction, flames and chaos.</p>
<p>As if the final drip of coffee into the carafe was an alarm clock, Kate strolled into the kitchen rubbing her eyes.</p>
<p>“Caffeine?” Her voice was just as rough as Dani felt.</p>
<p>Ruffled hair, smeared mascara under the lower lashes, eyes swollen. Looked about how she felt too.</p>
<p>Dani grabbed the mugs and started pouring, “I guess Hawkeyes are all fuelled by the stuff, huh?”</p>
<p>“Part of the job description, I’m told.”</p>
<p>Like Kate, Dani was happy to sit in silence with their fingers wrapped around the hot ceramic. The only words that wanted to tumble out of her mouth weren’t going to help them any, so she found herself biting her lower lip, trying to keep the thoughts at bay.</p>
<p>Wrangling up some breakfast from the food left over from the night before, they washed the dishes once it was through, and cleaned the kitchen. It only took about an hour for Kate to give up on the awkward, silent sitting routine, plopping two paint cans in front of a leg-bouncing Dani with a determined look on her face.</p>
<p>“Alright,” Dani agreed to her non-verbal cue, picking them up and heading up the staircase to the still-white rooms.</p>
<p>It was the first time Dani had really explored upstairs, so while Kate set out looking for tarps and tape, she stuck her head through the open doors and explored a little. There were two guests rooms, an office, a master bedroom with an ensuite, and a three-piece bathroom. </p>
<p>It was the master where Dani found Kate, hair tied up and away from her face as she dug through the closet for supplies. A mishmash of furniture littered the room, all in good condition, all solid wood. Setting herself down on the floor, Dani started taping up the baseboards to avoid getting paint on them, while Kate started moving and covering furniture.</p>
<p>The only sounds for those brief moments were the scrape and groans of wood on wood.</p>
<p>Ripping at the tape with her teeth, the silence was starting to make her itch. Between not knowing how Clint, Tony and the team were doing, and knowing there was nothing she could do to help except stay put, she’d do anything to drown out the background noise in her head. But she couldn’t find the words to make anything feel normal, or better, so she kept it to herself.</p>
<p>There was one wall Dani couldn’t get to, with a massive wood chest of drawers blocking the way. Kate was the one to notice Dani’s hesitation and took the lead.</p>
<p>“Here, help me move this,” Kate said as she motioned towards it.</p>
<p>Dani grabbed the edge of the beast and started shifting it, cringing at the weight of it in her palms. A chorus of jingles came from inside it, causing Dani to stop in her tracks.</p>
<p>“Hold on,” she warned, opening and inspecting the nearest drawer.</p>
<p>A stack of picture frames sat inside, haphazardly thrown in and likely forgotten at some point. Old and faded, some worn and torn, they looked like they’d been through a lifetime already. Dani pulled them out and flipped through them, Kate hovering over her shoulder.</p>
<p>“Is that—?”</p>
<p>Two young boys sat in a Polaroid picture, smiling, though the younger was in a headlock. The blue eyes and blonde hair immediately giving away the man who’d grown much since the picture was taken.</p>
<p>“Is that his brother?” Dani asked Kate.</p>
<p>“Barney,” she supplied. “Doesn’t talk about him much. I’ve only met him once or twice. Usually when he gets himself in a rough spot.”</p>
<p>“Family,” Dani said resolutely, as if it explained the whole mess. “Do you have any siblings, Kate?”</p>
<p>“Older sister, Susan,” she replied a little gruffly, and Dani wasn’t sure if that was due to the effort she was putting into hauling furniture around or a backstory. “We don’t talk much; she doesn’t really get <i>this</i>. Guess you’re lucky that way. At least Tony understands.”</p>
<p>She nodded hollowly, mouth dry as she thought Tony got it a little too well. She tucked away the stack of frames, feeling a little intrusive, and checked the other drawers before they both got back to work.</p>
<p>“Do you have other family?” Kate asked, and suddenly Dani deeply regretted the line of questioning she’d started.</p>
<p>She didn’t think this one through.</p>
<p>“My…my mom’s still around somewhere,” she replied softly, focussing very hard on make the line of tape as level as she could. “She did some… awful shit when I was growing up, so when I could cut loose I did. I uh, cut her out of my life.”</p>
<p>A lull brought Dani back to reality, the sound of stretching and tearing tape filling in the gaps as she tried to focus on her work. She would have been happy to leave it at that, but Hawkeyes were nothing if not stubborn and too empathetic for their own good, once you got past the tough exterior.</p>
<p>“How awful are we talking?” </p>
<p>Dani instinctively shot Kate a less than kind look that she immediately regretted, sending Kate’s hands in the air in surrender. </p>
<p>“Hey, no judgement here. Same story, different parent over here,” Kate explained. “Well, parents, I guess. Kinda. Long story. But if you want to talk…”</p>
<p>Staring just past Kate, at the unpainted wall behind her, Dani sighed and started picking at her nails. A bad habit she’d thought she’d gotten rid of, but here there were. Just like she thought she’d gotten past lashing out at people who were just trying to help her. </p>
<p>Same story, same Dani, different house.</p>
<p>“Sorry, I’m so used to people pulling the ‘but they’re still your family’ card on me,” Dani said quietly, looking Kate in the eye and watching her nod. She took a deep breath and started, “When I was a teenager, my mom used to… use picture of me to find guys to, uh <i>date</i> on the internet.”</p>
<p>While most people would assume this was just an annoyance more than anything, most people weren’t Hawkeyes. Kate stared at her, the slow realization of where this was going settling in, and she could see her jaw harden at the thought. Dani turned away, stretching out another piece of tape and tearing it off as if the action could distract her from Kate’s reaction to what she was about to say.</p>
<p>Like Dani could pretend it was any other day. Like she was telling any other story. Anywhere other than here.</p>
<p>She wanted to be as calm, collected and blasé as Kate was. Just brush it off and take it as a life lesson or something equally <i>strong</i>. She wanted to act like it didn’t feel like a dozen knives were stabbing her in the gut all over again. But she also felt this need to get it off her chest, like saying it out loud would somehow relieve her of this guilt she didn’t realize she’d been holding onto.</p>
<p>So she continued.</p>
<p>“She um, got a lot of dates from that. They were…” she trailed off as the images flashed through her mind, flipping through each of their faces one by one as if they were burned into her skull. “They were creeps, most of them. But the ones that got into the house, that she let into the house… they wanted what was advertised.” </p>
<p>Kate stopped what she was doing and dropped to the floor beside Dani, hesitantly grasping her shoulder, “It’s OK. You don’t have to.”</p>
<p>But there was just a bit more to go and Dani was so sure she could get it out without cracking.</p>
<p>Dani’s throat was a vice as she tried to get the last bit out, “One of them stalked me for years. Followed me to my high school, the house, even when mom ended it… He ended up trying to kill me one morning—” Christmas morning “—and…”</p>
<p>She couldn’t do it.</p>
<p>Dani thought she had cried her last tears over this. She had been convinced there were none left for this cause, for this decade old story she’d tucked away in her mind as best she could. But oh was she wrong, the sniffles and the tightness and the tears sneaking up on her as she struggled to hold them back.</p>
<p>Not wanting to be a downer, not wanting to bring the mood down to where it’d inevitably fall, she took the deepest breath she could and pushed them all back.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Dani’s voice came out rough as she wiped the last unshed bits lingering in her lash line. “I didn’t mean to be such a killjoy.”</p>
<p>“No, I offered,” Kate said quietly, her grip on Dani’s shoulder a little tighter. “I know what it’s like to need someone to talk to, especially someone who’d get it.”</p>
<p>Dani nodded, understanding the unsaid words and appreciating the comfort. Claws against wood and a soft panting preceded the dog bounding through the door and heading straight for the pair. Peppering her face with kisses in return for some scratches, he seemed pleased with getting a smile on Dani’s face.</p>
<p>“It’s OK, Luck. I’m OK now.”</p>
<p>Kate smiled too, scratching him between the ears as a reward.</p>
<p>“We’re going to have to close the door so Lucky doesn’t change colours on us,” Kate chuckled as she stood up to coax him out of the room.</p>
<p>Kate shut the door behind herself and looked at the room, grabbing the trays, rollers and brushes and getting to work. They wrapped the first coat before lunch, sneaking in prep on setting up the next bedroom before they ate. Dinner was late, but they managed to get two coats on all the bedrooms upstairs, avoiding anything beyond a couple minor paint spills and getting their clothes speckled with the stuff.</p>
<p>The sun was long down by the time they cracked into the beers mysteriously still in the fridge. Dani still hadn’t figured out how Clint had managed to stock the kitchen so well, but she wasn’t complaining. They settled on the front porch, looking up at the moon and into the trees. Lucky sat between them, head resting on his front paws and eyes barely open.</p>
<p>Kate was good company. She was a lot of things; a good confidant, way funnier than Dani could ever hope to be, and a hell of a friend. It was easy to see why her and Clint work so well as Hawkeyes, and it put her mind a little at ease knowing that she’d have his back in the field.</p>
<p>“Have you been on a lot of these with Clint?” Dani asked.</p>
<p>She didn’t ask whether she’d tried to get herself on this mission, but she wondered it anyway. Wondered if Clint forcibly benched her or if it was more of an SI liability situation. </p>
<p>“This is the first time he’s pulled me off the grid like this since the Incident,” she admitted, clearly sensing Dani’s surprise as she quickly added, “I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to worry you.”</p>
<p>Kate sounded uneasy, fidgeting a little as she spoke.</p>
<p>“He’ll be fine,” Dani said quietly. “He’ll come in tomorrow, ignore us both for Lucky, and we’ll all head home.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <b>May 6, 2015</b>
</p>
<p>The open windows brought a nice breeze through the house, washing out the smell of freshly dried paint. Somehow they’d both made it to the front couch again, taking their respective ends and managing to get at least a couple of hours of sleep. </p>
<p>Dani got up to make coffee and feed Lucky, Kate wandered in just as it finished brewing. They both stared out the front window wordlessly, tired and worried and wanting to go home. With Clint in tow, of course. Hell, their bags were already sitting by the front door, waiting just as they were. </p>
<p>But unlike the day before, they didn’t have as much to do to keep themselves busy, so they were both restless by lunch, sitting in front of the TV.</p>
<p>“What if we just—?”</p>
<p>“The last time I did—“</p>
<p>“I know…but, I’m worried.”</p>
<p>Dani reluctantly handed Kate the remote and sat on the couch, knowing that whatever was about to hit the screen wasn’t going to be good. </p>
<p>But she wasn’t expecting a flying city. Killer robots that could fly, sure. That had been a definite possibility after the night in Stark Tower. Maybe even add in some possession or the two weird siblings, fine. A flying Eastern European city with full SHIELD-style evacuation with all of the above?</p>
<p>“What the actual…” </p>
<p>Kate took the words out of her head.</p>
<p>The on-air media personalities were already berating the Avengers. Too little, too late they’d called it. The recent Hulk situation didn’t help matters. There were a slew of guests interviewed spewing elaborate embellishments of some recent superhero misdeeds. </p>
<p>This wasn’t the first time; these types of reports had become all too common since the Incident, more so with recent events. And they weren’t even watching Fox News, so god knew what <i>they</i> were saying right now.</p>
<p>The pair sat in front of the TV for too long, eyes blank as they hoped for the best result. While the evacuation looked like a success from the footage, it was impossible to know what the casualties would be like. Who were those new fighters they kept highlighting in the footage? Were those the kids Clint had talked about?</p>
<p>It was Lucky’s bark that brought them out of their media spiral, tail wagging as he scratched at the front door.</p>
<p>As predicted, Clint raced towards the dog, letting him lick his face as the two girls watched on. They took the time to grab their bags and Kate trailed behind to lock the door behind them.</p>
<p>Clint took the opportunity to pull Dani off her feet with his arms hooked around her waist, his mouth firmly on hers. He was covered in god knows what, definitely including some visible blood, but in that moment, it all faded away. She was just happy to have him in her arms. Happy to feel him against her lips. Happy to be able to wrap her arms around him again and just breathe him in.</p>
<p>It took a couple of seconds for her to realize the QuinJet was still running. A young brunette in a red leather jacket lingered on the ramp, staring out at the house.</p>
<p>“Another stray?” she asked Clint.</p>
<p>“He collects them,” Kate offered with a wry smile and a nudge to Dani’s elbow, having caught up to them.</p>
<p>“Two, actually,” Clint corrected, pulling the younger Hawkeye into a hug she only mildly resisted.</p>
<p>Dani squinted and could just make out the red hair in the pilot’s seat, “You already had Nat.”</p>
<p>“No, the other one’s at the Tower. And he— it? —is an even longer story. But this one,” he explained before motioning to the girl on the jet. “Her name is Wanda. Her brother saved my life.”</p>
<p>Clint struggled to say the last few words, jaw locked in a painful hold as he spoke.</p>
<p>“He died?” Kate could read him just as well as Dani could, both knowing the answer before he nodded.</p>
<p>Dani squeezed his hand, watching the colour fade slightly from his eyes. There was a lot they’d have to talk about when they got back to the Tower, she realized. For now, she was just happy to be here.</p>
<p>“She’s the mind-altering one? Is she going to be…?” Dani could barely ask, knowing ‘OK’ wasn’t going to cover something like that.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I think so,” Clint supplied. “I might have to stay at the Tower tonight just in case.”</p>
<p>“Of course,” Dani said quickly. “Kate, you’re welcome to stay too if you want. Tony’s got the room.”</p>
<p>If the younger Hawkeye was anything like her, she’d want to stay close by out of instinct.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.”</p>
<p>Bags and dog in tow, they made their way towards the landed QuinJet and up the ramp. They quickly stowed the luggage, Dani ruffled Nat’s hair for old time’s sake, and they made their way to the now seated mystery girl. She was tiny, bruised and a little nervous — it set a lump in Dani’s throat, the thought of someone being thrust into this world. It was a feeling she knew too well. Clint was at the girl’s side, probably talking her through it.</p>
<p>“I’m Dani,” she said, sticking out her hand as unafraid as she could. “And this is Kate.”</p>
<p>She didn’t understand the girl’s powers, but if Clint trusted her, she would too.</p>
<p>“Wanda,” she replied, gingerly shaking her hand. “You’re Clint’s girlfriend, right? He told me about you.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” she smiled. “I hope he only said the good stuff.”</p>
<p>But Wanda only nodded, looking down at the floor of the QuinJet as Nat called out for everyone to take their seats. Clint furrowed his brow at Wanda and Kate taking the seats on either side of him (Lucky perched at his feet), wondering silently if he should ask either of the girls to move, but Dani shook her head.</p>
<p>“We can talk at the Tower,” Dani told him with a quick kiss on the cheek, walking towards the passenger seat to find a waiting Nat. “SITREP?” she asked the redhead a little more quietly.</p>
<p>“You can’t tell?” Nat shot back from the side of her mouth. “That’s never a good sign.”</p>
<p>“He hides it too well sometimes,” Dani admitted, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.</p>
<p>She didn’t need Nat to answer the question about Clint anymore; her non-answer had said more than she’d ever admit out loud. But Wanda, she didn’t have a baseline for that. Clint didn’t take his work home with him, so this whole thing was very new… and kind of scary.</p>
<p>“And the girl?”</p>
<p>Nat looked away from the nav to look her in the eye, “Is probably going to be his shadow for the next little while. She was very close with her brother, and Clint was the only thing keeping her on our side, from what I can gather.”</p>
<p>Looking back on the trio strapped into their seats, she watched Kate tell one of her most embarrassing Clint stories (to his chagrin). The ghost of a smile crossed Wanda’s lips as her eyes darted between the two.</p>
<p>“Does she have any family?”</p>
<p>Nat shook her head, “Say what you will about Barton, but he has a clear type.”</p>
<p>Dani wished she could shoot her a playful grin at Nat’s hard truth, but her mouth wasn’t quite cooperating with her brain screaming at her as loud as it was. Everything was going to change, she’d called it.</p>
<p>Dani could feel the responsibility now on Clint’s shoulders. He looked like he was deep in thought with every interaction, carefully considering his words and movements. It was that patience she loved and appreciated so much in her own recovery. The warmth of Clint bringing someone into the fold.</p>
<p>“So what did you two do in there? Don’t think we left much beyond some booze.”</p>
<p>“We painted the upstairs,” Dani said, shocked when Nat’s eyebrows raised.</p>
<p>“Does Clint know that?”</p>
<p>“We didn’t get around to telling him.”</p>
<p>“Huh.”</p>
<p>She couldn’t tell if the spy was impressed or amused; maybe it was a bit of both. But her reaction wasn’t quite <i>her</i>. Dani would have expected a good joke at their expense, a quip or a new nickname. Something was on Nat’s mind.</p>
<p>“You want to talk?” she asked carefully, voice low and neutral.</p>
<p>Nat didn’t meet her eyes. </p>
<p>“Why do you think I have something to talk about?”</p>
<p>“Because you’ve been staring at that burner phone on the control panel like it’s grown legs, and you never have it out during a mission.”</p>
<p>For a brief moment, Dani could see the hurt behind her eyes, like she’d dropped the veil and let her in on a secret. There was a little pride there too, probably for her perceptiveness, the Nat-taught skill being a double-edged sword when she trying so hard to hide this.</p>
<p>“Bruce left.”</p>
<p>It was almost a croak; a cold, hollow imitation of Nat’s voice barely heard above the hum of the aircraft.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>Dani could feel the crease her brow, mind running through a million scenarios in her head, trying to figure out what could have gone so wrong that Bruce would up and leave. Had he not been happy? Should she have noticed something? Should someone have reached out to him?</p>
<p>“He took a jet and left it in stealth mode.”</p>
<p>Dani clasped Nat’s hand and squeezed, “I’m sorry, love.”</p>
<p>The redhead shrugged and said nothing more the rest of the flight, but she didn’t move Dani’s hand.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is going up at exactly midnight because I apparently don't sleep on Thursday nights anymore (thanks, meds!).</p>
<p>Actually pretty pleased with where this chapter ended up! It was almost a problem child, but I solved it.</p>
<p>Next update will be a double update (last chapter and first chapter of the next part), so I'm aiming for Friday or Saturday again.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Chapter 14</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>May 8, 2015</b>
</p>
<p>The last two days had been a blur, a rush of emotions. By the time they made it back to the Tower, the sun was setting again and everyone aboard the QuinJet was exhausted. Kate ended up staying in the Tower that night (and the night after that into this morning) in a spare guest unit, after Lucky thoroughly inspected Dani’s suite. He’d taken up residence on her couch, happily munching the treats they’d brought with them from the safe house.</p>
<p>That first night back was hard; Clint had tossed and turned himself off of the bed, waking them both with a start. Dani had rushed to the floor beside him and the mess of sheets he’d tangled himself in, whispering every calming word she knew in an effort to bring him back.</p>
<p>“We’re safe. You’re safe. I’m here,” she soothed as he leaned his head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat.</p>
<p>She wound her arms around him and tried to push her own tears back at the sight of him. At the fear of knowing that he could have been taken away from her. At the uncertainty of what the future was going to hold for them.</p>
<p>They’d barely slept that night, but later in the day Dani managed to keep Kate entertained with a Tower tour that involved a lot of side quests and random Avenger appearances. As expected, Kate and Sam got along like they’d known each other all their lives, and Dani was able to sneak back down to her own suite.</p>
<p>Which was great, because she was much too tired to be a good conversationalist.</p>
<p>The rest of the previous day had been back-to-back debriefs and tours, paperwork and security clearances, so the new (temporary) Tower residents could get somewhat settled. Clint took to explaining Vision’s existence. While introducing her to the android was a little jarring, she’d also just learned Nick Fury had faked her own death and a city had fallen out of the sky, so all things considered… </p>
<p>This morning, she rolled over to find his side of the bed cold and empty. It wasn’t like she wasn’t used to waking up alone, but after the last few days, Dani wanted nothing more than to just wrap herself up with Clint and be dead to the world for a while. </p>
<p>But he had responsibilities now, and Wanda would need him to find her place on the team.</p>
<p>She could have wallowed, sat there a while and really soaked in her thoughts from the last couple days, but instead she sought distraction. It was her go-to when she didn’t want to be alone in her head. Wandering into the kitchen, Dani found Clint nursing a mug of coffee at the island. Lucky was at his feet, wrapped around the barstool legs. Both were stifling yawns.</p>
<p>Placing a kiss at his temple, she carded her fingers through his hair, “Did you sleep at all?”</p>
<p>“Not really,” he admitted with a grimace. “Wanda had a nightmare last night, so I ended up staying up with her for a bit.”</p>
<p>It had happened the first night too. Not long after Clint found himself on the floor of their bedroom, he had a bad feeling. She learned later that he’d gone down to find her distressed and set up a makeshift blanket fort in her room to try to coax the poor girl into sleep. </p>
<p>Dani knew there was a lot of guilt there, it radiated off of him and those dead-end stares he’d fall into when he thought no one was looking. He was clearly upset with himself that he wasn’t able to save her brother.</p>
<p>She knew better than to push him to talk about it.</p>
<p>“How is she?” Dani asked softly.</p>
<p>Clint tilted his head side-to-side, “As good as can be expected.”</p>
<p>“What about you?”</p>
<p>Taking her left hand in both of his, he pressed scratchy kisses on her knuckles as if to ease her worry. Tired blue eyes, red rims, dark circles. He desperately needed a good night’s sleep, but that wasn’t something she could force on him.</p>
<p>“I’ll be fine, Dani.”</p>
<p>“It’s OK if you’re not,” she said in a quieter voice. “I’m here no matter what.”</p>
<p>He nodded, going back to his coffee with a squeeze of her hand, leaving Dani to size up her kitchen before the kids — Kate, Wanda and Vision — got up. </p>
<p>Somehow Dani had been roped in to making brunch this morning — well, it had been Clint and her who’d been volun-told. But Dani would definitely be leading today’s efforts… mostly because she didn’t trust Clint to handle a frying pan on less than four hours of sleep. There were a few things they’d have to carry up to Tony’s suite, since hers wouldn’t fit everyone around the table, so she rifled through her cupboards making sure she had everything.</p>
<p>“Please tell me you’re making extra bacon for Lucky,” Clint said with a yawn-turned-smile. “Otherwise we’re going to have a very whiney brunch.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, I made sure to add an extra ration for our favourite pup. I’m not a brunch amateur,” she chuckled. “And have I mentioned you’re a total softie lately?”</p>
<p>“Maybe once or twice,” he grumbled, good-natured.</p>
<p>Finished with his coffee, Dani started to pile things into Clint’s grip. Some pancake mix, extra teas that Tony didn’t usually order for himself, and a few other things she had handy. FRIDAY — Tony’s new AI — let her into his suite with no trouble. She wasn’t quite as sassy as JARVIS, at least not so far, and the Irish accent was throwing her off, but she supposed it could have gotten confusing with Vision walking around. Dani had already had to catch herself from calling him JARVIS on several occasions, which she was still embarrassed about.</p>
<p>Pepper was already at the dining table, flipping through her tablet with a cup of coffee in hand. She’d flown in the last night from Malibu, which Dani was eternally thankful for because it was frankly one less human being (Tony) to worry about after the Ultron battle. Plus, it made handling the media fallout easier when Pepper was able to manage things in person. </p>
<p>Dani and Clint dumped their haul on the marble island and greeted her. Dani pulled Pepper into a firm hug, trying to make up for the lost time since their last visit. </p>
<p>“Missed you,” Dani said quietly, feeling silly that a hug could make her heart swell this much.</p>
<p>And maybe it was just her lack of sleep, but it felt like Pepper held her a little tighter than usual, brushing stray hair from Dani’s face as she sized her up.</p>
<p>“You sure you don’t want to try to get some more sleep you two?” Pepper put on her most motherly voice, eyes shining slightly as she looked between them.</p>
<p>“I think we’ll be fine,” Dani assured.</p>
<p>After Pepper helped them find a couple utensils and their cookware (which, of course, was all basically brand new still), they set up the space, sprawling across the countertops. Dani pulled her hair back, tying it up before grabbing an apron. She got to work on the pancakes while Clint handled the fruit and Pepper started the coffeemaker.</p>
<p>Of course Steve was the first to arrive, kissing Pepper on the cheek before navigating to the kitchen to find Dani and Clint. “They really put you to work here,” Steve joked, eyes drifting to the pancake mix and grease splatter already on her apron. “Need any help?”</p>
<p>“Yeah well, I’m not a guest. I’m family. Free labour,” Dani joked. “If you could watch the bacon, that would be amazing.”</p>
<p>One by one, the Tower residents started to mill into Tony’s kitchen and dining area, the chatter drifting across the room. It was weird not having Bruce around, she realized. Usually he’d have been the butt of Tony’s jokes at least twice by now. But Sam was back from Europe now, entertaining her brother for the time being.</p>
<p>Steve had just finished setting down the last of the bacon when Dani took a quick head count.</p>
<p>“Did Nat go get Wanda?” she asked Clint.</p>
<p>Kate had breakfast in Tony’s suite the morning before, so she’d been able to make her own way in, now happily chatting Pepper’s ear off in the corner.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Vision too. They said they’ll bring up some orange juice just in case.”</p>
<p>That stopped her for a moment.</p>
<p>“Does Vision eat?”</p>
<p>Clint shrugged. Pepper shrugged. Even Tony shrugged.</p>
<p><i>Great.</i> She shook her head and convinced herself they could always have a bigger lunch if there wasn’t enough to go around.</p>
<p>The last three trickled in just as the last pancake hit the tray, and Dani started passing plates around so the group could pile it in. Clint made a plate for Wanda, who was much too distracted by Pepper’s polite introduction. She was like a hawk with the newbies, swooping in to make sure they felt welcome and had everything they needed for life in the Tower, even if it was temporary.</p>
<p>“Mind if I steal your girl for a second, Robin?” Tony asked Clint, holding a massive mug of coffee like it was the only thing tethering him to the world.</p>
<p>Clint shrugged, taking the tongs from Dani’s grasp and kissing her on the cheek. </p>
<p>Tony had been in meeting after meeting, and the amount of government officials passing through the front doors of Stark Tower in those first 24 hours was more than the building had seen in the last two years combined. But there was something else, another project the last mission had solidified for him.</p>
<p>“So, today we’re breaking ground on a new development, a compound to train future Avengers,” Tony explained, pulling her away from the fray in the kitchen to sit her down in his office. “New Avengers, or whatever.”</p>
<p>Dani was very much over being swept into her brother’s latest ventures (and was very much sick of these ill-timed chats), but not having seen him much the past couple of days, she guessed she could spare a few minutes. </p>
<p>None of the above prepared her for the next sentence out of his mouth.</p>
<p>“You know, we’re going to need a full med team up there. All these newbies running around, getting trained, getting injured. It’s bad for business. Well, <i>my</i> business anyway. But you… You should come work for me — work for <i>them</i>,” he amended, realizing his influence probably wouldn’t be a positive factor in her agreeing to do this. Not after this last screw-up.</p>
<p>So they were back to this now? As much as she loved being around the team, especially now that Sam and Rhodey would be becoming more permanent members, it was a lot to ask. </p>
<p>Dani’s first instinct was to dig her heels in.</p>
<p>“Tony, I have my own practice. In Brooklyn. How do you expect me to pick up and just move upstate?”</p>
<p>He shrugged, unperturbed by the logistics, “Make an arrangement then, I don’t know. Two weeks on, two weeks off?”</p>
<p>It would be nice to see Nat more often. As much as the redhead liked to pretend she was fine, she’d been purposely hiding away the last couple of days. Dani already worried that once this compound was finished she’d simply throw herself into her work again and not come up for air.</p>
<p>Plus she liked being outside of the city. Their time at the cabin made her miss simpler times when she didn’t need a bulletproof SUV and two armed guards to get groceries.</p>
<p>Then there was Wanda, who would definitely need some help from Clint along the way. She didn’t have a military or espionage background, she hadn’t been put through this kind of training before, and Dani knew just how important it was to have a solid support system in this line of work.</p>
<p>And none of those reasons even touched on Dani’s need to have her friends around, to keep in touch, to not let herself fall into the hole she so desperately wanted to climb into.</p>
<p>Maybe that’s why she decided to play ball, though she tried to convince herself it was mostly curiosity.</p>
<p>“One week on, one week off. Pending special circumstances on <i>both</i> sides,” Dani challenged, seeing if he’d budge.</p>
<p>A smirk spread across his lips at her response.</p>
<p>“Is this a negotiation?”</p>
<p>“If it were, I’d ask for three weeks vacation on top of that,” Dani shot back, fully prepared to up the stakes if he continued gloating. “But <i>if</i> I do this, I’m not doing it for you, Tony.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Tony admitted soberly, apparently happy to have her in the running at all. “I’ll even throw in a room on the premises.”</p>
<p>“And the good coffee machine. You know which one I mean.”</p>
<p>His brown eyes met her, and while the talk was good-natured, she knew her agreeing to this was more to calm his mind than help her. Assuage his guilt over the strange and (nearly) deadly circumstances she kept finding herself in. </p>
<p>Still, he cared. That was one thing Dom was right about. It stuck with her those quiet days at the safe house and echoed in her head at night. Sometimes too much, but he cared, nonetheless.</p>
<p>“And Archer?” Tony asked, as if the thought had just occurred to him. “Full disclosure, I offered him some contract training work.” </p>
<p>“I know,” she said with a smile. They’d already spoken about it. “I think he wants to stick around Wanda and help out, but I’m sure he’ll tell you when he’s ready.”</p>
<p>“He OK?”</p>
<p>Concern flickered across his face, but she offered a small smile, “He will be. We will be. And you?”</p>
<p>Stretching his arms overhead leisurely, he replied, “Going to kick back, see how Malibu is this time of year. Maybe Paris.”</p>
<p>“Paris?”</p>
<p>“We’ll see.”</p>
<p>She smiled at the thought of him finally doing something nice for Pepper (because god knew Tony Stark wouldn’t go to France for no good reason these days) and clapped him on the back. Clint’s brow was already furrowed as she made her way to the kitchen.</p>
<p>“What was that?”</p>
<p>“My brother being my brother,” Dani said quietly, trying to slip in under the conversations echoing throughout the room. “Looks like I’m going to help the team out with PT at the new facility.”</p>
<p>“Upstate?” the surprise bled into Clint’s response.</p>
<p>Suddenly Dani felt bad for playing ball with Tony’s offer, not realizing how it might have blindsided Clint. Her gut twisted, and suddenly needed to soften the blow, walk it back and not make it sound like a sure thing.</p>
<p>“One week here, one week there,” she added and he his face lost some of the strain. “Hypothetically.”</p>
<p>Reaching for his hand, some indication that he wasn’t upset with her, she let out the breath she’d been holding in when he took it in both of his without hesitation.</p>
<p>“If that’s what you want,” he sounded a little unsure, but hid it well behind a small smile, “then I’m proud of you.”</p>
<p>She looped her fingers through his belt loop, tugging him a little closer. She kissed him on the cheek, maybe trying to butter him up a bit.</p>
<p>“If you’re not OK with it, I won’t do it,” she assured softly.</p>
<p>He gave her the ‘I know you’re going to do this anyway’ look. She’d know it anywhere, seen him give it to Nat a million times for a dozen dumber reasons.</p>
<p>“Dani, you can’t stop your life because of me.”</p>
<p>“It’s not stopping if it’s <i>with</i> you,” she replied. “He offered you a job too, you know. You could always take it. I’m sure my bed upstate will get lonely without you.”</p>
<p>His mouth twitched, corner of his lip upturning just enough for her to catch the insinuation in polite company.</p>
<p>“I know. I’ll have to be up there sometimes to check in on Wanda anyway. We made a deal,” he explained, if by deal he meant his regular visits were the only thing keeping the Sokovian upstate quietly. Then yes, it was a deal. “And it <i>would</i> be a shame to let a bed go cold.”</p>
<p>She didn’t want to force him into it. He’d been looking for an excuse to do a little less hero-ing for a while, and with Kate offering to keep up the Hawkeye title for the next little while, this was his opportunity to do what <i>he</i> wanted to do for once. The last thing she wanted to do was back him into a corner.</p>
<p>As if he could see her doubt, he added, “We’ll be fine. I have you, I have Kate, Lucky, my tenants.”</p>
<p>He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hair. This felt normal, in their new normal, whatever that meant. </p>
<p>“Plus, if you get bored you’ll always have your secret Cap missions,” she said, unable to help herself.</p>
<p>Clint sighed, “No. I told you, I’m laying low.”</p>
<p>“Mhm. Practically retired, I think you said,” she said in a droll tone. “That’s what someone with super secret missions would want me to think.”</p>
<p>“Well, I’d be very bad at my job if my girlfriend knew about all my super secret spy stuff.”</p>
<p>“So there <i>is</i> super secret spy stuff?”</p>
<p>Clint groaned.</p>
<p>
  
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi amazing readers! Thank you so, so much for making it this far and joining me on this adventure. The next part of this series is already up, so be sure to subscribe to that if you’d like to stay up to date.</p>
<p>Once again, thank you so much for every single read, comment, kudos and bookmark. </p>
<p>I hope you’re all safe and well.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As always, thank you so much for following along. </p><p>Feel free to leave any wishes, hopes, or suggestions in the comments (or on my <a href="https://pasmonblog.tumblr.com/ask">tumblr</a>, anon open).</p><p>Stay safe,<br/>MRT</p></blockquote></div></div>
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